If success with women was a simple thing, every straight guy would have it down pat. The fact is that so much of what women do is NOT what it seems to be.
In order to understand women, it’s critical to understand their CODE- LANGUAGE.
Let’s say for example, that a guy approaches a woman, and starts talking to her, and she at first starts laughing and chatting with him, and then suddenly becomes really rude. Or even starts right out being rude.
Most guys will feel at this point, that they are screwed and that the woman does not like them.
Okay, well, sometimes this is true.
But let me tell you something- VERY OFTEN that’s NOT the accurate interpretation, and translating her behavior that way would be a MISUNDERSTANDING of FEMALE CODE. When a woman TRULY perceives that a guy has no chance with her, she tends to actually be very POLITE. She sees NO THREAT, and actually she will usually give a polite and courteous response to the guy that she has a boyfriend or whatever.
She will NOT be rude.
But to a guy who is starting to push her EMOTIONAL BUTTONS, she actually feels there is something happening to her on a deep emotional level, and her red flags go off and signal an ALARM- i.e.: “Is this guy just trying to get into may pants and dump me?”
So she gets RUDE to get rid of the guy before she does something she might regret, before she can lose control. It’s quite logical when you think about from a woman’s perspective, even if women themselves are not even conscious of what they are doing when this happens.
You see, if there was no attraction whatsoever, she wouldn’t feel the need to be rude and do this.
Now, if you are really doing things smoothly, you will be disarming those concerns of hers with your non-threatening, non-aggressive and non-desperate body language, the things you are saying etc. (As explained in my book and in even greater detail in my seminar.)
But my point is that a lot of guys are beating themselves up and letting their self-esteem take a whipping for no reason- the reality is that the woman WAS getting attracted, and all the guy needs is more practice to become a little more fluid, more congruent, or less intense, less suspicious, less weird.
So as you can see, one reason that a chick might be rude is because she doesn’t TRUST you, not because she doesn’t feel attraction.
If you are aware of this, if you can sense this from your understanding of HER body language, and from recognizing your own errors in what you are doing, -i.e. too much "game"- you can CORRECT this error and ensure smooth sailing ahead. For example, it may be time to lean back/ slow down on the cocky shtick/or just get into some more genuine conversation/ or just slow down on the entire interaction altogether, and give her some room to come to her own conclusions.
No one wants to feel forced into feeling anything, so this way, by lowering the pressure, you give HER the chance to become engaged emotionally, so that SHE can become INTENSE on her OWN accord. That’s much better than making the mistake of thinking “Forget it, she hates me, what’s the point, I’m going home and never doing this again”.
Here’s ANOTHER CLASSIC situation that guys often encounter, where there is far more than meets the eye:
A guy is with a girl he has recently or just met. Pretty soon in the conversation, the chick starts to tell him about other guys that like her. Now the typical reaction of most guys, which is actually quite logical, goes like this: “What a b**ch! Here she is, showing off how many guys like her, trying to make me feel like crap. Let her go screw herself!”
Well guess what?
MANY times, the reason the chick is doing this is actually because she is feeling ATTRACTED to you, and wants YOU to know that she is worthy and desirable so that YOU will think so too!
In other words, she feels a bit BAD that maybe you DON’T think she is good enough, even if you do, and in your mind, you think it’s obvious that you DO think she is great!!!
She’s trying to get into your “good books” believe it or not!
Now obviously, this all depends on context, so sometimes a woman really is just trying to be a b**ch. But very often, that’s is NOT the case- it’s all about the woman feeling insecure. And a woman being INSECURE is something that many guys simply cannot BELIEVE.
BUT IT’S TRUE, I SWEAR TO YOU.
Yes, even the women that you think are the HOTTEST- they too are usually VERY insecure. That’s not to say they are not often stuck up, and it’s not to say that many woman are not spoiled. As a matter of fact, I would go so far as to say that the INSECURITY comes from the fact that many attractive woman are SCARED of losing all that stuff that they get on account of their looks – i.e. losing the worship of all the people who worship her.
Because in a way, their entire world stands on very shaky ground. There is always a better looking woman right around the corner, and physical beauty is temporary and fleeting and they know it. You see, guys are conditioned to not only care about their looks, so guys develop
other aspects of themselves and often develop a tougher and stronger sense of self-esteem. (We have to, because we can’t depend on ass-kissing nearly as much.)
But to a woman, who has spent her whole life evaluating herself based on her looks vs another woman’s looks, it is absolutely HORRIFYING to think that she is LESS desirable than she thought all along. So what women do to PROTECT themselves from being hurt is they often actually put up a SHIELD that says “I am the best and superior to you” even if they are not really so sure. And what’s REALLY crazy is that MOST GUYS BELIEVE this act, and so end up kissing up to women, which OF COURSE the woman is not going to stop, because it feeds her ego, which desperately needs feeding!
And, because attraction is based on SIV, the guy who’s kissing up tends to feel even GREATER attraction, and the woman, since she senses she is in the superior position, feels LESS attraction. And the cycle gets worse and worse, as he treats her better and better as she treats him worse and worse, each feeding off the sense of SIV of the other.
Until it eventually gets too much for either The guy to take (his attraction is so strong and because it is not reciprocated it is too much and he ends the relationship, or her attraction is so weak and she can’t take it either, so she ends the relationship). See how there is so much more to this than meets the eye?
So when a woman puts up her “shield of superiority” she is making it so that she can’t be hurt, she wants to stay in control of the situation- so she acts cold, as if she is ALREADY saying she is not interested, so you can’t hurt her. So the ONLY way left to interact with her, most guys assume, is to kiss up. She CAN’T object to that, right?
Of course, as any reader of this newsletter knows, she may not object, but she WON’T feel attraction from that.
This is why it’s so important to know how to walk the fine line between keeping cool and not terrifying these poor scared chicks with fragile egos, and yet at the same time not kiss up to them either and show that you’re THE MAN. Because the reality is that yes, women are spoiled by most men, but they are still insecure because of other WOMEN.
When you understand all these advanced dimensions of women’s sexual psychology, you actually start to feel a bit sorry for most women, because they are so insecure. You start to feel that the REAL power is not in their hands, no matter how beautiful they are, but in yours.
Honestly, with the power that comes from a master level understanding of women and attraction, all the bitterness of past experiences melts away. Because the power is in your hands, and you feel VERY secure.
And secure people tend to only want POSITIVE things for themselves and also for others.
And then you don’t want to use your skills to “prove a point”, but simply to be able to interact with women in a way that makes them TRULY feel comfortable and yet also TRULY attracted to you.
If you haven't downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that now. It lays the foundation for all the advanced concepts in my seminar and my consultations.
Of course, like everything else I do, it comes with a money-back guarantee.
Download it now at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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