Average Rating: 3.50 [Total Votes: 4]
One of the biggest challenges we have when we see a woman we would like to approach, is figuring out what to say to trigger her feelings of "CHEMISTRY" for you.
Now, I've already explained the importance of not acting desperate and not kissing up to a woman especially when you first meet her, so you know that things like complimenting a stunning woman on her beauty is an absolute no-no.
The trick to figuring out what to say is to focus on incorporating into your conversation either teasing things about the woman you are approaching, or focusing on using the immediate environment and situation to your advantage by working them into the conversation in a way that SPAWNS THE "CHEMICALS" of attraction. And for these chemicals to be fired off, you must work these elements into your conversation in a way that also seems NATURAL and INTERESTING and COMPELLING.
To make it seem natural, you must make the whole approach seem as if it no effort was required, and that it "JUST HAPPENED" spontaneously, and therefore was just "so magical" and therefore a work of FATE. So, for example, you cannot let a woman see you coming toward her from a mile away to talk to her.
Don't smile in that submissive way when you are talking to her, as if you are her little Chihuahua that runs to her and is nodding to fulfill her requests.
You have to make it look NATURAL, and that means it can't look like you are trying to win her over or win her approval or kiss up to her. If you ever watch any movie where there is a male and female lead with some romance going on, you'll see that the initial conversations are always laced with some healthy tension between the two, where they are showing INDEPENDENCE and NOT showing ass-kissing.
As a matter of fact, it's almost a cliché that the lovers always start off by clashing, they seem almost opposites, and they are NOT getting along, and we all know that pretty soon they will be rolling in the sheets together.
Now, I'm not saying to start off a conversation with an argument, but by not showing YOUR interest (i.e. by being a bit aloof yet at the same time not acting COLD or BITTER) and at the same time SPARKING HER INTEREST, (with fun conversation or teasing) you are naturally revving up the chemistry, because it sets a CHALLENGING goal up: How do I GET this other person, how do I get over the obstacles that this person is presenting?
While we are comparing to movies, remember that the characters in movies don't talk about boring things - or the audience would fall asleep. And you don't the woman in front of you to fall asleep while you're talking to her either!
So it's a good idea to talk about the things that we human beings tend to enjoy talking about- whether it's juicy tabloid gossip or whether it's the war of the sexes, certain topics just have appeal. Also, if YOU are passionate about something that women might find interesting, such as winemaking, traveling, etc, and you can CONVEY that passion, you will likely instill some of that excitement into the woman you are speaking with.
This is one of the reasons it's a good idea to HAVE A LIFE, and have interesting hobbies, and to actually READ interesting books. It gives you interesting things to talk about and share, and it enriches yourself as a person. And if you aren't a skydiver, it's still more interesting to discuss SKYDIVING in general than how to tie your shoes or use Velcro.
In many ways, when you are speaking to a woman, you want to simulate that experience of going to a movie:
We go to movies to FEEL certain emotions that we desire to experience, but could not often experience in real life because it would be either impossible or too dangerous or the real life version of the emotion would be too INTENSE. If you were REALLY on the TITANIC, you would probably not have enjoyed it.
However, when you are just watching a MOVIE of it, you can experience the danger and the drama from a safe vantage point- so that you actually
PAY to experience this!!!! Similarly, when you approach a woman, you want her to feel that excitement, but you do not want to go overboard to the point of her feeling that it is now too intense and therefore UNDESIRABLE or UNCOMFORTABLE. "OHMYGOD this is TOO INTENSE. THIS IS TOO MUCH"
So don't go OVERBOARD with teasing her, and challenging her, and talking ONLY about exciting and passionate things. Similarly, avoid certain topics like morbid death and destruction, or gore. D-uh!
I believe the "Don Juan" style of seduction works not because he is worshipping the woman, but because he keeps on describing EMOTIONS and feelings and therefore gets her mind ENGAGED in these thoughts. He's also confident as heck, in his body language, his voice tonality, his leading the way... He is actually NOT kissing up to her with his articulate descriptions of how wonderful the sensations of love and passion with a woman are- he is rather displaying HIS abilities and his value ...to ANY woman, as opposed to being enslaved to the woman he is actually speaking with.
He is giving her THE MOVIE - she is experiencing a whole spectrum of INTOXICATING EMOTIONS from him, as he goes on and on describing in detail the imagery and sensations of romance and passionate love.
And of course, he disappears as quickly as he arrived, before she can adapt and get bored. (This is why it is so crucial to not be predictable and to keep her off balance by teasing her or smoothly moving into new topics). Most other guys just talk about stocks and bonds and beer.
GIVE A WOMAN THE MOVIE EXPERIENCE. TONS OF DRAMA, LAUGHTER, INTRIGUE. YET ALL THE WHILE IT'S ALL GOOD AND SAFE.
And if you can tease her playfully too, all the better, since she will be moved by your confidence and your comfort with her. When you go to a movie, you OPEN YOUR MIND to SOAK in lots of emotions- action, drama, tears, excitement, etc, because you know it's all going to be okay.
And that is why you must also make a woman feel SAFE with you by not overdoing it- so you can have a little normal conversation too. The problem is that most guys ONLY keep the conversation "NORMAL" and hence boring. This would be like going to a movie where all the characters do is tie their shoes and talk about how to tie shoes.
So, back to making it all seem SPONTANEOUS AND NATURAL and EFFORTLESS. Yeah, yeah, I know this sounds cheesy, but let me tell you why this is so important: When you show effort, you appear to be a "bad catch" since she feels that if you were a good catch you would not be trying so hard. She feels that if you were a "good catch" it would all come naturally to you. (Of course in reality, the nervous guy who is screwing it all up is most likely a great catch because he is only screwing it up since he values her highly and is nervous and is the TRUE natural, since he has not practiced...but women do not see it this way, at least not initially, and do not reward this type of behavior unfortunately)
A woman does not want a guy who seems like he is a "bad catch" and who therefore is needy. If to her, it looks like you put EFFORT into it, or if it looks DIFFICULT for you, she will assume that you are either desperate or nervous, either one of which means BAD CHOICE to her.
The less she thinks you have put into the whole approach, and the less she feels it's about HER than it is about YOUR NATURAL COMPELLING PERSONALITY, the BETTER it will be for YOU.
It's not about showing her how interested you are in her. Too many guys think that it's all about expressing THEIR interest- i.e. "If only she knew how I felt about her, she would love me" is just plain WRONG. Do you really think she cares in a POSITIVE sense that YOU are interested in HER?
It's more like the OPPOSITE- the less you care, the better. (This does not mean to show that you hate her, or that you are bitter, it's more like you are completely neutral and just having conversation.... - don't worry if the conversation is capturing her imagination and you are teasing her, she will be interested in YOU)
She only wants YOU to be interested in her if she is interested in YOU...and for her to be interested in you, you must first SPARK her interest through your behavior and conversation. Look, if a woman who you found absolutely unattractive kept on trying to explain to you how madly in love she was with you, would you really feel any better about her?
NO, you would not.
But if she seemed ATTRACTIVE as hell, THEN you would want her to care about you. It's all about creating HER INTEREST in YOU. NOT about your interest in HER. And, ironically, one way to create her interest in YOU is by PUSHING THE ENVELOPE and behaving in a way that shows you either A-Don't NEED her approval;
OR, that you
B- KNOW you're going to get it anyway
because you believe so strongly in yourself.
Remember, it cannot look like a lot of work went into it. Ironically, the only way to make it look easy and natural is to practice a LOT lol.
Women love romance, and the key to romance is spontaneity. The smoother your approach, the less it looks like you are trying to win her over, the more "spontaneous" it seems and therefore you become the central character in her real life Harlequin romance novel. Also, the more natural it seems, the more she can blame "FATE" and therefore she feels less guilty about giving you her number or email or the instant date or whatever.
So for example, let's say you are at the drugstore, and a gorgeous girl is grabbing some bag of candy off the shelf- VOILA- you can tease her on this in a million ways:
Here's an example:
"Don't buy THAT!"
Her: "hahaha-But these are so GOOD!"
Then as you both head toward the counter with your purchase, you can tell her:
"You better work out if you eat that"
"Oh I don't work out. I exercise Enough from my job moving around"
You can reply something like:
"Oh you mean you MOW LAWNS?"
She'll be like "hahaha…no I'm a Waitress/bartender/secretary/ whatever"
By this time, you've got some good vibes flowing, you've shown you are not trying to win her approval, you've shown that you will be a challenge, you've shown confidence, you've made her laugh.... but it may still not be enough. you need to FUEL THE FLAMES here, with FURTHER mental stimulation-
SEARCH THE SITUATION for the answer:
The magazine rack right by the counter- You know, National Enquirer, Cosmo, etc, etc. Pull off a copy of what inquiring minds need to know, and let's say there's a big splash page Of J-Lo and Ben Affleck and their soap opera. Take a look at it and mention out loud without hardly looking at her. "Do you think J-Lo is doing the right thing? Should she "stand by her man"? How about Ben? Do you think men should just be honest about having affairs or should they just be tactful?"
Do all this in a playful non-serious way, and just WATCH the reaction you get.
REMEMBER: A woman is looking to YOU to LEAD, it's just not going to be the woman starting to talk to you.
In a café or restaurant, you can tease a woman on what she has ordered, you can make a playful comment about the lousy service, and of course in ANY situation you can comment on things she is doing, wearing, etc.
When you approach a woman, you MUST PUSH THE ENVELOPE on what is normally expected in typical social convention, or you will NOT make an impression. ASSUME you have permission to push the boundaries (without breaking any laws, of course!) Tease and have FUN. You can't just make a comment on the weather, because women are desensitized to mild crap like that. If it's expected, then it's BORING.
You wouldn't want to go to a movie where you knew everything before it happened, would you? (Actually, I have made it a rule to not watch the trailers to movies that I have been anticipating to go see for this very reason!)
Plus, following normal social conventions shows you are playing it too safe, which means that you are not confident enough in yourself - that you are trying to make sure you don't rock the boat at all, to make sure she approves of you. Well, the irony is that all this "trying to make sure she approves of you" is the QUICKEST ROUTE TO ENSURING THAT SHE IS BORED BY YOU. You have to stop caring so much what women think, and just have FUN with it, so that your natural personality shows through.
I like to use the example of the movie THE MASK, With Jim Carrey. Remember how he actually had a cool funky Personality, but he couldn't unleash it unless He wore the mask. Eventually he realizes he doesn’t need the mask to be his cool self. So, when you are trying to "not rock the boat" You are actually REPRESSING YOUR REAL PERSONALITY. You have to unleash that REAL part of you and let it RUN FREE. THAT is what is INTERESTING and FUN about you.
When you stop giving a damn about what women think, you actually start to GET THEIR APPROVAL!
Now, of course, you should have basic social skills and make sure you dress casual but trendy and look your best and smell your best, but after that, HAVE FUN and TAKE CONTROL of the situation and PUSH the envelope- this is what women want! Once you see that the woman you are talking to is giving you strong positive feedback, THIS IS THE TIME to make the "sale" and get her email/ number, etc.
You'll KNOW if you she is ready to give you her contact information by her body language and smiling and feedback to you. If she is smiling and leaning into you and laughing etc, etc, it's a pretty good sign that you can get her info now. And if she gives you any resistance, DON'T GIVE UP so fast. If she tells you she doesn't give out her email, or if she calls you a "player", HAVE FUN with her comments and don't turn it into an argument. Women want to see if you can handle a little heat, and if you can, they will reward you with fine things...
And if you want to learn more about how to meet women ANYWHERE, how to take things from initial encounter to getting physical, to how to deal with any "tests" that women will throw your way, and how to succeed at a relationship if you desire to have one, then you need to download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
In my eBook, I show you step-by-step what you need to know for total success with women. I cover everything from how to gain confidence, to explaining how women think but are too uncomfortable to tell you. This book is the real deal, based on what works in the REAL WORLD. It's the information you need to know for success with women today.
You can begin reading this important information within MINUTES of now.
To download the eBook, just go to:
Till next time,
1 comment(s) Click Here to Leave a Comment Below
This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
- Baiting Technique
- How To Play Hard To Get With Women
- Tease Her Please Her II
- Tease To Please In Action
- Social Proof
- Create Sexual Tension
- Demonstrate Value
- Attraction Guide
- Attraction Square One
- Pretend To Strike
- PUA Qualification
- Active Disinterest
- Mini Cold Reads
- Forcing IOIs
- Statements of Interest
- Conveying Personality
- Bait Hook Reel Release
- Using Eye Liner
- Hoop Theory
- Tantalize Her With Scents
- Guide To Creating Attraction
- Being Non-Reactive
- Not Appearing Reactive Showing Disinterest
- Chemical Conversation
- Attraction Momentum
- The Laws of Attraction
- Push Pull
- Messing Up Chances
- Frames Games Prizability
- Step By Step Example Of Attracting Women
- Step By Step Guide To Make Women Qualify
- Using Challenges
- Compel Women To Touch
- Conveying Attraction Assets