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According to various internet statistics, there are over 50 million active subscribers to dating services…. that’s just in the U.S. alone.
If you’re single and looking, this is something you absolutely should NOT overlook.
Arguably the biggest hurdle most guys have to overcome is that very FIRST email. I get emails daily from guys asking exactly what they should put in their emails so they get read and responded to.
Because of my direct marketing background, and being a fanatical tester of what works and what doesn’t work, I’ve been able to isolate several key factors which should always be present when you’re communicating to a woman online.
More about those in a minute…
Before we get to them, let’s talk about something even more important to your success in writing compelling emails.
WHAT’S GOING ON IN HER HEAD?
The more successful you are at putting yourself in a woman’s shoes who’s using the internet to meet guys, the more successful you’ll be in getting women to respond to your emails.
The more sensitive you are to what she’s going through, the more persuasive you can be, the more rapport you can have with her, and consequently, the more she’ll trust and agree with you.
Put yourself in the shoes of a woman who’s being bombarded with emails daily from men.
When you’re trying to create that interest with a woman online, you need to create rapport, a great way is to ‘make yourself like her’.
What common interests do you share?
Was there something in her profile that caught your eye?
You shouldn’t forget that with email, people generally see it as more private/personal than your profile… people know that a profile is written for everyone to see.
When you send an email, the perception is that it should be personal, because emails typically are personal in nature. Therefore, use this to your advantage
It’s absolutely critical you write as if you’re speaking to ONLY HER. Don’t speak AT her, or TO her, speak with her.
Some keys to emails that get women to reply:
You MUST personalize every message you send out. Women have a BS detector and can smell a copy and paste email a mile away. Even if you just use her screen name 1 time, make it personal.
Talk about her profile, let her know in some way that you actually READ her profile.
Compliment her on something you find interesting about her… something you’re intrigued about. Remember the best way to get someone interested in you is to become interested in them first. I have this 2 step system I use called:
ENGAGE & EXPAND.
Rather than tell you all about it, here’s a quick example:
To ENGAGE, you can say something such as:
‘I read you’re into _____ Thats really cool.’
Then you EXPAND on it by adding:
‘I’ve always been interested in _____, how long have you been into it?’
Very simple, but VERY VERY effective.
AN INTRIGUING SUBJECT LINE
What’s the very first thing a woman sees when you send her an email?
No, it’s not your photo, no it’s not your email… it’s your subject line. What you place in that subject line is critical to your email even getting open.
The subject line should create intrique and almost force the woman to want to open it… because it’s compelling.
Women will tend to open emails if they’re more conversational in style and more personal, rather than generic.
HOW TO ENSURE YOUR EMAIL GETS READ
I always suggest looking through your own inbox and seeing the subject lines which stand out to you. Which ones capture your attention IMMEDIATELY?
In your subject lines mention something unique about her profile. For instance… If she’s into shooting pool, your subject could be something like:
‘Hey [her screen name], so you think you can shoot pool?’
WHAT DO YOU SAY FIRST?
The first sentance is arguably the part most guys have the biggest problems with. If the subject is the most important part of the email itself, then the 1st sentance is the most important part of the body.
The goal of your first sentance should be to introduce yourself and to estabilish rapport. Start by saying something you’d say to a friend.
Make sure your emails are written in a conversational style… like you’re emailing a friend of yours. You can ALWAYS tell when someone’s sending a copy and paste email…. because the email is usually very ambiguous and says nothing specific about that woman’s profile.
You have an intriguing subject line, an inviting first sentance, used some humor in the email, and now you’ve got to seal the deal.
This is where you need to insert a CTA. This stands for Call To Action. Simply put, what do you want the woman to do as a result of reading the email?
Answer that question and you have your CTA.
I have a rule with each step in my system….
Every step only has ONE CTA. This is where most guys mess things up. They give women too many options, or none at all.
Tell the woman what you want her to do next, you can say something like…
‘Read the email and get back to me…’
‘I’ll be looking for your response’
‘let’s see your answers to the questions…’
Learn more by checking out Insider Internet Dating. The number one course on the subject.
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