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NightVision - This is part of Wayne Elise "Juggler" response of one of his students question on building attraction and explains why we should be using SOIs (Statement of Interest) in our interactions with women.
The dynamic I setup is having the girl chase me. So it seems as if you could use SOI to the same effectiveness as I have. But who knows… there are many subtleties. At some point you are going to have to SOI. If you try to take her clothes off, that is an SOI. You may be trying to avoid all risk until the last moment. I’m sure you have had success with setting the mood, kinoing the girls and then building it up into sex. That can work. But your life will get much easier if you can figure out how to incorporate SOI into your game.
Remember that SOIs are delivered ONLY after she is demonstrating that she is interested. Or, if you were using my system, after you had forced IOIs.
The difference between an SOI and a close is that the SOI talks about what you are going to do with her. The close is simply the accounting details of making it happen - numbers or driving situations, etc. The close should be almost an after thought.
For a better understanding of an SOI let’s look at the approach. You can call the approach a type of SOI. The mere fact that you are coming to talk to her is letting her know you are interested. That is why you can not sneak in. Guys continually come up with gimmicks to try to get in risk-free. Problem is, a hot girl has been hit on since she was thirteen. She can see this coming a mile away. She may or may not shoot such a guy down, she may even talk with him for awhile but she will not respond to him like she does a confident guy who comes in unafraid of a risk. Girls don’t understand a lot about what really works on them but they are right when they say they want a bold confident man.
Demonstrate this to her. And ironically, if you come in arrogantly exposed to fire you will be less likely to be shot.
Well an SOI works similarly. You demonstrate you are unafraid to tell her straight out what you can do for her sexually. Most guys don’t do that. They are timid. They try to sneak her into bed. They hope that rapport or kino will be enough. Well some times it is, but many times it is not - you have to put the picture in her mind.
You have to get over the avoidance of risk. Instead court risk. She needs to see that you can work around her anti-slut protocol. She WANTS to have sex with you.
You feel that her saying NO is a bad precedent. I understand where you are coming from. But remember that the mind can not hold a negative thought. If I tell you to not imagine a Volkswagon beetle, you can not help but imagine a funny bug looking car. As far as her imagination, her NO is not anywhere near as powerful as your suggestive SOI.
Also, you are presuming that you are creating a NO. The fact is that the NO is there right from the beginning. You just can’t see it. That is where many guys get in trouble. They have done a good job of attracting her. Now they hope the work is over and try to extract her. But they never did what was necessary to find out if they had attracted her enough.
But if you are still wanting to avoid NOs then do the other things I suggested and don’t give her the chance by either doing a take away or talking past the objection.
A proper SOI does three things:
- It gets her thinking about sex with you.
- It let’s her see that you are bold and candid enough to take her all the way.
- It tells you if you have done a good enough job in the attraction phase of your seduction.
The stuff you mentioned is good. I can see it getting her hot but I think you will see a several fold difference when she begins to imagine you and her in the same picture.
Check out How to Meet and Connect with Women - it contains the philosophy that I have worked years to learn and refine:
- The Interesting/Interested model of interaction.
- Rapport and Vibing: You know, that thing that is 95% of your conversation.
- EXACTLY how to approach. Body language. How to ask questions.
- The difference between sexual obsession and sexual interest.
- Being the Alpha Buddha and giving away your approval.
- Simple things you need to know to keep a conversation moving.
- Statements of Intent: When to put your hand on the table.
- Making presumptions: Have high expectations for everyone you meet.
- Finding comfort and presence in silence.
- Moving towards intimacy and closing.
Also download my free 32 page interview pdf where I give insights into inner and outer game.
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