There’s so much I want to tell you, it’s driving me mad. I’ve been in the field conducting an insane amount of bootcamps and personal consultations lately. 7 days a week, doing daytime, nighttime, groups, lone wolfs, moving targets, streets, malls, cafes, clubs, lounges, pubs, working with older clients, younger clients, and in several different cities. And what's been common with many of the guys in my groups is that there’s a heck of a lot of confusion and misinformation out there on what it means to be COOL.
The first thing I want to clear up is a relatively new bitter belief created by ignorant fools that all women don’t want relationships, that supposedly they just want to abuse guys because women these days have the “power”.
Then again, I used to be an ignorant fool myself, so it’s not fair to blame them. Those beliefs are not true, and they are definitely not cool.
Look, it’s all about SUPERIORITY.
It’s up to YOU.
If a woman feels you have SUPERIOR INTRINSIC VALUE, you can BET YOUR ASS she will want a relationship with you.
IF that’s what you want.
As far as she is concerned, if she is feeling attracted to you, then SHE is the one getting the better deal out of having a “relationship.” It just makes sense. When you are attracted to something or someone, you want a LOT of it.
ALL THOSE LOVE SONGS AND LOVE STORY MOVIES AND STUFF are only BAD for guys to watch because guys focus on the LOVE STUFF without focusing on the REASON WHY the guy gets the LOVE stuff.
And let me tell you, the reason he GETS it is because he is SUPERIOR.
The thing is, if a woman feels the guy has Superior Intrinsic Value, but the guy then acts like a JERK, she will then SHUT OFF HER OWN ATTRACTION mechanism to SAVE HERSELF FROM FEELING BAD THAT SHE CAN’T GET HIM. So the jerk then gets kind of “vaporized” into non-existence.
This is why a GOOD GUY who also make a woman feel he has SUPERIOR Intrinsic Value will WIN every time vs. some guy who seems superior but then also seems like a jerk.
In fact, the being a jerk CHANGES the guy’s category from superior to INFERIOR.
Listen, if a guy like Brad Pitt were to go up to a woman and act like a total asshole, trust me it would NOT turn on 99 percent of women. Women would just feel that the guy is too full of himself.
It would be the same feeling you would get if some gorgeous woman acted like a cold bitch to you.
Would you like that?
I didn’t think so.
Most guys wouldn’t.
Listen, Superman is a great guy, and Lois is nuts about him. Because Superman is SUPERIOR in every way. And he is a GOOD GUY.
Here’s the other thing: If you yourself feel awesome and are exploding with awesome emotions, you typically aren’t needy for a relationship. Doesn’t mean you are OPPOSED to one, but you aren’t NEEDY for it.
Most people who are needy for a relationship are really just needy for the validation it provides, and this is why they will hook up with the wrong people, who end up robbing them of their self-esteem even further, creating a vicious cycle.
When you aren’t needy for a relationship, you tend to have TONS of options for a relationship, because you are ATTRACTING tons of women. And then you can make better choices, and choose women that have healthy balanced lifestyles who aren’t selfish “bitches” etc.
Connecting with a woman, once she feels you are indeed superior, once she is FEELING the attraction vibes for you, is CRITICAL. The problem with a lot of advice material out there is that it is UNBALANCED, it only emphasizes one element, usually sexuality, to entice guys. Or, it ONLY emphasizes the connection stuff, and totally ignores attraction.
Both are ridiculous extremes, yet that is what is going on. You have the guys who are basically pandering to those who want to have “notches” on their bedpost (usually the guys who are unable to form human connections with others), and others who are pandering to those who desperately want relationships, yet the truth is most women require BOTH attraction to a guy AND a feeling of connection, especially if this woman is not some extreme or unbalanced person.
Now, of course, there ARE women who don’t need all this stuff, girls who sleep with a new guy every month, and then you hear stories of how some guy creates an entire “method” on how to get girls by just teasing the hell out of them, when in fact it’s an illusion, because that will ONLY work on girls who are ALREADY that “type” who are very into casual sex, etc.
In most cases, especially doing COLD PICK UPS from scratch, where you are approaching a woman who is a total stranger, and especially if you are not in a club, you have to be very careful about overdoing the cocky bastard stuff at the very OUTSET of the interaction. This is not to say not to playfully tease, but most guys are teasing in a way that is just plain UNCOOL, because they are doing it too much, or they are doing it in a way where it looks like they are trying too hard.
It’s like the guy at the movie theatre who keeps on making wisecracks at the movie, where eventually somebody tells him to shut the f**k up, especially if the movie is not a comedy. The guy who is making the wisecracks is obviously doing it for attention, for the validation he gets from people laughing or reacting. And then when no one laughs, the guy feels MORE PRESSURE to do something to TRY to get some validation, to save himself, when the best thing he could do to save himself is shut up.
You can see the guy is STARVING for attention, as opposed to not being AFRAID of the attention, In fact he is AFRAID of not getting attention.
He goes from being someone who is ADDING to the group’s energy to someone who is taking AWAY from the group’s energy.
He goes from being cool to being a dork.
A lot of this also has to do with having basic social sense, which a lot of guys don’t have because they weren’t taught to be aware of this.
Guys do the same kind of thing with women ALL THE TIME, they come across like dorks seeking responses and attention from women. In other words, the guys come across like TAKERS. They want attention from women.
If they would chill out some more, they would be able to enjoy the situation more, and thus be naturally be more aware of the dynamics of that situation, whether it is a club or a library that they have met a woman in, or whether she is with her friends or whether she is already into him or not.
Another word for all this is CALIBRATION.
Regarding the teasing stuff, for most guys, they would be better to start off with just a TOUCH of playful teasing for moment, for example, and immediately work your way into rapport for a few minutes, and then sprinkle some more attraction stuff into your interaction.
Allow your body language and tonality to carry a lot of the initial attract stuff in the first 30 seconds.
If you are approaching a moving target (i.e. in a mall) and she is by herself, it’s EXTRA IMPORTANT to not creep her out. Start off at a very LOW KEY ALTITUDE, do not come in there flying at high intensity or you are going to seem damn weird.
Your tonality and your opener should be very matter of fact, whether you are using an opinion opener or canned material or something from yourself from the spur of the moment, the real critical point is to make sure your mannerisms are laid back. Think about it- she is moving, by herself, and you are some guy approaching her. Everything she has been conditioned has taught her to watch out for this kind of thing, so your first priority is not even to attract, it’s to not freak her out.
And if you would like to get the FULL PICTURE on how to attract the woman or women of your choice, then I seriously suggest you IMMEDIATELY download my eBook "The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women". You can be reading it in just a few minutes from now. Go to:
Inside, you'll learn:
-How to trigger attraction instantly.
-How to approach women and create "instant dates."
-How to get physical.
-How to handle tests.
-How to create a powerful sense of connection.
-And much, much more.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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