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YOU ARE TOTALLY MISSING WHAT'S GOING ON!

THIS WOMAN ACTUALLY LIKES YOU, AND YOU'RE SCREWING IT ALL UP BY ACTING LIKE A NEEDY WUSS BAG!

If you were closer, I'd slap you myself.

DUH!

Whew. Let me calm myself. As you know, I don't usually get so worked up. That makes three exclamation marks in one email, and I haven't even started lambasting you proper yet. (What is lambasting, anyway? And is that how you spell it? It's such a great word. I really should look it up and find out.)

OK, I'm calm.

NOW, let's have a little talk here...

The reason why this kind of situation bothers me is at least twofold:

1) Because I've been in it myself about a bazillion and a half times, and it sucks to be screwing something up and not even realize that you're doing it.

2) I can tell from your email that you actually like this girl A LOT, and that she's probably a fantastic woman... and I hate to see you working so hard against yourself... and screwing this up when it's right there in front of you for the taking.

OK, back to the basics.

Let's take this from the top...

At the very beginning of your email, you said something that basically telegraphed EXACTLY what was going on here...

You said, "...I think I've met "the one," but I'm having trouble making her realize this. I've been pursuing her for about five months..."

You're having trouble making her REALIZE this?

You've been PURSUING her?

Do you assume that at some point within the NEXT five months that she's going to wake up one day and feel a powerful ATTRACTION for you because you like to chase her around and tell her how you feel about her?

Normally I'd make fun of you here, and tell you that you don't get it... blah blah blah.

But for some reason I feel like I just have to lay things out for you directly.

Look, man... the reason why she's telling you that she "doesn't know why it hasn't evolved into something romantic" is that she doesn't FEEL IT.

She doesn't FEEL IT.

Get it?

SHE DOESN'T FEEL IT!

She doesn't feel ATTRACTION for you.

And you can't CONVINCE her to feel it by chasing her around and telling her how you "feel" about her.

Attraction, as I always say, ISN'T A CHOICE.

You're acting like most guys who think things like: "If she only knew how I felt about her, she'd feel the same way" and "If I keep pursuing her, she'll eventually see how much I love her" etc.

Well guess what?

AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN, HOMEY.

Right now you are playing what is referred to as a "losing game".

Think of it this way. If you stop on the way home from work every day and buy a lottery ticket, you'll win once in awhile. Hell, you might even be lucky one day and win big.

But your chances SUCK.

You're probably going to lose a LOT more than you win over time.

Like I said, you COULD win big. There is a chance. But you probably won't. And I mean probably with a BIG P.

I refer to the way that you're acting as "Being a Wussy" (that's the technical term... made it up myself).

When you act like a Wussy, you do things like:

- Pursue

- Cling

- Share "feelings"

- Act submissive

- Seek approval

- Pine away

This is WUSSY behavior.

It's distinctly FEMININE in nature.

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