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When I began my journey to become better around beautiful women, I didn’t know what to say when approaching women I didn’t know (i.e. doing a “cold approach”). Now that I’ve been at it for over five years, I’m at the point where I’m quite comfortable around beautiful women, and rarely have trouble thinking about what to say.
This “what to say” issue is less of a problem when it comes to warm approaches. A warm approach is when you meet a woman that is part of your social circle. A friend might introduce you, or she may even introduce herself to you. One advantage of warm approaches is that you don’t have to convince her that you’re normal, safe, and not creepy. Being in the same social circle provides an immediate basic comfort level.
There is also less attraction work for you to do, since good status within the social circle already gives you social value. This is opposed to cold approach, where you have to build your social value from scratch.
For years, dating experts have talked about these two kinds of approaches – cold and warm. I think this needs to be expanded. Lately, I have been working on a way to warm up cold approaches to improve my success rate. I’ve dubbed this the “lukewarm approach”.
If a beautiful woman and I are static, or walking past each other slowly, I will engage in eye contact and make it clear that her beauty moves me. I will maintain eye contact a little longer than is typically polite for a stranger to look at another person.
Then I will judge her reaction to see if she is open to an approach. If she looks back and smiles, stares straight back at me, or looks down a little bit and smiles, then I will approach. Basically, I am looking for any sign that she is pleased with me checking her out. A bad sign is when she looks up and away, almost rolling her eyes.
This way I can screen better – if I don’t get a good reaction I’m less likely to approach. Only if she is absolutely gorgeous, or if I’m looking for a challenge will I approach. When I get a good reaction though, I always approach
Not everyone is single. This way I can filter out women that want to be approached. I waste less time speaking to women with boyfriends.
This technique can be used in all situations, but I particularly like to do this in cafés, since it’s a quiet setting. Next time you’re in a café and spot a beautiful woman, give it a try!
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