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The Madonna Whore complex is basically this: a woman is either asexually pure, a good girl, a respectable girl who you put her up on a pedestal, or a woman is sexually loose, wild and crazy and not long-term relationship material.

Now, if you have a special woman in your life like a girlfriend or a wife, and if she’s someone you love and respect, you’re naturally going to on some level treat her like a Madonna. On some level you’re going to treat her as sexually sacred. On some level you’re going to sweep under the rug that part of her that has wild sexual desires and fantasies and sex is something taboo to talk about and explore with her.

And being your love, often she’s just not the kind of woman you have wild, passionate, erotic sex with. You don’t ravish her like you would a one night fling. You don’t ravish her like you would a coworker you have an illicit affair with.

And often because we treat our woman like a Madonna, we feel uncomfortable using crude sexual language with her, like saying “fuck” or “cunt” or “cock” in sex, even if we get excited ourselves when we watch an adult film starring a woman who uses these words.

And when you treat the woman you love as a Madonna, she too will learn to suppress her sexual longings under the illusion that that’s what you wanted or because of a guilty, unconscious belief that she isn’t supposed to feel wild or feel ruthless sexual desire in her role as a good girlfriend or wife or mother. She suppresses her sexual urges because of her belief that you can’t handle her desires and would either become hurt or reject her if you knew about them.

So keep reading on to learn more about ending the madonna whore complex.


Derek Vitalio

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