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I was at the bus stop a couple weeks ago, and I saw a gal there who I had seen once before. She was young, attractive, blonde. I immediately saw some potential for conversation, so I just started talking to her as if I already knew her from somewhere else.
(You want her to feel as comfortable with you as quickly as possible. The best way to do this is ASSUME it at the start.)
"It's nice to see someone at this stop," I said. "There's never anyone here to talk to. Are you friendly...?"
"Yeah, I guess," she replied. (She looked a little put off by my question, but that is to be expected in most cases. She needed to know that I was not sure about HER. Not the other way around.)
We chit-chatted about a few things, starting with what bus I was waiting for, which one she was waiting for.
(By the way, a great way to open a conversation with a woman is with a question you already know the answer to. In this case, I asked her if the #20 had passed by. It was an easy question to throw out there and get the conversation flowing.)
It turns out she is a Pilates therapist (a form of physical therapy). I got her telling me what that discipline involves, etc. I got her talking about whether she was from the area, and it happened that she was from an area where I had been living in the Midwest.
(Once you find an area of commonality, jump on it and use it for all it's worth.)
I asked her some wild questions to make sure the conversation wasn't bland, to get her charged up. "Have you seen any UFOs?" I asked her.
(There's an area nearby that I'd heard about where there is a high incidence of UFO sightings.)
She laughed and said she hadn't, and I could tell that she was visibly impressed that I knew about that. Again, I was seizing on that one common area to establish familiarity.
I teased with her about having to massage old people's bodies and having them pump iron, to get her laughing, and this worked well to spike her interest. She started asking screening questions and other curiosity questions. (Prime indications of her interest in me.)
Her bus came just a couple minutes before, and I said to her as she was leaving: "Hey, maybe I'll see you here again. But I'll probably assume you're stalking me if you do!" She laughed and got on. (I also made a conscious effort to avoid looking at her or the bus as she sat down, so she'd wonder about my interest in her.)
Fast forward a week later. (I'm only at this particular bus stop once a week, after a class.)
Guess who's there? She's talking on her cell phone. I put my backpack down and call out: "Hey, it's the Pilates girl!"
She hurries off the phone (and I mean within ten seconds.) "Hi!" She says. "How are you doing?"
I give her the usual upbeat replies, how life is so good I can't even begin to tell her.
She starts right off asking me questions about this and that, and how many sisters/brothers I have and so on. (Right about now, I know she's really into it.) I turn the conversation back to focus on her, and we talk about her hours, how she likes doing physical therapy. I joke with her again about stalking me by waiting for me here again at the bus stop.
I ask her about a repetitive motion injury I have in my knee, to get her opinion. She tells me just to come over to where she works, pointing to the buildings across the way. To this I tell her: "Oh, no, then *I* would look like I'm stalking *you*. If you keep showing up at the bus stop, I can let you get away with it, but not that way." And she had a good laugh at this.
She then tells me that she wishes she had a card to give me so I could call. (Normally, I'd have just gotten her number and written it down, but I wanted to play with this one some more. I wanted to experiment, since I wasn't in a rush.)
I just nod at her. She asks a few more questions about my background (trying to establish trust) and I answer a few token questions, but I joke with her about moving awfully fast for a girl I just met at the bus stop.
Finally her bus arrives, and she gave me her number and told me she'll be back to stalk me again next week. She had to tear herself away to get on her bus.
Guys, if you can see what happened there, it's important. She went from what was probably no interest, just seeing another guy at the bus stop, to forcing her number on me. I could have asked for it on the first meeting, within ten minutes and definitely gotten it, but I decided to delay it some more. Eventually she gave it to me, and I never even ASKED for it. I jacked up the potential there by delaying the gratification for her as long as I could.
All this through the power of teasing her and controlling the conversation.
These are the kind of strategies that you need to have in your tool belt when you go out and meet a woman. You need to know how to handle the situation from the very start - where you spot her - to the introduction, to the first meeting, to the first kiss, to sex ... and beyond.
I'm pretty sure I know who will be waiting for me at that bus stop on Tuesday...
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Carlos Xuma®.
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