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Confidence Despite Liabilities

Author: Carlos Xuma

EVERY guy has a liability of some kind. Short. Bald. Chubby. Missing a tooth. Missing a leg. Whatever. You have to learn how to communicate your confidence THROUGH that liability, and at the same time not seem defensive, or like you're carrying around issues.

Remember: Stephen Hawking, a man who is totally incapacitated by Lou Gehrig's disease, got remarried a few years back. You can say, "Yeah, but he's the most brilliant man alive. He's got something going for him." But c'mon... he's totally paralyzed, and can't even talk without his computer chair.

I tell you that ANY man can get a woman if he finds that brilliant part of himself, builds on it, and sells it hard.

Deal with these things DIRECTLY. That's what women really respect and admire. Directness. It says that you're not afraid to deal with situations when they come up. It's showing self-confidence.

Most people (guys and girls) tend to sweep small issues under the rug rather than deal with them when they're small and can be managed. It's a bad habit we acquire somewhere in our lives, and it holds us back in so many ways, because those little things inevitably grow if they're not addressed. One of the ways I managed to be successful in business, as well as help others to do the same, was to deal directly with problems. If you do this before they even become a problem, you're called "proactive" (if I can use a 1990s corporate term.) Then turn that 'problem' into a benefit for you by disarming her defenses and teasing your way in.

For example, if you're a short man you could try these conversational gambits on a taller woman:

"I don't normally date women as short as you, but if you buy me a drink, I might be willing to overlook it."

"You're okay for a tall woman, but I'm not sure if you're ready for the kind of charisma that I put out. As long as you can show me that you've got good health insurance, I'll hang around for a few minutes."

Be proactive with your liability and you'll always come out ahead. Most men try to submerge and hide their shortcomings, but you can do better by exposing it, poke a little fun, and then get on with the business of showing her your confident side. Show her that brilliant part and work it.

Trust me: This is one of the overlooked elements of self-confidence. DIRECTNESS.

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