Time a problem for being with women? First, figure out what time you DO have available. What I've discovered in my life, as well as others, is not that we don't have time, but we don't always use the time we have to the best use. There are many odd minutes throughout the day where we shoot the breeze, or waste time doing things that don't need to be done.
Here are some examples of time you might not be using:
- Commute time on a bus
- Smoke or coffee breaks
- Lunch hours
- Television time
- Time spent in lines at the grocery, or DMV, or coffee shop
Yeah, it's going to sound very "90s", but you have to do some time management. A few minutes here and there add up.
I don't know your schedule, but I do know that no one can work ALL the time. All it takes is a couple hours a week to date a woman. (And realistically, you don't want to date her more frequently than this in the initial stages, or for at least the first couple months.) Figure out how best to use this time.
Find an hour or two, or even the occasional lunchbreak (twenty minutes?) to start having regular mini-dates. You might have to start with a smaller increment of time, and then give her the opportunity to promote herself into the more valuable off-hours of your life. Use your mini-dates to audition them, and reserve your precious free time for the best of the best.
Use scarcity to your advantage. Your un-availability will make it easier to acquire the desirable persona that women enjoy. You won't be clingy or needy, which will only improve your overall success. Having a REAL reason to forget to call her or not have the time for a woman (rather than a phony reason) actually helps you in many ways. You have real distractions in your life, and that's healthy. Not to mention NOT making women the primary focus of your existence.
There are many ways of not focusing all your attention on one woman, and not all of them require you to actually DATE several women at a time. It's how you focus your ATTENTION that puts your attitude in jeopardy.
For example, take Billy-Bob. He's been dating the same woman, Suzie, for about two months, and he's even happy to just be with her. But he also realizes that if he drowns his world in Suzie, if she's the only woman he focuses on, he's going to start behaving like a total wimp. He'll start sending flowers and writing poetry all the time. Not that he can't do this when he's seeing only one gal, but there is a terrible tendency in men to drown a woman in attention when you have that initial feeling of lust and novelty in a relationship. He'll smother her, and she'll run.
What should Billy-Bob do?
He should keep giving other women his attention. Billy-Bob flirts with every woman he meets. He still gets phone numbers, even if he might not have the time or interest in calling them. He keeps his eye sharp for the opportunities around him. He might get a couple women to accompany him to lunch on occasion, to hone his teasing and challenge skills.
You don't have to actually date every woman you meet. What you want to do is keep your belief level high enough in yourself that you understand (at a very basic and fundamental level) that you always have OPTIONS. You're good enough with your internal game that you never lack for female attention. Without that belief, you fall prey to the better-than-nothing syndrome, where you keep a woman because you either believe that you cannot do better or that your options are limited.
You want to build up a strong aura of attraction between you and all the women in your life. You do this by consistently creating POSSIBILITY.
Start getting interactive with women. Don't let your perceived lack of time stop you from jumping in the game. That's a cop-out. Get teasing and flirting and challenging them. Get on the field.
Then, get their phone numbers. You'll feel more empowered when they start asking you, "Hey, why didn't you call?"
Then, start asking them to take you to lunch in return for a little of your precious time. "You know, I'm all booked up this week. But if you want to drop by the office and bring me a sub, I might like to hear more about your plans to sing a duet with Axl Rose."
Then, when she's really starting to shine for you, offer up that exclusive two hour slot on Saturday. By this point, she'll feel the scarcity principle at work. "You know, I'm impressed with your perseverance, Maggie. I'll tell you what - I'm open for an hour this Saturday. How would you like to have a great conversation and some of my prime time?"
Where you take it from there is up to you...
Time is the name of the game in dating. You have to maximize every minute you have with a woman. Would you like to know how to really wring every possibility out of every encounter?
It's time to stop shrugging and time to start learning. If you don't take the reins of your dating life, you're going to end up with the scraps from the tables of the guys who are getting what they want. I don't know about you, but I'm not a Beta dog.
Imagine what it will feel like to wake up each morning, with or without a woman in bed with you, but knowing that whatever situation you walk into with a woman that you're going to feel comfortable and confident? Wouldn't that be incredible? Isn't that the way you want to live your life?
Can you imagine that deep-in-the-bones kind of satisfaction and confidence? Haven't you always wanted that?
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Carlos Xuma®.
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