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While in the comfort phase, you don't want to tease in order to punish a woman for bad behavior, simply because it's a waste of time and it's going backwards in the process. You will start to banter, which leads to a playfully fighting vibe. This is the complete opposite of what you want once you are in comfort. In comfort you want to make her say to herself, "where was this guy all my life?"
[For more on comfort, see Chapter 9: Comfort of Magic Bullets .]
Inevitably, however, there will be times when a woman will do something that you don't like, and it's imperative that you make her understand that this is unacceptable. I have deconstructed the process you need to follow in order to modify such behavior for good.
Change your behavior
Fall silent or otherwise change your attitude to be more dismissive and display a willingness to walk away. The main point of this is to show that things will never be the same unless she changes what she just did. It's unacceptable.
Wait for her to bring it up
She should realize that you are upset without you having to say anything about it. Remember that 90% of communication is non-verbal? This is the right time to apply that. Turn your body so that you're not facing towards her, don't look her in the eyes, be dismissive, and keep your answers short.
Explain what the problem is
Once she asks what's going on, explain that her behavior is unacceptable. The key to this is to be reluctant to explain it, like you didn't want to say anything but she had to force it out of you. Once you do start explaining, make sure you let her know that you have a rule against that and you will not tolerate such behavior.
Put a hoop
The key to solving the little drama you just created is by putting a hoop to a new behavior or frame of mind she must accept in order to continue being with you. If the fight is because she flaked out, then the hoop would be that she has to bring you a present in order to make it up to you. Don't be afraid to make it a big hoop as this is her chance to prove that she likes you after she messed up and it proves that you are willing to walk away if she doesn't live up to your high standards.
Once she jumps your hoop, reward her and let her know how awesome she is/the two of you are together. Make her feel like you were meant to be together and that she is great. You can even surprise her (with whatever you may want to do for her), or give her a compliment about her personality after she jumps your hoop.
Now you have a girl that is learning what you like. Here's the process again in a nutshell, after she does something you don't like:
- Change your behavior
- Wait for her to bring it up
- Explain the problem
- Put a hoop
- Reward her for jumping your hoo
I'm a training instructor for Love Systems . Listen to my audio interview:• Vol. 30 Teasing
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