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How To Be Comfortable With Her Sexuality

Author: David Shade

I spoke at David DeAngelo 's "Power Sexuality" seminar in Los Angeles last summer. It was a pleasure to be an invited speaker, and it was great meeting all the guys who came to learn about gaining more sexual confidence.

In my talk at the seminar, I spoke to the audience about how to use "the welcomed method," the method of stimulating the clitoris that women find to be "out of this world."

About 2 hours later, during a break, a couple came up to me with smiles on their faces. The man said to me: "David, we have to thank you!" and the woman said: "Yes, after your talk, I told my boyfriend that we had to try that! So I pulled him up to our hotel room! And I must say, I LOVED it! Thank you so much!"

That's the kind of stuff that just makes my day.

I enjoyed speaking at the seminar about having the empowering beliefs that make you comfortable and confident with sexuality.

I'm all about people being comfortable and confident about sexuality. And about seeing to it that women receive Wild Screaming Orgasms.

Have you seen the movie "The 40 Year Old Virgin?" That guy's entire problem was the he was not comfortable with a woman's sexuality. Pure and simple.

Even when the signals were clear that a woman was interested in him, he clamed up. Especially when the signals were very blatant and obvious.

Now certainly a woman who is blatantly obvious is not going to appear as attractive, because she would appear as being needy or slutty (and woman are acutely aware of this, which is why they don't do it.)

Most women put out subtle little hints. They expect that the man will pick up on the hints and take the initiate to escalate things appropriately to sex.

It may come as a surprise to some, but in actuality, women are highly sexual creatures; much more so than men. I discuss this at length in my program "The Secrets of Female Sexuality."

But women are sexually submissive. That means that she will not 'initiate' sex. And thus, she can only have sex when her man takes the initiative.

But some men are unable to take the initiative because they have self defeating beliefs that stop them.

Why is that? There is nothing 'wrong' with sex. It is a normal healthy human activity (within the context of consent, and all that, of course.)

All of us were born sexual creatures. Everything about us is such that we may mature and procreate. And we are made such that it is all pleasurable and fulfilling.

But for some of us, somewhere along the line, something went very wrong. Shame, guilt, self consciousness, or self doubt set in, and anything about sexuality became something very uncomfortable.

Which bring us to our first email...



You say that women want to be "slvtty" in the bedroom and really "let go." I'm all for that! I really want to "be the man" and be in control and talk dirty to my girlfriend, but I hesitate and bungle it because I think she's going to take it wrong or be offended or feel like an object.

I really want her to enjoy the sex and I really want to be good in the bedroom.


From your email, it is obvious that you are already bought into the concept that she would enjoy it. You already understand that women respond powerfully to a man who is "in control." You already understand that it allows her to "let go" and get "slvtty."

All very true.

But even though you KNOW it's true and you are in complete logical agreement with the facts, you don't do it.

What a shame. You're missing out on all that is possible.

And it's all because of your own hindering beliefs. You think you would not be treating her with respect. You think it would be disrespectful.

As you recall, I talk at great length about respect. Everything can be measured against the word respect. But it has to be from the correct perspective.

Look at it this way...

In the living room, you treat her like a lady. Also said as: You treat her "with respect." All very good, and very important (at least for the high self esteem women.)

But in the bedroom, have RESPECT for the fact that she
is a highly sexual creature that WANTS to get SLVTTY! Also very true (especially for the high self esteem women.)

RESPECT that about her. Have respect for her desires.

Let me bring your attention to one phenomenon that will change your entire outlook on being "in control" in the bedroom:

During heightened sexual arousal EVERYTHING you say is taken in a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT context

Live by those words.

What that means is that when she is feeling very sexual and highly aroused, things that may otherwise sound very disrespectful, will NOT be taken as disrespectful. In fact, they will actually INCREASE her excitement.

But you have to do it with absolute conviction. if you don't, the dirty talk will crash and burn.

To do it with absolute conviction, you have to be comfortable with the fact that she is a highly sexual creature. And to be able to do that, you need to be comfortable with sexuality.


If women like sex so much, as you say they do, then why do they have such " shields?"

I am tall, muscular, good looking, well dressed, and well groomed, but it seems like women are somewhat defensive when I approach them.

I don't mind taking risks and I can approach women, but it's just the frustration of trying to get through the " shield" is what gets to me. If women want sex so badly, why do they put up so much resistance to your approaches? I don't come off like a horndog or anything,

I ask them general questions to build rapport, and tell stories about myself, but it doesn't seem to capture their attention.


I do not teach pick up, or approaching, or whatever. That is fully covered in other places.

But I will speak to the beliefs involved in your email.

I have a motto:

"No matter how hard the shell, they all have a soft chewy center."

Which means: Each of those ladies at some point are going to melt like butter under the hand of a man who knows how to lead.

Go into any bar on a Friday night. There are two nicely dressed women sitting at the bar sipping cocktails as they talk to each other. What do you see?

Do you see two women ready to shoot you down?

Look at the reality of the situation. If they wanted to talk to each other without interruption, they could have done that in their bathrobes at the kitchen table. But no, they spent two hours getting ready so they could look good so they could attract men. Why? Because they want to have an exciting relationship full of exciting sex.

If you investigate further, you will probably find that one of the women is already in a fulfilling relationship, but the single one had to beg her to go out so that the single one could meet a man. They know exactly why they're there.

Work on your pick up skills, but it's not going to do any good until you get your beliefs right.

To learn the TRUTH behind female sexuality, and how
women REALLY work, see my e-book "The Secrets Of Female Sexuality"

For more about proper beliefs, and being comfortable with sexuality, and more awesome sexual techniques, see my foundation level program called "Give Women Wild Screaming Orgams: Sexual Confidence and Sexual Techniques To Give Women Incredible Pleasure."

And to learn the proper effective way to use sexy dirty
talk, see my Audio CDs

Wherein you will also learn my recipe for starting a
relationship that is highly charged with exciting sex.

When I receive your question, you will receive an invitation to a free upcoming teleseminar, where I will address all the questions. Plus, you will receive a link to listen to my most recent teleseminar. And if your question is on-topic, I will personally answer your question in email.

And I love to hear success stories too. I want to hear all the per.verted dem.ented things that you and your woman have experienced together. Those stories always get a personal response.

Give women incredible pleasure,

David Shade

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