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The Moustache Opener

Author: Cajun

So I had some 1 on 1s the past few days, for those of you who don't know, a 1on1 is like a personal bootcamp with me. Anyways, I always make sure to practice what I preach when it comes to the material I teach guys, normally I never use routines, but when im teaching I always do to show students that they work.

Anyways, in this situation I told my student to use the moustache opener because he told me he was thinking of growing one anyways. Of course I offered to demo the opener so he could see that it worked, thing is, I hate using routines so I always try to improvise stupid things into them to see if I can make fun of the girls and also handicap myself. I spotted 4 cute girls at a table and walked over.

Cajun : Hey what do you guys think about moustaches?
Girl1: They're gross...
Cajun : No I mean on guys though..
Girl1: ...What?
Girl2: ahahaha!
Girl3: Are you growing a moustache?
Cajun : Yeah, me and my friends are, for charity.
Girl4: What charity?
Cajun :.....the Burt Reynolds foundation for testicular cancer.
Girl4: What? Does he even have testicular cancer.
Cajun : (dead serious) No he has something called "cheddar cock"
Girl2: WHAT! hahahahah!
Cajun : Don't laugh, thats just the slang name, its apparently really serious, he might die.
Girl1: What is it?
Cajun : Well...its like these little orange mushrooms grow all over his foreskin.
Girl3: WHAT!?
Cajun : Yeah and apparently they taste like cheddar hence the slang name.
Girl2: (between fits of laughter) How do you know what they taste like!?
Cajun : I don't, he just posted that on his blog.
Girl1: Who did?
Cajun : Burt Reynolds...

Girl 2 is pretty much crying laughing right now, girl 1 (ugly) looks pissed, and the other 2 seem to believe what im saying.

Girl3: How do you get charity for growing a moustache?
Cajun : Well I grow it then donate it.
Girl4: Donate the moustache...
Cajun : (trying as hard as I can to appear dead serious) Yeah, you know guys who get chemotherapy, all their hair falls out, so I grow a moustache for them, donate it, and then they stick it on their lip with some scotch tape or something and then nobody knows they have cancer.
Girl4: You might be the most fucked up person i've ever met.
Girl2: I love him, he's hillarious! Drink with us!
Cajun : I should go make sure my friends are having fun without me, ill be right back...

Hahahah I love doing shit like this. Anyways, girl2 was a singer in a rock band and pretty hot, I ended up getting her number later on. My student still thinks im insane.

I'm a training instructor for Love Systems . Listen to my audio interview series:

Vol. 24 Jealousy Plotlines
Vol. 32 Role Plays
Vol. 35 Humor
Vol. 43 Preventing Flaking
Vol. 45 Introduction to Comfort
Vol. 49 MILFs

Also check out Love Systems Magic Bullets , the Routines Manual , and Routines Manual 2


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