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Zen And Compliments

Author: Wayne Elise "Juggler"

Conventional wisdom in the seduction community is that a woman who cannot accept a compliment has low self esteem. I think there is some truth in that but a lot of delusion as well. The big reason a woman you have just met does not accept your compliment is that to do so is to accept you as an authority in their life. It is to accept you. She is not ready to do that yet. To put her in that position is to ask her to approve of you. This is a form of neediness.

Yet simply giving a compliment is not needy. It is only needy if you are trying to buy her approval of you with your approval of her. Follow?

A typical bit of interaction may go like this:

Guy: "You have lovely hands."

Girl: "Oh, they're just regular hands."

Guy looks hurt that she dismissed his compliment. He expected her to be wooed by it. Girl senses this and realizes he had an agenda that just went awry.

Compare this to being a guy who just has a positive view and is a person who likes to give people approval and who is not using it as a tool. He does not need someone to react in a specific way. He can roll with it.

Guy: "You have lovely hands."

Girl: "Oh, they're just regular hands."

Guy: "Ha, ha, ha. Yeah, I can see you busting rocks with these. Ha, ha."

Or our guy does not give them a chance to deny his compliment. He dosen't wait for a response.

Guy: "Wow, you have lovely hands. Pass the salt and pepper please."

Expect that most people will deny. Or yell at them for not being proud. Or whatever. Just don't look forlorn. Don't try to buy her approval with compliments. Just be a guy who shows the world approval.

Why give compliments at all?

Because they keep you in a mind frame of appreciation. You cannot be in your head when you are thinking about other people. They keep you positive. They lubricate many of your social interactions. People crave appreciation, even if outwardly they deny it. And approval is a gateway to creating sexual tension - more on that later.

Check out How to Meet and Connect with Women - it contains the philosophy that I have worked years to learn and refine:

  • The Interesting/Interested model of interaction.
  • Rapport and Vibing: You know, that thing that is 95% of your conversation.
  • EXACTLY how to approach. Body language. How to ask questions.
  • The difference between sexual obsession and sexual interest.
  • Being the Alpha Buddha and giving away your approval.
  • Simple things you need to know to keep a conversation moving.
  • Statements of Intent: When to put your hand on the table.
  • Making presumptions: Have high expectations for everyone you meet.
  • Finding comfort and presence in silence.
  • Moving towards intimacy and closing.

Also download my free 32 page interview pdf where I give insights into inner and outer game.

Wayne Elise "Juggler"

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