The reality is there are really TWO levels to this whole thing called “being successful with women”. There is the base level understanding that is important, that includes basic important stuff like not supplicating, knowing how to have an interesting conversation, having a basic sense of humor, learning to be comfortable with a woman, etc.
Thing is, I can teach all that stuff to a guy in one hour. It’s really not that hard, that stuff. And just with that stuff alone, a guy will be able to get some basic level success.
That doesn’t mean that even with that stuff, it doesn’t take practice. It’s a PROCESS, a skill, that you get better and better with throughout your life with practice.
But the thing is, to me, it’s the more advanced stuff, that is actually FASCINATING. I ENJOY taking this stuff as FAR AS IT CAN GO. To me, attraction and emotion are INCREDIBLY super fascinating things, to experience and to allow others to experience, especially in a positive way that is healthy.
I’m talking about interactions that go way beyond just being “DECENTLY” effective. And I’m talking about creating this massive impact DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY, not just for the “pick up”, because your attraction power is only as strong as she is feeling it at any given MOMENT.
This is not to say to get all bent out of shape or nervous about it, it’s just to say that if you want to be successful with a woman or women long term, you have to know how to keep the attraction going day after day.
And the GREATEST thing is that all this can be done in a way that is a BYPRODUCT of WHO YOU ARE, instead of you having to get all weird, nervous and desperate and trying to “entertain” a woman constantly. It’s not about that at all.
The first thing to understand for success is that you must have TOTAL CONVICTION IN WHAT YOU SAY AND DO.
The LACK of this total conviction is one of the biggest problems that guys aren’t even aware of when they try to do a pick up.
You see, when you interact with a woman, tons of subtle things become apparent about your emotional state, which will subconsciously be interpreted by her and to a significant extent she will instinctively FEEL a certain way about you based on these things.
When you open up a conversation with a woman, EVERY WORD YOU SAY, EVERY THING YOU DO, MUST BE SAID AND DONE WITH TOTAL CONVICTION.
So many guys, as they attempt to run their pick-up, they think that what they are doing and saying is “stupid”, or that the whole thing is silly, and this SHOWS in their body language and tonality.
They have LACK OF CONVICTION in what they are doing..
The guy is afraid of doing his pickup properly, because he thinks the whole thing is “stupid”, so what he does he ACTUALLY INTENTIONALLY ACTS LIKE A DORK, as if to say to the woman, “This is stupid, and I know it, so you can’t make fun of me for doing it since I’m OBVIOUSLY AWARE THAT IT IS STUPID.”
Basically, it’s an insecure mentality, that assumes the worst about yourself. It makes a guy look like he believes he couldn’t possibly pull off a proper pick up, as if he is just not worthy enough, not cool enough, not interesting enough, not desirable enough, etc. And the irony is, THAT is the message the guy is giving her with total conviction, so she then FEELS that he is a dork, unworthy, etc.
And the thing to remember, is that this conviction stuff applies to EVERYTHING, not just to your body language or what you say.
It applies, for example, to your clothing, your style, the way you present yourself, the way you react and act, the way you THINK.
It all starts in the MIND.
Style, clothing, and accessories are simply AN EXTENSION OF YOUR PSYCHOLOGY AND YOUR STATE OF MIND.
And one affects the other.
So if you wear clothing that says “ho-hum and please don’t look at me” or if you wear clothing that says “OH MY GOSH I NEED YOU to look at me” in both cases that’s a reflection of yourself. And not the most attractive reflection.
And you will start to feel the same way about yourself as the message you are giving off through what you wear, which reinforces the habit of wearing that stuff, which reinforces the habit of FEELING that way, in a never ending cycle.
But it works for the positive as well:
If you DO feel, for example, that you are intriguing, if you are fascinated by the intriguing and the mysterious, you might very well choose styles that YOU find intriguing.
And don’t forget, you don’t have to be put into one “slot”, you can have a myriad of awesome and interesting states of mind and the styles to match those with total congruency.
You see, this is why you don’t have to be FAKE.
Attractive forces have INFINITE expressions, just like art has infinite expressions, although there are certain principles, certain patterns that are always present in any powerful attractive force or element.
But if you don’t FEEL that you HAVE any of the attractive forces or emotions in you right now, then you are going to have to REACQUIRE them.
They ARE in you, and if you don’t feel you have them, it’s just because they have been buried under the weight of tons of negative forces.
Whether it was because you watched too much feminist bullshit television programs, such as Sex and The City, where the reality is that they needed to call an actual heterosexual male writer to help out because one of the main writers of the show was gay! So that already tells you that the show was not only not even accurate to how women feel about men, but also that it may very well have been some guy who HATES heterosexual men who was writing the show.
I could go on and on about this, but let me just state that half the reason guys lose their “mojo” is all the bullshit they read or watch that robs them of their self-esteem, some of the info unfortunately comes from magazines and shows aimed at supposedly helping men! The idea is to get men feeling insecure so they feel they need to watch the show or read the magazine to make sure they are doing the right thing, and usually
the ridiculous advice is things like get a tan, know the best restaurants to take a woman to, etc. Bullshit like that, stuff that totally ignores the REAL issue of the kind of aura that YOU yourself have.
Also, even if you DO read a statistic about why you shouldn't be or can't be successful with women, you have to ask yourself a question: Are you going to BE a statistic?
The reason I say this is because for every guy that finds the reason why he can't succeed, I'll find a guy with the same situation who DOES succeed because he MAKES UP FOR IT in other ways. The bottom line is that for a guy there's no excuse, because there are many ways for a guy to be attractive to a woman, and any "weakness" he may have can be made up for by excelling in the many other areas of his game.
Also, sometimes, as guys, we had horrific childhoods that robbed us of our “inner game”.
It can be an ongoing process to SALVAGE all that good stuff from underneath years of layers of negative programming, and it can be a process to also get re-educated to learn the truth about women and attraction after being exposed to so much FALSE information about this topic.
But that good stuff that's in you CAN be rescued, it IS STILL there, it just needs to be FREED.
You have to realize that the past does not EXIST. It’s only in our imaginations and mind now, and it’s up to you to LEARN from it and take action in the PRESENT.
You don’t have to live the PAST anymore. Now, it’s up to YOU.
Another important step is asking yourself what do YOU enjoy? And don’t just tell me food, sex, spending money, or things like that. Those things are very raw things that everyone obviously has in common. I’m talking about the more refined stuff, the kind of stuff that you would be interested in if you ALREADY had all the sex stuff, etc, taken care of.
So you see, you don’t HAVE to be funny.
You don’t HAVE to be intriguing.
You don’t HAVE to be “dangerous”.
You don’t HAVE to be “adventurous”.
You don’t HAVE to be mysterious.
You don’t HAVE to be “playful”.
And you certainly don’t have to be ALL those things.
But you damn well HAVE to be SOMETHING EMOTIONALLY COMPELLING.
I refuse to believe that there is ANYONE out there who is really totally boring or who has no potential of being emotionally compelling.
It’s impossible to really have nothing interesting about yourself, because life itself demands some pretty big things of anyone in order to survive and manage physically and/or emotionally.
And then, when you figure out what you are, you must UNLEASH that with CONVICTION.
Conviction goes hand in hand with Congruency. If you don’t have conviction in what you are saying, doing, or wearing, you won’t be congruent to it at all and it will fall to pieces, although sometimes you just have to fake it to make it, so that you ultimately DO become congruent to it. It takes a little determination.
Another really important point that needs to be stated, but is almost never said:
When starting an interaction with a woman you have never met before, it’s important to realize that you don’t have to come out EXPLODING out the gates with something INSANELY powerful to say right off the bat. That’s simply impossible most of the time, and in fact, defeats the whole point of BUILDING an interaction and AMPLIFYING an emotional experience.
Think of a good movie- does the first SECOND blow you away? Usually not, usually though it’s INTERESTING, it arouses at least some curiosity, or it is intriguing, it gets you interested to FIND OUT MORE about the character. And things KEEP ON GETTING MORE AND MORE EXCITING, INTERESTING, DRAMATIC, etc. as each minute unfolds.
In fact, if a movie came out at you in the first SECOND with too much intensity, it would often weird you out. You haven’t even had a chance to find out WHAT IS GOING ON HERE, to get comfortable enough to even WANT to be overwhelmed with any emotion.
Actually, there is one more thing I want to mention: A lot of what makes an interaction GREAT is dealing with emotions that a woman can RELATE to.
You see, there is nothing wrong about Star Wars per se, but not too many girls “get it” (although I have met now and then the very rare girl who totally “gets it” and who is both intelligent and hot) but usually unless you are really talented at conveying the essence of something, starting a conversation with a girl about Star Wars is like a girl starting a conversation with you about panty liners. You get what I’m saying? Not easily able to relate to it.
And also, talking to a girl about celebrity gossip etc, although a GREAT idea for beginners, is really just a starting point for your conversation. You want to take the conversation to a place that ultimately is something that not only is interesting to her, but also interesting to YOU, and thus BONDS both of you. In fact, you want to take the conversation to a point that leaves her INSPIRED, UPLIFTED, OR BETTER OFF in some way, even if it was you TEACHING her something that will help HER emotionally.
And you do ALL OF THIS from a totally NON NEEDY standpoint, it all flows from a perspective of ABUNDANCE, i.e. that you are in such a great place of abundance, that you don’t need to “get back” from her in order to GIVE.
You honestly don’t NEED her to give back to you, because you know you can have other women. You actually ENJOY the interaction for the moment you are both in, there is no “destination” that you are obsessed with.
THAT is attractive.
Welcome to the non-creepy world of real attraction and connection that does not rely on scripts, alcohol, or whores for results.
And if YOU are reading this right now and want to learn the skills so that you can go way beyond just basic confidence, so that you can truly make girls awed by the sum total of your charisma, then I recommend you take the following steps:
The first thing to do is download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, and do it IMMEDIATELY. This baby has TONS of POWERFUL and CLEAR STEPS for you to take on your journey to being the man you were BORN to really be. You'll be coming back to it again and again, even years from now.
Download it now at:
Inside, you'll learn:
-How to trigger attraction instantly.
-How to approach women and create "instant dates."
-How to get physical.
-How to handle tests.
-How to create a powerful sense of connection.
-And much, much more.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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