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Derek,
I purchased the Seduction Science System about three weeks ago. Going over the material I'm reading something between the lines with regard to "chemistry" and want to run that by you to see if I've got the right idea. Also, I would like your advice for a situation that has developed with a woman recently.

I'll address the conceptual part first. One thing I have got from women in the past is that they look for "chemistry". I've got my foot in the door in the past with some women but found myself struggling to build any momentum, with rejection being the end result. Reading through Seduction Science has me seeing chemistry as subconscious feelings and emotions that are positive (sexual or otherwise). My thinking is that women key in on these feelings and emotions (unaware that they're doing so even)and perceive chemistry and leave it at that. Either there's chemistry with a guy or they're off to the next one. My perspective is that Seduction Science provides the concepts and tools to appeal to a woman at a subconcious level and elicit a "chemistry" response, thus opening the door to intimacy. Am I on the right track here?

On to my dilema! A couple of days after getting Seduction Science I was caught off guard by a woman and want some advice. I'll give some background first. I'm 32 and have a degree in engineering. She is 37 and has a graduate degree in engineering (really smart), is open-minded, mature and attractive. We were in the same department at work and met there. Early on (after working there for a few months) I found out that she was involved with a guy from another department who was the person that hired me. For awhile she was even my boss. Given these aspects I wasn't about to go after her. We got along great and have things in common. As time went on I heard that her relationship had waned a few times. Then in November 2002 the company downsized and I was layed-off. I decided to go back to school and work on a masters. She made it through the lay-off. After the lay-off I gave her my home email address and we've kept in touch. Periodically a bunch of us (some who were layed-off and some still with the company) get together for lunch. Now things start to get interesting. Since our only face-to-face contact was at these lunches with all these other people around, I subtley introduced the idea of us getting together by offering to help her with a home improvement project. Definately a blunder, I should have went after her like a linebacker on a blitz. She said she was going to wait on the project until Spring or Summer. I approached this with a positive attitude and decided I would continue to probe for opportunities to spend time with her. At this time I get really busy at school and outside of school and wind up seeing 3am all to often for quite a few weeks in a row. During this time she has to spend a couple of weeks in Korea on buisiness. I was so busy I didn't email her for the whole two weeks and didn't stop to think she was probably checking her email from abroad. I knew the week she was returning and began sending her emails promptly. I was able to get another lunch scheduled with her and three guys I knew well that still worked at the company. This lunch wound up being just a few days after I ordered Seduction Science so I wasn't well prepared for what happened. She was the last to show up and initially went to the opposite side of the table then said that she would like to sit next to me since she doesn't get to see me that often. She then makes a sort of dejected comment about me not emailing her for two weeks and sits down next to me. We all order and converse. I get a lot of eye contact with her. Then, during the conversation she puts her hand on my leg casually. She asks me some questions and as I answer we lock eyes all the while her hand is on my leg. While gazing into each others eyes I continue to answer a question with my speech basically running on autopilot as I drink in the look she's giving me. A look which I can only decribe as an "intimate moment" look. Totally tranced me out! After I finish answering the question we hold our gaze until uncomfortable silence sets in and I turn to the table and continue conversation. She left her hand on my leg for a little while longer and then removed it when the waiter brought something. Eye contact was strong throughout the meal. At the end we all make our way to the parking lot. It was Thursday and I had a ton of work to do for the weekend and I told her this. I bring up the idea of having lunch next week with a mutual friend who worked with her and I that couldn't make it that day. As she leaves she says to call her and I say I'll email her. OK an even larger blunder! I was so thrown off guard and in disbelief of the experience(got some work to do here).Before the lunch I thought she might be curious and I didn't at all expect something that bold. So I work(school related) Friday through the weekend till the am hours on Sunday. Monday I email her about the lunch. She replies that she will check with our mutual friend on a good day/time and asks me what I'm going to do with my time off on spring break. I respond by saying that I plan to find out which of two italian restaurants she prefers and to have dinner with her. Her response (Wednsday by now) is that her schedule conflicts with our mutual friends and that we should try for lunch the next week and adds that "we can talk about the dinner too:)" After this I think I might have a fighting chance. I call her on Thursday night and get her answering machine and leave a message to call me to talk about the dinner. It's been about a week and a half since then and she hasn't returned my call. We've just exchanged a couple of emails about the lunch which couldn't happen because our mutual friend was out of town. Now I'm wondering what I should do. If a woman really shows interest then makes herself inaccessible (not calling back) what is she really saying? What is the best way to deal with this? I've definitely fumbled here! So I want to make a solid attempt at recovering and what will be will be. At the least it will be a good learning experience.

Joe

==

As far as "chemistry", forget about the idea of chemistry - that's a mystical, unscientific term will just fuck you up. Think in terms of rapport that you should get rapport with a woman. Elicit rapport with a woman and you've got her.

You definately got rapport with this woman she gave you major green lights. You should have taken her number and CALLED her, as you obviously pointed out you should have done so you really fucked up there. YOU MUST ALWAYS STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT.

Also, stop emailing her. That looks pussy to a woman after a while. It's okay at first, but get into calling.

At this point, you should give her another call. She LIKES you and you shoudn't worry to much if she didn't return your call. She's just playing a little hard to get. Just don't get hypnotized by this "hard to get" game. Notice how when you didn't email her for 2 weeks she really started to go after you? That's scarcity and people want what is a challenge - they want what they can't get. On a subconscious level she knows that not calling you back makes her more valuable to her. Just don't turn into a puddle of jello over it.

So give her another call, and transition out of email. Also, don't make the date too complicated or too much like a "date". Make it a simple, no brainer, no big deal, you just want to get together and talk more. You may even invite her over and cook her a little something at your place. Again, think in terms of rapport.


Regards,

Derek Vitalio

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