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The great thing about SOIs is that they can put you in a frame where the girl and you are talking about the two of you having sex. She can not do this without imagining having sex with you.
A good SOI is really a sensually painted picture of the two of you doing pleasurable physical things to each other. Work on making the picture enticing.
Even if she turns the SOI down, she will still have to vision what you are talking about. That in and of itself is a good thing.
An SOI does show value. It says you can talk about sex candidly. Thus you must be a man who seduces many women. Ironically, showing an ability to candidly and smoothly SOI can make a girl more likely to chase you.
You can SOI without chasing her. The first SOI I usually use is very light and is half SOI and half hoop for her to jump through. For instance, “If I were to kiss you, on a scale from 1-10 how would I rate your kiss?”
SOIs can be very valuable in getting her to bed quickly. Figure out how to incorporate SOI into your game and you will notice a huge improvement in getting girls into bed fast.
Also, keep in mind an SOI should only be used after you have attracted the girl. So in a sense, she is SOI-ing you already.
You can also reverse SOI: “I am not the kind of guy who would just take a woman home the first night I met her and give her a night of pleasure and continuous orgasms. I’m not that easy. Well, at least you have to buy me a couple of drinks first.”
The best way to SOI is just get into talking about kissing and then turn up the heat from there.
Many girls will reject an SOI. They have to because they do not want to come across as sluts. The key here is to never give them the chance to do that and or not take their rejection seriously. If you have any hint that she may reject you can just keep going right past the SOI: “I have a bottle of whipped cream in the fridge. You should come home with me and help me finish it off. Hey doesn’t that girl over there look like Julia Roberts?”
Or you can do a take away: “Let’s go back to my place and massage lotion into each other’s skin.” (This is where you watch her reaction. If she is going to reject the SOI you do a take away.) “No wait. You are pretty tall. Forget it. I don’t have enough for you.”
So you see, she has to picture the SOI in her mind, even though you pulled it away.
And if you give her the chance to reject an SOI, and she does, then just laugh.
This is good because it shows that you will not take her rejection of your advances seriously. This works because she knows she has to shoot down the SOI so she doesn’t look like a slut. But she really wants to go home with you or may later after you make her really horny with more SOIs. She just needs to get her protest on the record but does not want you to actually stop under this ‘technical rejection’. When you laugh, it is like a wink - shows that you understand her rejection has to be there for the record. Make sense?
Many guys seem to have trouble using SOIs because they feel incongruent with themselves. Using an SOI seems like introducing a huge state change. But when a guy is unwilling to do this the interaction is probably messed up already. He was probably not bold at the approach. To really make an impact on a girl and get her wanting you deeply that night you have to demonstrate that you are a man who will boldly make state changes. This is real confidence. You need to show from beginning to end that you have what it takes to introduce state changes. And show that once you move her to a new state, you can keep her there and make it enjoyable. Thus she understands that you can get her into bed (a state change) resolutely and smoothly and it will be a pleasurable experience - you have established a good track record.
Guys get rapport with a girl and use good material and then they wonder why they can’t close the deal and get the girl into bed. This is usually because they have been unwilling from the very start to make dramatic state changes. That is why you should never look for ways to ease into an approach with a girl. A gimmick or trick to get a girl talking with you may indeed start a long conversation but it will hurt you when trying to close the deal. You need to be bold from beginning to end and make many dramatic state changes throughout. You sort of have to be congruently incongruent. Then the SOI is in character. Then the SOI will be eventually accepted.
That brings me to another point. All it takes for a girl to accept an SOI is not to reject it. She is very unlikely to say, “Yes, let’s go do that”. That is one reason why SOIs should rarely be phrased as questions. If you do this you are pretty much negating any chance for her to accept the SOI. Instead make statements: “We should go back to my house and watch the cat do back flips while you give me a massage.” That’s it. If she says nothing then you are in. You should presume she is coming home with you.
If she doesn’t accept an SOI you should return to chatting about whatever, then after a minute SOI again. Keep this pattern up and if you make your SOIs creatively seductive enough and make it clear you are want to give her pleasure then she will get real horny and eventually accept one.
One other thing, after she accepts the SOI and you take her home you may have to repeatedly SOI until you are actually having sex with her.
Also, you may find it helpful to agree when she tells you that she is not the type of girl to sleep with someone the night she met him. Keep nodding on this account. This is another ‘on record rejection’ which saves her face while you are seducing body ‘off record’. Never fight her rejections of an SOI. Just consider them for book keeping sake only.
Check out How to Meet and Connect with Women - it contains the philosophy that I have worked years to learn and refine:
- The Interesting/Interested model of interaction.
- Rapport and Vibing: You know, that thing that is 95% of your conversation.
- EXACTLY how to approach. Body language. How to ask questions.
- The difference between sexual obsession and sexual interest.
- Being the Alpha Buddha and giving away your approval.
- Simple things you need to know to keep a conversation moving.
- Statements of Intent: When to put your hand on the table.
- Making presumptions: Have high expectations for everyone you meet.
- Finding comfort and presence in silence.
- Moving towards intimacy and closing.
Also download my free 32 page interview pdf where I give insights into inner and outer game.
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