One of the most important things to realize about success when it comes to attracting the kind of woman you are interested in, is that attraction is the result of MANY THINGS happening at ONCE.
As you develop and master these skills, what happens is that you eventually integrate all the different components together in a harmonious, smooth way. It all GELS together so that you are able to see the connections between each concept and it all actually feels very INSTINCTIVE. It feels as if you can't believe you ever thought or felt differently before!
I wanted to mention that first, because some guys make the mistake of taking ONE idea and not looking at it in the right context of how it fits into the other ideas.
So what I want do right now is explain a few major concepts so that you can work with them together.
ONE: GIVE HER WHAT SHE DOESN'T HAVE (OFTEN KNOWN AS GOOD SEXUAL VIBES COMBINED WITH INTEGRITY)
Now, every girl is going to be a little different obviously in this regard. But the key to remember is to give her what she doesn't have, as this is what she wants.
So for example, let's say a woman has some trait, whether it's physical or it has to do with her personality, and yet most guys don't really appreciate this about her but you LOVE it, then believe me, letting her know this is awesome, it will be appreciated.
You will NOT seem "needy" at all, as long as you CLEARLY are comfortable escalating the interaction and leading the show.
A lot of what makes the massive difference between being charismatic and being needy is not the words you say, but rather your tonality and beliefs, because when you believe that you are GIVING pleasure, your tonality takes on a totally different meaning than when you are fishing for approval.
And, if you use the PLAYFUL stuff (another topic which overlaps with this one) to HIT THIS POINT HOME, you will do it with flair. So for example, let's say you meet a woman who felt neglected in terms of being made to feel feminine. And you really do appreciate that part of her. So you tell her that she should be put in a science museum in a exhibit that includes her natural habitat, with the title "WOMAN", and that you would be the curator and give lessons to kids, and then you'd kick the kids out so you can feed the exhibit, this is FUNNY, it's ballsy, it's sexual, it's playful, it's cool. It would depend a bit on the girl of course, which is where calibration comes in, but you get the idea.
Also, in a different vein, many times, the FEW guys who have any coolness in them at all are also liars and dishonest and manipulative. (These guys usually have insecurity issues but mask them for a while.)
So imagine how refreshing it is for a girl to meet a guy who is cool and who is REALLY UPFRONT.
She doesn't GET that a lot.
By being a guy who is both charismatic AND who has integrity, you are giving her what she DOESN'T have.
So for example, I never pretend to a girl that I am not extremely sexual. I don't even PRETEND to be a "nice" guy. At the same time, I don't try to act like a "player" whose goal is to simply bed as many women as possible and who doesn't care about relationships. Because, I'm not a player. I don't care about notches on my bedpost. I know a thing or two about the power of a great connection.
I am TOTALLY UPFRONT ABOUT BEING THE REAL ME.
So, for example, if you like a girl, then it's totally FINE if she KNOWS it.
Let her know it.
If you're feeling sexual about a girl, she should KNOW it. You can be totally playful yet totally honest about this. i.e. Playfully tell her that you're a pervert, a jerk, yet totally honest, sometimes deep and wise, and other times your brain is OFF and all you want to do is play. I'll also let a girl know that my moral compass is never off and that, to me, trust is and mutual respect are KEY.
I set the frame IMMEDIATELY so it's clear what's going on.
This way, you also SCREEN OUT the girls who don't have a sense of humor, you SCREEN out the girls who aren't genuine.
You also SCREEN OUT the girls who have emotional issues with GIVING, because you see right away if the girl can or cannot appreciate your ability to give and lead the way in this manner.
Some people have a need to play games all the time to try to get "the upper hand" but wise people know that the only way to get any "upper hand" is for both people to not be afraid to GIVE AND GIVE. Otherwise, it's a time bomb till someone gets fed up.
They also know this because they know the JOY of giving as WELL as taking. So in these situations, there is both a lot of giving and taking, and it's not "work", it's honestly damn FUN.
A lot of guys wonder why they don't ever get beyond being "friends" and it's because by being so non-sexual for so long, it makes the whole sexual stuff very awkward for her. So if YOU take the "fall" for being the sexual animal first, you help her feel comfortable since after all, it's you who is the "bad" guy and not her. You are the "bad" guy in a very GOOD sense though. You've made it so that she doesn't have to feel like she was not "classy", since it was YOU who led the way to the sexual stuff.
This has to do with culture and the way women are conditioned. Most guys don't understand this, they don't understand that women psychologically are CONDITIONED in a certain way so that if you want a pickup to work, they NEED you to do it ONLY in a certain way or they will feel BAD about the whole pick-up and thus shut it down before it even starts.
A lot of guys either fall into the category of being non-sexual or they fall into the category of being a "player", both of which are not really cool anyway. Women can easily find both of those types of guys, they certainly aren't on the search for those kinds of guys.
What women DON'T get a lot of, are guys who are cool, who understand women, and who ALSO have integrity.
This leads to...
TWO: BEING SEXUAL EVEN IN THE INITIAL PICK-UP
It's interesting, because a woman on one hand does not want to be with a guy who kisses her butt, but that does NOT mean she doesn't TRULY DESIRE a guy who will APPRECIATE HER in a very sexual way.
Too many guys AVOID the sexual vibes because they think that women get too much of this and that therefore doing this is some form of kissing up to her.
But I'm telling you that it ISN'T.
Being sexual with a woman from the moment you meet her in the pick-up is KEY. It's the whole POINT in many ways, otherwise you'd be talking to a GUY not a GIRL!
Don't OVERDO it, but definitely it should be VERY MUCH IN THE VIBE from the get go. Whether it's the playful sexual double entendres in the conversation to to the LOOK you give her, it's KEY.
Getting this done to the right degree is a matter of CALIBRATION, and this is where the beginner needs the most work. Calibrating things properly is what often makes the difference between a woman being MELTED in your presence vs being BORED and giving you just a polite answer and then leaving.
THREE: TOTAL COMFORT
A lot of guys have the wrong notion of what women want when they hear that women want a guy who is "confident". Guys tend to think of confidence as being some type of EXTREME behavior.
In REALITY, the KEY behind the word confidence, when it comes to women, is your COMFORT level with them.
So instead of trying to do something OVER THE TOP as your display of confidence, you will show a lot more value and class and confidence by instead becoming VERY DAMN COMFORTABLE with women.
So that you can gaze in her eyes calmly.
So that you can make contact.
So that you smoothly steal a kiss rather than "ask" for one.
I think this is where a lot of guys also make the mistake when they tease women. They think it's a greater sign of confidence to be NASTY OR MEAN.
Instead, a PROPER PLAYFUL TEASE is actually FUNNY without being mean at all. It's the way you would be playful with a friend who you RESPECTED. A tease is NOT about some kind of sugar coated put-down, contrary to some "experts" who are all about "smashing a woman's ego". If you have to "smash a woman's ego" to get her attention, she is BAD news no matter what. And if being nasty is the only way a guy can get a woman's attention, he has very weak "game."
By the way, my rule of thumb on teasing a woman is, if she can possibly mistake your tease for being something TRUE, then you should NOT do it.
So if the girl you meet or your girlfriend is a real nerd, then telling her she doesn't even know where Jupiter is and she's a disgrace to nerds everywhere is FUNNY. Because she knows she is smart in that way.
But if she did HORRIBLE at school and you were to make fun of her academics, that would be cruel.
If a girl is really sporty and she does something stupid in the gym, and you bust on her for that, it's funny. She knows you are not serious.
If a girl is or was anorexic, or bulimic, etc, then teasing her on her looks, even if she is a supermodel, is NOT funny.
Bottom line is that I see a lot of guys trying to be cute and funny but end up pissing off a lot of women all due to NOT CALIBRATING properly.
At the same time, with proper calibration, you can do great stuff. But you have to be TOTALLY COMFORTABLE, which takes a lot of practice for most guys till they get desensitized to the pressure of looking straight into the eyes of a woman who they feel is hot.
When you really comfortable, you'll be able to do all kinds of playful stuff ON THE SPUR of the moment, without thinking about it. Like telling a girl with glasses, as she takes them off, "Don't worry, I won't tell anyone who you really are, mild mannered reporter by day, superhero by night."
FOUR: FLIP THINGS AROUND TO THE FUN SIDE
Many times, you might be meeting a woman (and this applies also if you are in a relationship) who is a great personality but just had a bit of a crazy day. As a great personality, she takes responsibility for her emotions and is trying to be upbeat, but also is telling you about her crazy boss or whatever.
So, what you want to do is help this cool person GET FULLY BACK INTO A GOOD STATE.
This is not about being all deep and analytical, it's about changing her STATE.
So, if you can get her LAUGHING, it's all good again. ESPECIALLY if you can do this in a way that shows you CARE at the same time.
So, for example, you might say:
"Lets go beat him up."
And if she says it's a her, not a him, say "let's go beat her up".
It sounds SILLY, right?
But it's NOT, this is actually smart stuff. You're getting her laughing, you're showing her you're on her side, and you're being dominant, all at once.
You can take this on and on and say "I've got Grouch Marx disguises so we can be videotaped by her security as we beat her up and then we can make out after on camera, complete with the masks on."
FIVE: SOMETIMES, GIVE HER SOME OF THE "POWER"
What I mean by this is that if you are THE MAN, and doing the things I explain, it will always be clear, and she will never forget that. Which means that you can ALSO validate her by letting her know just how HOT she is, and how much you like her in other ways as well .
By the way, it takes CONFIDENCE in yourself to be able to give as well. It also shows you believe enough in yourself that others will see the value in you too.
The key is to know WHEN she will be most HOT for this, and it's important that what you say comes from a GENUINE place inside. Why fake for? If you are not really feeling it for a girl, then don't be with her.
The key here is to have FLAIR. So for example, if she is dressing really hot for you, and you tell her that if you saw her while you were standing on top of a building and that seeing her in her panties and bra would make you fall off the top and you wouldn't even notice hitting the pavement, that's both FUNNY and also it's a really cool thing to let a girl know, if she has EARNED your affection. Your point makes more IMPACT when delivered with something that give her EMOTION. So humor in this case is the emotion. But humor is ONE cool emotion, there are many other cool emotions that can be used as well.
SIX: DROP NEGATIVE EMOTIONS FROM YOUR MATRIX
So often, we let NEGATIVE emotions DISTORT our PERSPECTIVE, our very judgment of a situation. And this makes us feel INSECURE, which causes us to react in a very "fight or flight" emergency response, that usually is about confrontation.
The source of the negative emotion doesn't matter, you might think she is the source you might think the source was something that happened in traffic, but the point is, when in a negative state, you will see EVIL everywhere, including in the woman you are chatting with. This can cause you to do all sorts of stupid stuff that you will regret.
It's not easy, but if you RECOGNIZE that you are feeling a negative emotion, see if you can LET THE NEGATIVE EMOTION GO. Do whatever you need to do, talk to a positive friend, go work out, whatever, but at the very LEAST, do not ACT on your negative emotion.
Very often, 24 hours later, you will then see, because the negative emotion is gone, you will then see how the REALITY was not even what you THOUGHT it was. Had you acted on the negativity, you would have caused a big deal of an argument for nothing.
SEVEN: DON'T CONFUSE NEEDINESS WITH FREQUENCY
A lot of guys hear advice about not being needy for a woman. So then they end up finally meeting a woman and doing all sorts of dumb things, like waiting two weeks before calling her after they get her number, or once they are seeing each other, he makes sure to be "scarce" all the time, all because he doesn't want to look NEEDY.
But the thing is, NEEDINESS is desperation. But two people BEING with each other a lot because they ENJOY each other is NOT needy.
A lot of people think that their value will go DOWN if they are "available". But the thing is, if a woman is having a BLAST each time she is with you, your value only goes UP. It's the same with HER value to YOU. If you are having a great time every time she is with you, her value goes UP. You realize more and more how PRECIOUS the connection the connection that you both have actually is.
And the irony is that if you are so worried all the time about appearing needy, then the time you spend with her will be AWKWARD and stilted, TOTALLY RUINING THE VIBES and weakening your personality.
When you both have a great time together, you are not "DEPLETING" the emotions she has for you, you are BUILDING THEM UP. You are both being ENERGIZED, not exhausted.
So as long as you are both having a great time, stop worrying about creating endless artificial constraints.
In fact, by having a lot of great times with each other, you may very well be creating a MASSIVELY POWERFUL CONNECTION that makes you BOTH feel MORE ATTRACTION, more TRUST, more LUST, more EVERYTHING for each other.
And if YOU would like to attain MASTERY level expertise in the area of seduction, then I seriously suggest you get my:
SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM CD SET
This project was the result of an OBSESSION. It consumed my life for over three YEARS, and this was AFTER I already had figured out a lot of crucial stuff about attraction. But I knew there was MORE, a DEEPER level. This project takes the human understanding of sexuality, attraction, and seduction to a whole new level.
If you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that now. This book forms the foundation before moving on to my advanced programs, and is especially important if you suspect you may be a "nice guy". It's at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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