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We've all heard about being "cocky and funny," or "confident and funny," or variations thereof. This article is going to start you on a path to meeting more women, the beginning to all your action. It's called Tease to Please.
If you meet more women, you get more experience, you get more confidence, you get laid more, and more options open up to you. If you date only a few women, you tend to cling on to each as if she was your saving grace.
We're going to start you on a program of understanding how to meet women at any time and any place. All you need to do is open your eyes and set aside about 4 minutes (or less) to talk to her, if that. This approach will work ANYWHERE you see a woman, and it doesn't require you to memorize a bunch of secret handshakes or hypnotic trance words.
Tease to Please works because it short-circuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting 'strange' men. You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you're picking up on her. It's what she's gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier.
You have 3 seconds from spotting a woman to when you approach her and say something to engage her interest. If you wait longer, your opportunity window closes faster than Ticketmaster can sell out Britney Spears tickets.
In that 3 seconds, you do this:
Look her over, and spot something about her appearance that you can comment on. Start with her shoes, and work your way up. DO NOT choose a physical body trait (like big earlobes, bubble-butt, giant breasts) to comment on. Especially not her overall attractiveness.
You find ONE thing that you can key off of and say something about that will give you and inroad. This is your ANCHOR. Once you've found it, you comment on it to her and smile at her, making strong eye contact.
Example: She's got bright red shoes on. "Wow, those are ... interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where'd you get them...?"
Example: She's got a black denim dress on. "My sister likes dresses like that. Where'd you get it...?"
(If you don't have a sister, use 'Aunt' or 'Cousin.' You shouldn't have to lie.)
She'll say something like, "Oh, I got it at Macy's" or something like that. You then nod your head and look at it for a second, as if you can't make up your mind about it. At no time do you ever throw out the usual nauseating male flattery approaches, like "Oh, that dress goes so PERFECTLY with your cheekbones." (There is a time and a place for flattery, and it's NOT in an improvised meeting like this.)
Flattery is the scream for approval of the desperate guy. It's like cotton candy - sweet for a split second, but disappears almost immediately. You want to dangle the PROMISE in front of her first.
You *almost* convey a look of inconvenience, that you went out of your way to comment on her alligator-skin shoes, or her denim skirt. The less she thinks you approached her out of sexual interest, the lower her guard is.
Don't be insulting! Just be mysterious and ambiguous.
(Her next mental question is: "Gee, I wonder if he likes my dress? He didn't say." )
From here, you will bridge into the Tease portion of the conversation, and we'll cover that in the next installment. All there really is left to do is to keep her engaged in the conversation for just a minute or two, show some confidence, and walk away with her phone number.
Now, the typical question I get is "What if there's nothing out of the ordinary about her?"
Simple: You make something up. There is ALWAYS something you can find when you look, and if it's not readily apparent, you make it up. If she's got clothes on (and even here in San Francisco, they still wear clothes) you can find something to pick out. I recommend looking for jewelry, because every woman takes a lot of thought in selecting her jewelry.
For especially attractive women, you need to come on a bit differently, and it pays to use a combination of the negative-hit with this. I even recommend that when you get used to this technique, you use it exclusively on the hotties. When you're comfortable with it, it makes more impact.
You say just one thing, and it's so easy you'll have a tough time forgetting it:
"Your dress/shoes/blouse/jacket/purse (whatever) caught my eye. I like the style, but I think you should try it in black, instead. You'd look better with it in black instead of gray." (Choose the color accordingly.) You nod your head, again meeting her eyes full-on.
Her head will suddenly spin ... "But... but... all the other guys said I looked like a fashion model with this on... What do you mean?"
By using these approaches, you've just flipped her trust switch in her head. You see, she starts out needing to find a reason to be interested and trust YOU - or she quickly categorizes you as a friend (FRIEND = non-lover, a woman you won't be able to sleep with). If you just start talking to her neutrally, she's wondering, "Is he safe?" For all she knows, you're a nut-case looking to pull her into a multi-level marketing scheme. NOW, all of a sudden, she is suddenly told (by your words and actions) that you might not be so interested. You're different - i.e., INTERESTING to her.
For the first week or so, if you're feeling a bit nervous about approaching women, work your way into this slowly. Just use the intro line I gave you, and take it wherever you need. Hell, I'd even recommend you ONLY ask her the first part ("Where'd you get xxxx, my sister might like that ..."), then say "thanks" and walk away. Get used to just chatting up anyone and everyone you meet. Take the pressure off for the first week or two, until you get used to the fact that WOMEN AREN'T GOING TO REJECT YOU LIKE YOU THINK THEY WILL.
You don't need anything fancy or clever. You don't need anything special to comment on. You just take WHATEVER she is wearing or holding and comment on it AS IF IT WERE different or interesting. Then, by virtue of following it up with a quick tease, you get her mind off her initial defense (IS HE SAFE?) and on to validating herself a little to you. This is the primary psychological underpinning of the whole "TEASE TO PLEASE" method. And I just gave it to you in a simple, workable format.
What most guys will do is to spend all their energy trying to climb over her initial trust hurdle, when they really need to focus on getting her to flip that switch in her head by making HER the one to present herself to you. (This will be more apparent when I explain the Tease portion in our next installment.)
Most guys will take any approach and shoot it down and find everything they can about what's WRONG with it before they will go out and use it and make it work. My advice to you is to prove it won't before you even think about coming back to me with a rebuttal. I know that I'll get scads of letters asking me what to do in X situation or Y situation, because they're 'different' somehow, but it makes NO difference. You only have to spot one anchor on her to comment about. I use it all the time, and it is very effective.
Just remember to keep things light and humorous, and never to insult.
ANYTHING can work, if you just use it in the right way. I just gave you the first half of a technique that works ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. On ANY woman. The best part about it is that it is simple, universal, and effective. All you have to do is to find your target, find an anchor, and start your Tease ... (but only to please...)
In my future articles for SeductionTuition.com, I will cover many other focused approaches that you can use as well, from meeting her online, or at a dance class, or at a bookstore, or even Wal-Mart. You'll also get the complete breakdown of the psychology to the close for the phone number. I'll tell you where and when to use flattery, and how to mine the rich ore of women you see every day. There's nothing you won't know about meeting ANY woman ANYtime, ANYwhere. (I'll even tell you what the single underlying reason is for a woman's defense for all men that approach her, and how to bypass it.)
Now, get out there and start getting in the game. You play it from the comfort of the stands.
Stay tuned! It's going to get good...
I'll have the last half of this method to you soon.
If you liked my advice, you'll love my FREE ebook I'm giving away for Seduction Tuition readers:
How To Take The Fear Of Approaching Women
And CRUSH It Under Your Heel
Like A Bug.
Put your email in the box above and I'll send you my Approach Anxiety eBook directly to your email inbox right NOW.
And, on the next page, I want to explain one of the most painful experiences a guy can go through when approaching women - and how it can be completely avoided...
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Carlos Xuma®.
- Ways To Meet Women
- Secret To Meeting People
- Before The Approach
- Make The Right Impression
- Establishing Eye Contact With Women
- Dress To Impress
- What Not To Say
- How To Approach Women Anywhere
- PickUp Lines Don't Work
- When Girl Wants Approach
- Tease Her Please Her
- Start Conversation With Women
- State Control
- Two Approach Mistakes
- Tao of Judgement
- Mistakes When Approaching
- The "I" Perspective
- Approaching Women Tips
- Hook Theory
- Actions Louder Than Words
- Active Disinterest
- How To Approach
- Opening Sticking Points
- Neg Theory
- Slow It Down
- Trick To Sarging Solo
- Disarm Charm Her
- How To Begin & Complete Pickup
- State Killers
- How To Approach Women