Some men have absolutely NO sense of etiquette when they’re trying to contact women online. During all my years of coaching, women have told me some amazing things men have written to them in emails.
Many men feel they can just say anything in an email when they are trying to get a woman to go out with them. If they said those same things to a woman in a bar or on the street, they might get arrested, or at least slapped. But when they’re hiding behind the secrecy of their computer, too many men get abrasive and crude.
Here’s my list of 10 things NEVER to do when you’re online trying to get a woman to go out with you. Some of these are obvious; some you’ll swear I’m making up! But all of them are things men actually do.
Top 10 email turnoffs for women
- Don’t ask her how much she weighs or what her measurements are. You might as well just tell her you only want to sleep with her and you have no interest in getting to know her, because that’s what she’s going to think if you ask her this.
- Don’t email her seven times asking her why she hasn’t responded to your first email. Women get far more email than men do, so you need to be patient. Instead of harassing her, relax and be confident that she’s going to respond to you.
- Don’t ask her how many other dates she’s been on from Yahoo! Personals. How many other dates someone has been on is not important. What is important is finding out whether the two of you click when you hang out.
- Don’t send her a nasty email if she hasn’t responded to you after several emails. It’s her prerogative whether or not she desires to be in contact with you. If she doesn’t want to meet you, why get angry and nasty? There are plenty of other women out there who you can contact.
- Don’t ask her if she wants to have sex with you on the second email exchange, and don’t send her dirty pictures of you. Women are all about connecting with their minds. Just because you’re looking for a quick fling, that doesn’t mean she’s going to respond.
- If she gives you her phone number, don’t wait a week to call her. By extension, if you do wait a week to call her and she doesn’t call you back, don’t be shocked. Women have many options online. If she gives you her phone number, I suggest calling her that day. It keeps the momentum going.
- When asking for more pictures, do so without any references to “Can you please send me a picture so I can see your body?” Ask her if she’d like to exchange more pictures, which means you send some and she sends some. Several women have complained to me that men ask them to send pictures of themselves in bikinis or other such things, so that men can see their body. Men, don’t do this!
- Don’t get offended if she doesn’t want to talk to you on the phone right away and/or wants to talk to you via email first to get to know you. You need to be flexible and open to her suggestions. Sometimes you may need to email back and forth for a week, and sometimes she’ll give you her phone number right away. Either way, don’t be rude.
- Do not email-stalk her. Many of my women clients have complained to me about men who will email them several times a day for three weeks, until they are forced to block emails from those men. Men, she got your email the very first time. She just may have chosen not to open it. By sending emails several times a day, not only are you turning her off, you’re freaking her out! You’ve become an online stalker. That’s a guarantee she’ll never go out with you.
- Don’t send cut-and-paste emails. When connecting with her for the very first time, don’t cut and paste an email message in July that you’ve been sending out for six months with a tagline that says, “I love the holidays.” By doing that, she knows you didn’t read her profile – and that you’re really, really lazy!
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