Here are questions from three more women on my list.
***EMAIL from Kristie:
Is there a Masterful-Lover reference for women? I would love to learn about ways women can bring out the Masterful-Lover in their men.
If a woman has to bring out the Masterful-Lover in her man, then he wouldn't be a Masterful-Lover.
Part of being a Masterful-Lover is that the man takes the initiative and takes the lead and brings out the sensual creature in his woman.
So, to answer your question, CHOOSE WISELY!
***EMAIL from Karen:
My question, or comment, is that I have been dating this man for 5 years and I have never had an orgasm with him, nor have I with any other man, or with my ex husband. I have faked every single orgasm that I have ever had with a man. And not because I am a cruel person, quite the opposite, I just don't want to hurt their feelings.
Now don't start feeling sorry for me and thinking I have NEVER experience and orgasm, because I have experienced many incredible orgasms, but all through masturbation by myself, and all involved a vibrator.
I guess I do have a question, and that would be: is there a way for me to achieve these same wonderful orgasms when I am with a man? Please don't tell me to be honest with this man now after 5 years because I know him and it would bruise his ego for life.
In answer to your first question to me, no I was not close to my father as a child. I remember my father as always working. Unfortunately I didn't become close to my father until well into adulthood, and sadly he passed away a few years ago.
In answer to your second question, I was never sexually abused, but I was definitely emotionally abused and also physically abused by my ex-husband.
The relationship between a little girl and her father builds the girl's self esteem and her ability to be emotionally close to a man. That window of opportunity was not there for you.
Such women often find themselves with worthless men of low self esteem. Such women sometimes allow themselves to be abused, to a breaking point.
Since you were emotionally and physically abused by your ex-husband, you find it hard to trust a man. If you cannot trust a man, you cannot surrender to him. If you are incapable of emotional intimacy, you cannot become close to him. And thus, you probably won't orgasm with him.
And you are continually strengthening your dependency on aggressive vibrator stimulation.
And now you have found yourself in a situation where you can't even take the honest route to fix it.
What a tangled web we weave, when we practice to deceive.
Karen, as difficult as it is, you need to see a therapist in person who can help you with your trust issues. And you absolutely must make the decision to stop deceiving and start being honest about the situation you find yourself in.
Do not assume the victim mentality. Assume responsibility for what your future will be.
From here on out, CHOOSE WISELY. And be honest with men and with yourself.
***EMAIL from Mary:
I received your newsletter in which one of the questions about a threesome was addressed. My boyfriend of several years (or should I say "friend with benefits") has been trying to get me to have a threesome for quite sometime... a FMF threesome, and it has been the source of some very sexy sensual conversation for us.
I have to admit that it peaks my interest very very much and I feel there is just enough bi-curiousness in me that with enough courage and encouragement someday I may just follow through with it and the talk may turn to reality. But there is something holding me back, and I think I finally figured out what it is.
I think it is the fact that this man just doesn't treat me with the respect that I feel that I deserve, nor does he give me the time physically and emotionally that I feel that I deserve. So therefore I am feeling... "Why should I?"
If I am going to enter into something which I feel is this serious (because for me it would be) it is going to be with someone that respects me and has my total respect. This may be something that you might want to address in one of your future newsletters. It may be of interest to a lot of men, because I certainly know this to be a major fantasy for a lot of men out there.
Thanks for your time David.
Of course you deserve to be treated with respect. You have heard me talk at length about respect. It is the basis for anything meaningful.
But you have also heard me talk about how you must always respect yourself, which means that you do not associate with people who do not treat YOU with respect.
Ok, that was the short answer. Now for the more in depth discussion.
What concerns me is that you continue to see him even though he does not treat you with respect. Even in a FB arrangement, both people can and should treat each other with respect.
And you ask that he give you the time physically and emotionally that you feel you deserve. Those things are possible in a FB arrangement, but they are more typical of a "relationship."
And then you say you have been seeing him for several years. That's a long time for a FB arrangement.
You called him your "boyfriend" and then your "friend with benefits."
Something tells me that HE thinks it's an FB arrangement and is milking it for all he can, but you are holding out and hoping for more. You are being self deceiving on that point.
Dump his ass and go out there and CHOOSE WISELY! Find someone who you are going to have lots of fun having threesomes with.
But your email does illustrate that there are women out there with just enough "bi-curiousness" to discuss the eventuality of engaging in Threesomes. For those of you who want to know the CORRECT way of going about it, whether you are in a "relationship" or an FB arrangement, or just met her, check out my program on Threesomes.
In my next newsletter, I show you how I use to make my fantasies become my girlfriend's fantasies!
Very covert stuff!
Give women incredible pleasure,
David "Dump His Sorry Ass!" Shade
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