Let me start by telling you, you 'da man! I really got to hand it to you, your stuff has given me confidence I've never had before, and I'm just trying to absorb as much of it into my head as possible. I really want to thank you for being able to share this stuff with guys like me and not keeping it to yourself.
There's just one thing wrong with your material: its way TOO CHEAP!!! Seriously Dave, I think WE'RE ripping YOU off! Thanks to you, I started to apply the Cocky and Funny in chatting rooms and in the real world, and it is a hell of a lot better than the Mr. Nice guy act. However, I use emails and chat to practice my Cocky and Funny and it is improving. For example, I have one trick I use and it works on a girl whether she's younger, older, or the same age as me.
I asked one girl her age, and she turned out to be as old as me, 21. I then replied by telling her "ahh forget it, your too young for me" I assume that this girl wasn't used to a rejection like this and she was intent on knowing how old I was. I told her that I was also 21, and she reacted like most girls do at this part, by laughing and turning into a stuck up and asking me how she could possibly be too young for me. I then respond saying something like "I guess your right, its not your age, you just wouldn't be able to handle me," then she reacts like most girls do at this point, continuing to be even more stuck up and laugh sarcastically, while I tell her that Ill give her a chance because she wants it so much, and she has 2 minutes to convince me she can handle me. Now this is a great conversation starter, and while she argues the fact that she can handle me, I occasionally send her teasing comments like, "honey, your wasting my time" or "Why are u not entertaining me" or "ZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzz". I kind of understood how being Cocky works, and if the girl really meant the insults she said to me at first, she still wouldn't be talking to me, right? After doing this to one particular girl, who turned out to be hot as hell from a pic she sent me, she completely forgot about being stuck up and told me "ok, Im sorry, lets start over" this is when I realized I had her in my grasp and I continued being Cocky but turned it down a notch, was this the right thing to do? Around the end I asked her for her email and she replied by telling me she canceled it yesterday, a terrible excuse. I persisted and said "yeah sure, just type it down, it'll be ok." she stuck to her story and I gave up and gave her my email which she "supposedly" wrote down. Now I know I probably shouldn't of backed down on her email, but I thought the conversation was going so great she would actually want me to have her email. Is there something I did wrong for her to refuse giving it to me, and what other ways could I make a girl give me her phone # and/or email? Also, you stress how you should never answer a girls question directly, to leave her unsure. This happens to be my weakness and I would appreciate a few tips on this too.
Thanks for everything Dave, your reply would really mean a lot. W.C.
Great story... and great job.
One thing you have to remember about chat rooms and online IM sessions is that they're great PRACTICE.
Now, I've met some UNBELIEVABLE women on the internet... so don't get me wrong here.
But don't worry too much about any particular girl... or any particular situation.
She could have had a boyfriend, or even a husband... and was just online because she was bored... or any of 100 other scenarios.
When something like this happens, just move on.
The point is that you're using the Internet for a GREAT "practice environment", and you're training your mind to be Cocky & Funny in the moment... which begins to translate into the REAL world as you do it.
To answer your question about how to get a girl to give you her email address and/or number, just do more of what you're already doing...
Keep throwing down the challenges...
Write back and say, "Yeah, you're probably not that adventurous".
She'll say, "Yes I am!"
Then say, "Well, if you were then you would have asked me for my number and called me already. But you're not. So you didn't...."
Keep this up until she asks for YOUR number.
Then, as soon as you hit the "send" button, IM her again quickly to say, "I don't hear my phone ringing! Hurry up!"
You'll love the results you get from this kind of thing.
But be careful. And get LOTS of CURRENT pictures. Take it from someone who knows... lol... don't just take her word for it.
Hey Dave man!!!!
I'm taking your advice and not being an ass kisser, so I won't say how much your book rules (even though it does). I'm seeing 2 girls and potentially 3, but I have some questions. First off, any advice when dealing with a really shy woman? It's tough to do some of the things like the kiss test when they're timid (but oh so cute). Second, the potential one I'm kind of interested in, but definitely not long-term, and I think she knows that, but I'd like to get to know her and have a little fun...any words of wisdom? Third, this may be covered in the book and I haven't gotten to that chapter yet, but any style advice when it comes to clothing? I'm clueless there.
Thanks in advance dude!
I'll answer them in reverse.
Yes, style advice is in the book. Turn to pages 33 and 34.
To contestant number 2, just keep on doing what you're doing. Women usually know what's going on, and she'll start making relationship noises if she really wants one. Until then, keep doing what's working.
And about the oh-so-cute shy girls: I know, I know... but you must remember that if you're the one that brings the shy girl out of her shell, she's probably going to want to marry you... and if she's not very experienced with guys, you might mess with her head too much. Do the right thing.
I was just wondering if you think it's a good idea to call a woman before a date to confirm or should I just show up at her doorstep and hope shes there? A while ago I had a date with a woman and I didn't call before I left to pick her up then when I got to her house she wasn't there. Do you call before the date to confirm?
You know, it's been so many years since I've gone out to a woman's house and picked her up for a first date, I can't even remember.
I recommend that you DO NOT do something expensive and typical like going and picking a woman up, taking her to dinner, etc. for a first date.
1) Have her come to your place, and leave for a cup of tea from there.
2) Meet her at a coffee shop that's CLOSE to your place, and if she flakes out, you can still enjoy yourself and you're not far from home.
Another rule of thumb I have is to not make a date too far in advance.
I've found that often times, you can call a woman up and say, "Let's go get a cup of coffee RIGHT NOW".
It's rare that I would ever make plans more than a day in advance... this also helps prevent flaking.
You DVD program has made me get up from the sofa and do something about my love life. No real success yet but I can now see beyond my fears and actually approach women.
As you recommended I started using the Internet as A 'women simulator', it's great and I think I'm doing fine with the cocky and funny stuff. For example, I call my self "too witty for you" and in my description I write "don't please don't... well OK - are you cute?" and it works :-) Sadly, I can't give example from the chats since they are in Hebrew but you know... it's even funnier in Hebrew.
My question is simple: you said to move quickly from the chat to the phone. Well, do you have a "3 minute phone technique" adopted for the chats?
(the problem is that I can't say something like "I going back to my friends" like I do in a bar).
U.W. from Israel.
Maybe you can work with me soon on the "Ultimate Comprehensive Guide To Cocky & Funny Online Chat In Hebrew".
I answered this question above, but loved your email so I had to include it.
When you're online, you have to REALLY go the extra mile and EXXXXXAGGGGERATE everything.
You can't just say "You seem cool, let's talk sometime".
You have to say "You're a pain. I'll bet you can't keep this up live on a telephone. You're probably too much of a scaredy-cat to even TRY it..."
Work it. Try things. You'll find that these kinds of challenges work VERY well online
I've been reading your newsletter for a long time now, have bought the e-book, the CD series and DVD series, and the stuff just keeps getting better and better. I've turned several of the guys here in the office onto your material and they all profess to be "totally changed" or "a new man" or otherwise similarly positively transformed.
Anyway, after reading some of the stories in your latest newsletter, I thought about one technique that I've been using lately, to great effect.
It started about 5 months ago when I was at the dentist. Basically, I have this gap between my front teeth that I had never given much thought to. Well, the hygienist girl, who is totally cute, asked me if I ever considered "getting it fixed". I said "no. It's part of my charm. It makes me more attractive. I know you agree." She totally blushed, and was super nice to me the rest of the time. Well, I left, didn't want her digits, so I didn't ask. But I thought I'd try something like this out later to see if it would work.
Jump forward a couple of days to a local art fair... by the way, these are good places to meet attractive, intelligent 30-something women... they are also awesome places to bring dates (and mostly cap on the artwork). The plan worked like this... I picked out the most attractive, single-looking woman in the room, went up to her and capped on the sculpture she was looking at, then quickly turned the conversation around to her, eventually saying "I love your hair, but I don't usually date smokers". She said "what do you mean? I don't smoke." I answered, in a cocky and funny way, by saying that I was sure she did, from the way her teeth looked. Oh yeah, this went against the "conventional wisdom" that says it's okay to insult a woman's accessories, but not her natural attributes... anyway, she got embarrassed, and tried to cap on me about my teeth, something like "who are you to talk, your teeth aren't perfect." Which was the perfect set up for "Yeah, but that's part of my charm, it makes me more attractive. I know you agree." She rolled her eyes said "Oh brother" or similar... but, two minutes later, I was walking away with her e-mail. I've used variations on this theme about a dozen times over the past few months. I think it's absolutely ridiculous, but it works great. I told one buddy, who has great teeth but a substantial gut about it, and he used it successfully... capping on the girl's tummy. I laugh when I think about this technique, but hey, it seems to work brilliantly.
P in Raleigh
This is FANTASTIC stuff.
I have a friend who is approaching 50 in age, and who's not exactly "dashingly handsome". He's not ugly, etc., but it's obvious that he's not a male super-model either.
One of the things he loves to do is tell women that they're probably not used to getting attention from unusually good-looking guys like himself... and they eat it up.
An average guy who's almost 50 years old walking up to a beautiful woman in her 20s, and then telling HER that she's probably not used to getting this kind of attention from attractive guys like himself. It's fantastic.
In marketing, there's a concept called "brag about your weakness". When you openly talk and joke about something like this, and even talk about it as if it were a huge strength, people love it.
Remember the old Avis slogan "Avis is only #2, so we try harder"?
Your email was great... this is good stuff.
I take the train downtown and then walk 10 minutes or so from the station to my work. I see LOTS of girls along the way, either waiting for the train on the platform, or walking on the sidewalks. What approaches would be good in this situation?
One drawback seems to be that people are always in groups, and no one is ever talking to each other. If I approach a girl, everyone is gonna hear what I say. I find that that undermines my confidence!
As a general rule, if you approach a woman who is with other people and take an "I'm interested in you, and I could care less what the hell other people think... I'm not here to please them" kind of attitude, women find this VERY attractive.
Just be very cool and matter of fact, and treat the others well. Don't try to please them or pander to them, just smile and say hi... then get on with getting the email/number of the girl you're interested in. I don't know who originally said this, but I like it: "What other people think of you is none of your business."
I bought your Advanced Series DVD program, and after watching it I now really know what I need to know to be successful with women. It sounds silly, but I didn't know what I need to learn until I watched your DVD. I'm sure there is a lot of people out there in the same situation. I don't know what could I tell them to convince them they need to buy the program. I thought I was crazy when I spent the money on your DVD, but hell, what you say there WORKS, and I really don't know how someone could learn all that without your DVDs... its almost impossible!!!.
I still have a lot to learn, but I used some of the things you said in the DVD, like using my body language to say "You don't impress me much" and so on, and it works, even without me knowing everything about body language!!!. Girls react to me much better. Sometimes they come to me without me saying anything, just with the way I looked at them, even bartenders (that happened last night). Well, what happened last night with the bartender... Hell, I didn't expect to be successful. I just couldn't believe that really cute girl came to me, started to talk to me, and even told me when she ended his work for me to go get her. Finally, I screwed it all up, because I don't have my self confidence handled the way I should yet. But its improving, and I know exactly what went wrong. I cant believe how different is the feeling of knowing "this didn't work for this reason, and I can handle it with some more work". Before your program, I would just have said "Oops, I screwed it up again, and I will next time". And what is better, all this is the outcome of just 2 weeks of using your program. I just can't imagine where I will be in 6 months :)
Now, the question: I have bought some of the books you recommended about self-confidence (from amazon.com, hope they arrive soon). Now I'm looking for some books about body language, but I cant see any in the workbook of the advanced DVD program...
A, from Spain
As far as I'm concerned, there aren't any REALLY good books on body language as it relates to ATTRACTION.
Hell, there aren't any good books on ATTRACTION either.
1) Watch James Bond movies.
2) Watch all the guys I interview in my Advanced DVD Series.
You'll learn more from WATCHING those guys live than from reading any book.
You must remember, the five guys that I interview live are all there for a VERY GOOD reason... they're all great with women.
You may not have thought of this, but you really have an amazing chance to actually see how they hold themselves, how they talk, how they gesture, etc.
dear dating guro,
i have newn this chick for 3 months and every time i ask her out she says she dosn't know me well enough. do u have any sure fire ways to get her.
I have no "sure fire" ways, but I have a couple of ideas:
1) Learn how to spell "known" and "guru".
2) Get my eBook and Advanced Dating Techniques Program.
Sounds like you need a little more help than I can give you in a paragraph.
I started getting your email about 5 months ago and bought your book about 3 months ago. all i have to say is your a genius i now feel more confident with myself toward woman. although i am still mastering your techniques it takes time but it is starting to pay off. and by the way the one thing i noticed is that i got a tattoo recently and this creates mystery to the woman. this is an excellent conversation starter because they always ask questions about it. just telling you to keep up the good work.
There are certain things that make it more likely that a woman will strike up a conversation with you...
2) Interesting piercing
3) Outrageous clothing
4) Magic tricks
5) Art or music
6) Your dog
7) Beating your dog
Now, I'd personally stick with numbers 4-6, and I might even take a few minutes and come up with some more that fit my style, if I had a mind to... (Hint, hint).
The point is that THERE ARE A LOT OF THINGS THAT WILL GET A WOMAN'S ATTENTION AND GET HER TO START THE CONVERSATION WITH YOU. Can you think of any? Hmmm...
Your ebook is great. I went on a second date the other day and I used the "is she ready for a kiss where you stroke her hair first" technique and it worked like a charm. She actually kissed me. I may have skipped over this part of the book on accident but anyways, is there a way to know if a woman has a boyfriend or not? Thanks.
D.B. Tucson, AZ
You know, with all the emails, success stories, and questions I get, I still enjoy the simple ones the most.
When a guy writes in because he just got his first number from a girl, or his first kiss, those are the ones that make me the most excited.
If you want to know if a girl has a boyfriend, the first thing to notice is whether or not she's open to flirting with you.
Girls who are "taken" and "happily taken" at that are usually less flirtatious than women who are "available".
Now, this is a generalization, and there are a lot of exceptions.
But if you ask a woman for her number, and she gives it to you, then goes out with you, then kisses you, then she's probably single.
If you REALLY want to know, just ask.
I like to look a woman directly in the eye when I'm first talking to her and say...
"Are you single?"
It's great. Most women don't expect it AT ALL in the beginning, and it says all the right things.
Most guys say things like "You probably have a boyfriend, huh?".
This is WUSSY TALK. It's the same thing that the last 100 guys have said to her, and it's lame.
When you look a woman directly in the eye and ask "Are you single?" it communicates strength.
Then you can go into the 3 minute email/number technique and get her information.
...and by the way...
If you're reading this right now, and you are in a place where you have ZERO success with women, then we need to talk.
I think that it's sometimes hard for guys who have had little or no success with women to even BELIEVE that it's possible to change, turn things around, and start dating interesting, attractive women.
Hell, it's even hard for guys who have been MARRIED for a few years and then divorced to believe that they can "get back in the game".
Well, the GOOD NEWS is that I personally believe that ANY guy can learn how to be successful with women and dating.
It's not magic... even though it seems like magic if you've never had success with women in your life.
It can be done. But you've got to take the very first step. It won't happen all by itself.
The first thing you need to do is read these newsletters three times a week.
Next, you need to go download my online eBook. It's totally risk-free. In fact, you can download it and try it now. If you don't see results, you don't have to pay for it. Really.
When you're ready to take things to the next level, you need to take advantage of some of my other programs.
I'll talk to you again soon.
P.S. If you'd like to send me a Success Story, Question, or Comment, follow these guidelines:
1) Keep it short and to the point. Two paragraphs max.
2) Tell me what's working for you before you ask your question. I appreciate all of the "Your stuff is great" and "I don't need to tell you how well your stuff works" comments, but the fact is that I DO need to hear all of the specifics... because this helps other guys to see what's working in different situations.
3) If you have a Success Story, write "Success Story" in the subject line of the email. I read these first.
4) At the end of the email, give me your initials and tell me where you're from.
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