Learning opening lines isn't the same as being successful. Parroting some dating guru's opening lines makes you seem fake... knowing how to create your own opening lines and conversations is sexy and attraction building.
This field (helping men gain confidence to meet women and maintain relationships) is far too personal for me to give you any commercial bull**it. Yes, I absolutely expect to be paid fairly for what I do, but I seriously cannot stand the idea of giving guys even once one ounce of b.s. about a topic that in my opinion can lead some guys to suicide. I will never forget the absolute hell that this can be if you don’t know what you are doing or if you are locked into the idea of neediness.
So I want to totally clarify some critical things that I believe that no one else on earth is saying clearly at all. Regarding the ACTUAL FIRST MOMENTS, the ACTUAL PICK-UP.
The FIRST thing I want to explain is the relative importance of having “material” to use to open up a woman or group of women, or to keep the interaction going well.
The argument that the guys who use material assert is that, “All the “BEST” guys use the same material over and over again, because IT WORKS”.
The argument that guys who DON’T use material assert is “The “GREAT” guys who are “naturals” never use material, and using material means you don’t feel good enough about your own ability to speak naturally, so using something that is not “on the spot” and natural thus subtly indicates through your thoughts and therefore through your micro-actions that you feel and are inferior”.
The REALITY is that the LIFEBLOOD of any interaction you have with a woman is first of all your STATE OF MIND, and your ability to TRANSMIT those awesome states of your mind into her mind. The other critical factor is also to display dominance at certain key moments of the interaction in a masculine way, another important topic for a different time.
The ONLY reason that the guys who “use” material feel so strongly about it, is because they HAVE DONE IT SO MANY TIMES they now associate their awesome state with the words themselves.
ALSO, and this is HUGE, because they already KNOW the words they are going to say, they are NOT WORRYING THEMSELVES about this issue.
What the worry does to guys is DRAIN their emotional energy and channel it into the wrong states of mind.
The irony is, that by having words and “material” memorized, these guys are now free to NOT worry about the words at all. Rather, they can focus their energies on tapping into their powerful emotional reservoirs, and unleash the FLOOD of awesome vibes that dwell within themselves. It’s hard to do this if you are in a WORRIED state of mind.
The emotions and vibes that are unleashed when one focuses on this, must be REAL to be most effective.
At least in that MOMENT of the interaction, they must be real.
The words don’t matter as much, (although they can help) as long as the say the basic message. The rest of the power comes from the DELIVERY, which means it comes from the “TRUENESS” of how much the guy FEELS congruent to what he is saying, and what he is saying has to be EMOTIONALLY RELEVANT—meaning it’s funny, or intriguing, or exciting, or dramatic, etc.
He has to MEAN what he says.
Let me give you the best damn example I can think of:
When a great singer sings a song, how important are just the words? Important to a degree, after all, the song has to say SOMETHING.
But we all know that if that singer gets up there and just SAYS THE WORDS, or just sings the words without being passionate about it, his or her performance is going to be a TOTAL FAILURE, emotionally, with the audience.
And we also know that fake passion is quite apparent to an audience.
I can think of several bands and certain singers who might NOT have the ULTIMATE voices, but if you listen to them, or see them in person, you will be BLOWN AWAY.
The reason for this is because these performers TRULY EXPERIENCE THE EMOTION OF THE SONG WITHIN THEMSELVES as they perform. And when they experience this, all kinds of subconscious, infinite, and subtle things occur in their body language and voice inflection, that communicate directly with the emotional sensors in the brain of each person in the audience.
Each and every time, the performer must ACTUALLY HONESTLY EXPERIENCE the emotion if they are going to deliver their BEST performance.
Each and every time, it has to be REAL, or the audience will be cheated and it will be obvious. It will be sucky.
Similarly, a great actor, even though he is ACTING, in order to truly deliver a great performance, he or she must actually experience the emotions that character is going through, in order to EXPRESS it powerfully to an audience.
AND SIMILARLY, when a guy opens up a conversation with a woman, if he is WORRIED about what he is going to SAY, then WORRY is the emotion he will be EXPRESSING and transmitting into her mind as well. Making her feel uncomfortable, of course.
So you see, the REAL issue is just having SOMETHING to act as the medium to carry your emotional expression. So whether you MEMORIZE something to say, or you come up with it on the spot, the CRITICAL factor is having the proper emotions fueling every second and every word.
THIS is what allows you to make the JUMP from A to D instead of having to spend one year on step A, another year on step B, and so on and so forth.
NOW, having BOTH the BEST WORDS and the BEST EMOTIONAL FUEL is the BEST of both worlds. But the emotional fuel is by far the more important of the two, especially when you consider that most first conversations with women will be playful stuff that is really not that deep at ALL, so all you really need is to keep in mind that the TOPICS should be PLAYFUL, whether you are arguing that women are more dangerous than men because as you can see the Black Widow and the Praying Mantis proves this lol, or any other topic about the current gossip about celebrities, and teasing the girls on their responses to what you say, etc.
So to me, the idea of spending hours and hours trying TO MEMORIZE stuff is really ludicrous, and ESPECIALLY if you plan on actually having this girl stick around you in the future, then you should have ALREADY for yourself have topics and/or hobbies that you are passionate about, which of course makes YOU a happier and more complete person who is less needy for anything that women can give you, also makes you a more interesting person to women as well of course.
Some guys actually do WORSE with material, because for THEM, THEY worry that they will be “caught” and sound fake, so again, they are back to worrying. Which cuts OFF the power to all the awesome emotional reservoirs.
I would like to also end off here by saying that it’s ALL ABOUT THE EMOTIONS you are unleashing in her.
So it’s not only what you SAY, and what you feel, but also what awesome emotions are being unleashed by what you are WEARING from head to toe. Which is an important topic in itself.
What makes ALL of this stuff especially effective, is if she attributes those emotions as YOU, and not just triggered by you. This is why it’s so important that everything you do be infused with just the right amount of superiority.
This is why for example, the effective type of humor is laced with a comment that subtly implies your own value. So for example, giving a woman a compliment on her “good taste in men” while she is with you, is actually giving yourself a compliment, and kind of funny too. Of course, overdoing this type of thing will have the OPPOSITE effect and make you look weird or just make you annoying. CALIBRATION is the key, which comes from you actually USING what I explain here out in the real world.
And if you want to learn exactly HOW to ACHIEVE this state of mind, it’s up to YOU to take action. I can think of no finer way to do this than by IMMEDIATELY downloading my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, at:
Inside, you'll learn:
-How to trigger attraction instantly.
-How to approach women and create "instant dates."
-How to get physical.
-How to handle tests.
-How to create a powerful sense of connection.
-And much, much more.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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