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Don't be in such a hurry to get into a relationship, guys. I just read an article on CNN.com, relating a survey that tracked 24,000 people and showed that marriage does NOT make you more happy. (Gee, we needed a survey for this?)
Not that marriage can't be fulfilling, but it is not a cure-all to your unhappiness.
You have to be happy FIRST.
This survey also showed that people who were more satisfied with their lives before they were married were more likely to stay married longer.
Gosh, that's an incredible discovery.
I've always said that most guys are in too much of a hurry to get into a relationship. Typically we want to lock in a woman as "steady" so that we can escape the singles world. We want regular sex, the satisfaction of having a woman who can hang out with us and do things with. A female 'pal.'
But also realize that you can get these things through dating and short-term relationships as well. It doesn't feel quite as 'secure' as locking in a girlfriend does. We want security, in the end.
Let's look at security another way:
How about having the security that you can talk to and attract almost any woman at any time, using just a few tried and true principles? How about the security of being able to date MANY women at once, and not have to feel like you're begging for sex?
You need to spread your risk with women. It's just like investing in the stock market. You diversify to cover yourself from a real loser.
You will encounter a lot of women out there who do not develop or focus at all on their own lives. These women are scattered all over the place, looking to fulfill their Cinderella dreams with the addition of a man/boyfriend/husband. If you're not feeling capable and comfortable with being single and getting your needs for affection/sex/accompaniment met, you'll tend to let one of these women corral you into the belief that you must be serially monogamous - that you can date only one woman at a time, and ONLY get sex by jumping through her hoops.
It's not true.
You must date MANY women to give you the experience, successes, and understanding that put you on the upward spiral of success. There is no more security in having a girlfriend than there is in being a single, Dynamic man with the ability to create the dating life HE wants.
If you feel intimidated or scared by the thought of giving up the girl you've got, even if the situation you're in with her is painful, you're not truly free. You're not truly secure. You're at HER mercy.
Develop a full and complete life without a woman. If you aren't happy being single, you won't be happy being a couple.
And if you feel good on your own, you'll be able to take charge and feel that you can go it alone if it doesn't work out.
That is the ultimate feeling of freedom and liberation.
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Carlos Xuma®.
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