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Part 1: How To Approach Women In Grocery Coffee House
Part 2: How To Approach Women In The Street
Part 3: How To Approach Women In Bars And Clubs
Part 4: How To Approach Women In Retail Stores And Gyms
Part 5: Topics To Discuss & Avoid
Men just need more confidence in their ability to meet women. This article gives you some of the root strategies in getting to meet women in different circumstances, continued from Parts One and Two. The approaches will break down each situation into the essential ingredients. This isn't your usual "be confident and just ask her" advice. I'm going to give you specific goals, opportunities, dangers, approaches, and analytical details of each situation.
Consider this an intensive class in meeting women and getting to the first - and most critical - step in the dating game.
Situation 4: Singles Bar (non-dance)
Any beer pub where people are mostly mixing and drinking. You spot a yummy blonde chatting it up with a friend over a Guinness.
Anything goes, from a phone number to possible seduction.
Alcohol always loosens people up and lowers their inhibitions. Plus, it's expected that people are here to meet other people and socialize. Women tend to be much more open in this kind of environment. You'll also get a lot less of their usual defensive behavior than if you were meeting a woman cold on the street.
With the availability of alcohol comes responsibility: be very careful to not drink too much yourself. You'll get sloppy with your approach, and you'll be prone to a lot of intoxication errors. Not to mention the risks you create if you don't succeed with your seduction and you have to get home.
Also, you need to remember that this is a classic "pick up" location, so women have their guard up. They know exactly why you're there, and they know why they are there. They've perfected the "Oh, I'm just here to socialize - how dare you try to pick up on me!" routine, but it's easy enough to get past. Never approach a woman as if you're doing some kind of pick-up pattern. You sneak in under her radar by treating her as if you are only interested in busting her balls and having a good time.
Women are here to meet men and have fun with their friends. Pure and simple. Even if a woman doesn't admit this on the outside, she knows that's why she's there on the inside. Especially the recently-dumped women who are looking for nothing more than a good time. (These are your prime candidates for seduction, by the way. They have an easy to identify need, and they are not really looking for anything more than validation of their bruised self-esteem.) As always, a woman never wants to feel like you are interested in her solely to have sex with her. You have to make her feel good enough about you - and her - to go along with your seduction.
You can best pull this off by teasing her and busting her chops. You'll want to memorize these approaches, as well as create some of your own to use. The more you practice in this environment, the better you'll get.
Use the teasing introduction from the "Off the Street" situation. It works beautifully here.
"Hi, I wanted to introduce myself to you and see what you think about guys who are confident enough to just walk up and introduce themselves."
Use your wingman. This is a situation where having someone with you to help out can be enormously successful. Especially since the majority of women will be out in pairs, you want to have someone to keep her friend preoccupied while you move on your target. Here's a classic approach that works very well:
You walk up to the woman you are least interested in. (You and your wingman will have to trade this duty back and forth to balance it out, or target two women that you both find interesting.) You tell her that your wingman friend is trying to break out of his shell - he's very shy - and wants to talk to her. (Since you're the confident one.) "Would you mind if he came over to talk for a minute?" If she stares around trying to get a look at him, you say, "Hey! Now don't be superficial. I can't believe you only care about what he looks like. He's a great guy and you need to meet him."
Chances are 8 out of 10 that you'll get her to agree, and if she doesn't, turn to her friend (the one you're interested in) and say, "C'mon, and help your friend here. What kind of friend are you that you'd let her miss out on an opportunity of a lifetime. You want me to go back and break his little heart?" If you play this up, you're almost guaranteed to get the four of you together with almost no problems. Get their names, and go back for your wingman. Once you've introduced everyone, you start talking to the gal you're interested in, while teasing her and having fun.
This approach works for groups of women of just about any size. All you have to do is walk over and take your pick. How much easier can it be?
I'm sure you've already heard this before, but please do not use any tired pickup lines. I'm sure you've heard some of these:
"Congratulations! You've been voted "Most Beautiful Girl In This Room" and the grand prize is a night with me!"
"Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?"
"Can I borrow your library card? I want to check you out."
"Hey, I'm new in town. Can I get directions to your house?"
"I'm not good at these pick-up lines, so could I just play with your breasts?"
They're all old, lame, and say exactly the same thing to her: "I don't think you're intelligent enough to appreciate me as I am, and since I have no clue how to talk to you, I'm going to try and be witty while being insincere. Oh, and I'm also going to make it clear that I only think of you as a sex object, not as a thinking, breathing woman. The only thing I find special and different about you is hiding inside your jeans."
Guess how long it takes her to figure this out? She has you pegged after the first three words. Just use something real about her to take notice of, be creative in recognizing it (while teasing just a bit), and you'll have no problems thinking of how to start a conversation.
Singles bars can often be like meat markets. The atmosphere is already built around drinking and socializing, and depending on the location, more rowdy behavior. You have a lot of opportunity in this location, and despite the opinions of singles bars, they are an important opportunity to meet women.
Situation 5: Dance Club
You're at the local club, and there is a band or DJ spinning tunes, with lots of hips swinging and toes tapping. You see a delicious brunette who's obviously getting into the groove.
Anything from a phone number all the way to seduction.
This environment is one of the best for seduction, if you're not too intimidated by the surroundings. Dancing is one of the most seductive things to do with a woman, and if you strike it off with her, the physical attraction and lust can be driven up through the stratosphere with her. Why do you think so many religions frown on dancing? Dancing is considered one of the sensualities that will keep you out of Heaven. It's erotic. Forbidden. And a great way to break down the initial barriers and get familiar with a woman.
Some of the more popular dance clubs tend to be loud and very rowdy, making it exceptionally difficult to interact with a woman closely enough to really seduce her. You may find that you need to get her away from this club, or in a more secluded portion of it to work some of your attraction techniques on her. Eventually, you will have to get her away from her friends if you hope to complete the seduction, since she will most likely have come to the club with friends.
Some cautions for you on this: Don't go overboard with your dancing. Keep your hands off her until she's made it clear that she's good with you moving in and touching her. Keep your hands off any sexual parts of her body, such as her butt, her crotch, her breasts, until she either pulls your hands there, or she's dry-humping your leg. Most guys go too far in the dance clubs, thinking that they can push the envelope with a woman. This is still a public environment, and her inhibitions are not going to be lowered enough to let you sneak your hand down her pants - or up her skirt. You should only take things to the level of making out in the club. If you want this action to move to one of your homes, you have to give her a reason to want more than she can get where you are.
A dance club is one of the easiest places to pick up women because you're already given most of the tools you need to approach a woman. You don't have to use any clever introductions except one: "Hey ... let's dance!"
A lot of guys use the old line, "What do you think of the band?" which still works. Better, though, to be creative and be provocative with your introduction. Try this one on instead: "Hi, I saw you getting into the music. If you want to become an official groupie, you can sign up with me." And she'll probably ask you, "Are you with the band?" You tell her, "No, but they keep bugging me to hang out with them. It's embarrassing, really. I think they're stalking me."
You should look into dance classes in your local area. Even if you're already a decent dancer to pop music, you should consider the benefits of learning ballroom, swing, or salsa dancing. Having a sophisticated skill such as being a good dancer is one of the top turn-ons for a woman. You'll be ahead of 90% of the guys out there if you can learn how to dance confidently and lead them effectively. Dancing oozes sensuality and sex, and there is no better way to seduce a woman than by going through the motions of sex to tease and stimulate her.
Check out Parts 1-2 and 4-5 of this "class" series for more situational techniques for meeting women.
Well, I've covered a great deal of material for you to practice and use. The critical part of this exercise, however, is that you MUST practice and use it. These skills do no one any good if you just read them, and the next time you meet a girl you walk up and blank out. Sit down and memorize the words you'll need, so that when the time comes, you won't have to worry about stage fright or any other fears blocking your real goal: getting her phone number. Everything starts there.
Now get out there and put it to use! Class dismissed!
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Carlos Xuma®.