Man, do I have a LOT I want to share with you. MAJOR stuff about pick-up, MAJOR stuff about relationships, MAJOR STUFF! There's a lot of LIES out there being spread like wildfire, and so it's my MISSION to actually spread the TRUTH.
Let's get straight to it:
You know how you hear "women love BAD boys" and stuff?
The problem when guys hear this, is that they think this means "bad" in some type of negative sense.
And NOTHING could be further from the truth. Sure, some men and women who are low self-esteem pursue those who treat them badly because they really feel that is what they are worth. Usually however, even these people wake up one day and realize something is wrong.
So the truth is that attraction has nothing to do with abuse.
The truth is that the only version of "BAD" that works for any sustainable period of time is "BAD" in a sense of being SEXUAL, FUN, UNPREDICTABLE, WILD, and CHALLENGING, and yet still...underneath it all, ALSO having a HEART that deeply cares about her, and will protect her, etc.
Not only that, but ALSO the truth is that virtually NO WOMAN wants a guy with a negative "mean" attitude. That is not being "bad" in a cool sense at all, that's just "bad" as in "crappy".
You hear a lot about "mysterious" tactics for how to attract a woman. Everything from hypnosis to "magic secret subliminal code words" to ideas that are "new agey" i.e. energies and chakras.
The TRUTH is that you can give any FANCY MARKETING NAME you want to what works, but the fact is when something works in this area called attraction, it's ALL because of the SAME thing.
So if the fancy name thing is putting what I'm about to describe into action, then it WILL work. And if the fancy name thing is NOT putting into action the things I'm about to describe, then it WON'T work.
What a lot of guys aren't understanding (and this is not most guys' fault, because NO ONE has ever made it CLEAR before) is that this whole idea of "bad" is totally more along the lines of having a cool "EDGE" and not being "bad" or "jerky" at all.
So you see, in general, people DO appreciate the "GOOD."
At least when it's GOOD for THEM.
The problem is that:
A. We are living in a VERY CYNICAL society that RUINS people's faith in each other, thereby creating a lot of damaged people, who then damage other people. All this makes it tougher for men and women to be giving to each other.
B: We are also living in a society that pretends it's COOL to "one up" another person, to get the "edge" over the other person in the relationship, just look at all the magazines aimed at men and women, and of course by the way notice how they thrive off making their readers insecure so they will keep on needing to come back.
This kind of "one upmanship" DESTROYS the most vital key to unleashing the deepest levels of passion, and this key is known as TRUST.
It's really bizarre, since the idea of something being "cool" that actually destroys you and your happiness makes no sense at all.
But it's nothing new.
For years, cigarettes were SUCCESSFULLY marketed as cool, even though they cause stinky breath, ruin your lungs, cause you teeth to look ugly and deteriorate and oh yeah, they also cause death.
C: We are also living in a culture that does not EMPHASIZE the POWER and the VALUE of APPRECIATION.
Every once in a while, something happens, be it a piece of music, a film, an event, a true story, SOMETHING, that REMINDS people, men and women, of the power of ULTIMATE LOVE AND ROMANCE, and it shakes them up, but then, most people get emotionally lazy, and they let the jadedness of most people creep into their perspective and ruin the potential for something amazing in their life.
Something so amazing it would be WORTH every last drop of sacrifice and effort.
But then....most people, they start to get lazy and weak. They look for evidence to back up their jaded perspective to justify their existence.
Until once again, something happens to SHAKE up their emotions and REMIND them of something so much greater, something that they know CAN exist. But then again, they lose inspiration because the let the poisonous attitudes of most people creep into their beliefs as well...
All this is what messes so many people up. deep down, on a certain level, we all KNOW it's fundamentally screwed up, but few dare to CHALLENGE it. And yet, if you want a great relationship, a woman of quality in your life, you will have to be THE MAN and lead the way away from the madness.
And good things come to those men with the courage to challenge the insanities of our society. By the way, you don't do this by TALKING directly about it at first, you do this rather by LEADING BY EXAMPLE.
Right now, as a society most people believe that NO ONE will appreciate them for the full person they are. Women who are attractive also fall under this sphere by the way, and in a way they are right, because a lot of men will only be able to view them ONLY as sexual objects, which is just not enough for a human being. It's cool, but not everything.
In fact, kissing up to a woman who is attractive and not mentioning her beauty is in a way making it even MORE CLEAR that the guy is just doing this because she is beautiful. So this stuff is not as simple as it sounds.
But the main thing is that we have a low self-esteem society. This creates a vicious cycle where men and women are too afraid to put their ego on the line, because they don't want to get hurt. And, in order not to get hurt, they never show their appreciation for the other person, because that would make them open to getting unappreciated or hurt or whatever.
And of course, this means that the other person will eventually start to behave in unhealthy ways, since they are being starved off the CONFIRMING FEEDBACK that they NEED as a HUMAN BEING.
When a person is cut off from this "oxygen of the soul", they will feel low self-esteem and will behave in unhealthy ways, such as playing jealousy games or other types of relationship damaging behavior.
You see, as human beings, we will do ANYTHING to get a sense of self-esteem. Sometimes, people are feeling SO LOW IN SELF-ESTEEM that they are even willing to EMBRACE abuse if they think that they can at least get SOME self-esteem reward from it, such as some form of approval from that person!!!!
The games are the product of insecurity.
This is an unhealthy state of affairs.
As such, all the fruits of those games will eventually lead to DOOMSDAY between the man and the woman, even if only ONE of them is playing games, and even sooner if both of them are.
The only hope they have is to both DROP the act as soon as possible.
And ABSOLUTELY, for any LONG TERM relationship, the ego games are doomsday.
I find it really funny that some "seduction experts" say that the key to a successful long term relationship is to first "cycle" endless women through your bedroom, so that you can somehow find the magic woman that way.
It's not about that, it's about INTELLIGENT SCREENING for the kind of woman you want.
It's not about arbitrarily going through every woman on the planet till hopefully something shows up that makes sense.
That could literally take forever, even if you could live for a million years. That's like saying if you just pick up grains of sand on the beach for long enough, eventually you'll find gold.
Not only that, but even if you look at guys like Hugh Hefner, the guy who created Playboy, you see that it did nothing to help him at ALL have a long term relationship or marriage.
When he wanted to get married, and he genuinely did, his marriage didn't last. And if anyone was "cycling" the women, it was certainly him.
And he never even PRETENDED to say that his experiences helped him become better at his relationships.
So there is absolutely zero evidence for "cycling" being a good strategy for getting a woman who is a good prospect for something meaningful.
So let me get to what DOES count, and not just count, but counts a WHOLE LOT:
Especially, mutually SHARED and mutually VALUED trust.
I'm not just talking about that kind of MINIMUM trust that most women need even for a one night stand or for whatever physical thing they are doing.
You see, men AND women can get to the physical stuff pretty fast and DEAL with it not being a necessarily a "serious" thing, but still there needs to be a CERTAIN amount of trust that they will be respected.
So I mean, that level of trust is REALLY EASY. Still though, a lot of guys mess this up, even that minimum level of trust.
But this minimum level of trust is what most of the "get laid experts" make a big deal about. It's really almost nothing, but then again, for a lot of guys, they still didn't realize this, so it's important for them.
But I'm talking about a WHOLE OTHER LEVEL of trust. Like, another UNIVERSE of trust that makes the other level look like a Fisher-Price toy plane for children next to an ACTUAL piece of sophisticated military hardware like an F-16 fighter.
When there is a MUTUAL level of trust of THIS caliber, between a man and a woman who have already ignited the sparks of attraction, you have something VERY, VERY POWERFUL.
This TRUST is about MANY things, that I could not possibly do full justice to in one article. But let me just say that SOME of those things include absolutely never, ever, ever being taken for granted, never being disrespected, never being abandoned, never being disloyal to, on ANY level, etc.
Why is this SO POWERFUL?
Because again, SELF-ESTEEM is the MOST MAGNIFICENT power on earth. People will do ANYTHING for it. It's FAR more powerful than ANYTHING else, than ANY other drive.
People don't realize this, because it's SO POWERFUL that it actually creates NEW EMOTIONS that the person doesn't realize was ACTUALLY CREATED by the self-esteem!
So for example, a lot of people "cheat" because they think they are getting more SEXUAL excitement from someone else.
But what is USUALLY GOING on, is that this OTHER person has given them GREATER SELF-ESTEEM, and THIS makes the receiver of that emotion NOW FEEL MASSIVE SEXUAL CHEMISTRY toward that person!
So what seemed like it was all about S-E-X was actually all about self-esteem.
See, we're living in a society that wants the instant fast food without health repercussions. It wants the orgasm without putting in any thought or time or feeling. It wants CONVENIENCE. It wants sugar without the calories. It wants the fit body without the workout or diet. It wants to take without giving, it wants the double standard. It wants to demand respect without giving it. It wants to be trusted without earning it.
It wants SOMETHING FOR NOTHING.
Now, the IRONY is, that when you are REALLY not looking to take without giving, when you REALLY are not needy but you have high standards for yourself and the people around you, you will be able to excel at ANY type of interactions you want. If you are looking for a one night stand, you can get that super easily. If you are looking for something on a higher level, you will be able to find and attract that as well.
And when you are doing a pick-up on a total stranger who you don't know yet anything about, AGAIN, being a guy who truly understands the concept of being a cool guy, a "bad boy" who is really a sexy damn good guy, a fun wild man with a heart, a man who can be trusted, all this stuff gets COMMUNICATED THROUGH THE MOST SUBTLE things in your demeanor and expression and thoughts--thoughts which end up creating emotions in you, emotions which create the PERFECT THINGS TO SAY FOR THE MOMENT AND FOR THE PERSON, because they are all REAL and genuine. They reflect the way you really feel about yourself, the way you really feel about her. They create the sexual vibe, in both of you.
There's another point I want to get to, which is this whole idea of "cheating".
Once you understand the causes for this stuff, you start to look at it in a very different perspective.
But before I get into that, I just have to nuke some of the hogwash out there. Whenever I hear about people who are trying to brainwash guys into "open relationships" with the logic that "naturally, human beings are polygamous" or with the stats on the high levels of infidelity, I have to wonder what these guys would say in the face of a GRAIN of LOGIC.
I have nothing against open relationships per se, EXCEPT for the fact that I haven't met ONE PERSON on earth who was happy in it long term, male or female.
Also, I notice that usually, the people who are so obsessed with convincing OTHER people that it is the only way to go, are the people who simply cannot get a fantastic woman to stay with them in the first place, or who don't believe they have the value to get a woman who is fantastic to stay with them.
Or they are men who have been hurt badly, which is something I TOTALLY understand, but I also realize that we have to get over our own history.
These guys who obsess with convincing others that they are fools for wanting a relationship, well these "gurus" are the same guys who need to "show off" how many women they have been with.
This is ALWAYS a key symptom of a guy who is NOT happy with the women or woman in his life. The more you VALUE the person you are with, the LESS you want to chalk them up as simply "another notch".
The irony of ironies, is that these are the same guys who keep on saying how important it is to not kiss and tell, meanwhile, they spend ALL their time telling! They have a NEED to tell, because they seek, ironically, the approval of other MEN!!! Never mind that these men are usually CLUELESS and have never been in a satisfying relationship in their LIFE.
Honestly, this social pressure of insecure clueless people that have a need to brainwash others is the thing that I have fought my whole life, so that I could come to conclusions based on my own research and thinking and not based necessarily on what most people are doing around me, not unless it made sense.
So, the only thing "natural" for human beings is EATING and SLEEPING. And even the ways human beings have found to do THAT differ in about a billion ways.
When it comes to everything else, from how we survive in different parts of the world, to how we celebrate, to how we LEARN, to how we spend our every SECOND, to how we relate to each other, to our parents, children, friends, relatives, it's VASTLY different from culture to culture to region to subculture to individual to individual, it's CRAZY different.
And it all feels quite "natural" to each person.
So when it comes to humans, no one can tell anyone what is really the "natural". All because as human beings we have this thing called CREATIVITY which is what makes us both worse and better than most animals. i.e. Animals only kill each other for food for survival, they don't have wars. But humans are able to also help each other on a scale that animals don't.
And, when it comes to STATISTICS on being faithful, well that is REALLY something I laugh my head off when guys try to use that as their model for their own behavior.
You see, if we are going to base our behavior on statistics, well then, MOST PEOPLE don't accomplish their goals in life. MOST people are not too happy. MOST people are overweight. MOST people are not eating right. MOST people never improve their self-esteem much. MOST people never even ATTEMPT to pursue their goals!
So, if we are going to base our LIFE on what MOST people do, then we are in REAL trouble.
I personally don't aim for what MOST people do. If you are reading this article, you are the kind of person who is trying to improve himself in an area that most guys will never work up the courage to do. That makes you already NOT like MOST men.
So, you CAN have WHATEVER type of relationship you WANT, as long as you are not a HYPOCRITE, as long as you don't want something for nothing, as long as you are prepared to LEAD BY EXAMPLE.
Any level of psychological state CAN be achieved, from sustaining attraction to feeling even greater attraction over the long term. It just becomes a simple question of deciding what you WANT, and then doing what is required to get it.
It may take some learning, some skill, some wisdom, but you CAN get it.
And of course, you have to be ready to not waste time on the women who are too emotionally damaged to be able to let go of the toxic attitudes they have received from other damaged people. You give a person a chance, you lead by example, but you can't spend your time on changing a person, as that's a waste of time and doesn't work.
Oh, and about that thing called PASSION?
If you want to have LONG TERM PASSION in a relationship, then ALL THE THINGS I mentioned above become even MORE IMPORTANT.
In the beginning, passion is easy. It's all novelty and new and new stimulation. And that's cool, but not enough for life.
But that doesn't mean passion becomes LESS with time, unless you both get LAZY.
It can actually get BETTER.
Remember what I said about not taking the other for granted?
So, for example, taking your TIME with each other, to heat things up slowly, so that you don't feel like you're on a mission to have to get anywhere in particular. You spend the TIME, so that you both can let your bodies and minds flow and escalate when they FEEL like it.
Forcing something is the best way to create an internal resistance, in yourself as well!
But by just taking your time and chilling with each other and having the right kind of foreplay, and just the RIGHT amount of sexual tension and playfulness and seriousness, and by expressing to each other the most MEANINGFUL AND SINCERE COMPLIMENTS, ranging from the sexual and physical to complimenting the deepest recesses of each other's souls, you both start to fully realize the MASSIVE VALUE you both have in each other, and your mutual self-esteem skyrockets on both sides, which tends to UNLEASH the sexual animal IN BOTH OF YOU as well.
In order to have this kind of relationship, there has to be TOTAL TRUST. This trust was EARNED over the LONG TIME you got to know each other. And when you have this level of trust, you will feel something INSANELY powerful and sexual in you.
And when SHE feels this level of trust in you, she will be able to not only continue to unleash her freakiest side of herself with you as well, but also unleash other parts of her sexual feelings for you that she is only NOW feeling, because these other dimensions of her emotions have now matured into EVEN DEEPER feelings for you.
The highest quality emotions are not developed overnight.
And let me tell you, a lot of the "tactics" out there by "seduction experts" for getting a woman into bed may SOMETIMES work for the short term, but are HORRIBLE for creating REAL trust, and in fact may make the long term level of MAXIMUM trust IMPOSSIBLE.
While, on the other hand, if you do things the RIGHT way, you can get a woman physical with you fast, and ALSO have the level of trust to take things to a higher level as well, and not ruin the potential for the ultimate level connection later.
The key is you can't FAKE it. You either mean it or you don't. And for guys who really don't mean it, it's no wonder the girls are taking off and never coming back.
So, for example, even if you are just doing a pick-up with a total stranger, STILL the deeper vibes of trust will ONLY help you. Because, your beliefs and attitudes will be INJECTED into your tonality and your expression, and I must say, this has NOTHING to do with being NEEDY.
A lot of guys will MISREAD this advice and think that the trust thing is about going up to a girl at a bar and telling her you don't want to just use her. That is absolutely NOT COOL and absolutely NOT what I mean at all.
Rather, for example, let's say you open up the chat with "What you buy yourself a drink, and not even me, a cool sexy stranger?" And she giggles and gives you whatever friendly/playful response back. The KEY though is that the way you SAID it was along the vibes of being playful, AND your tonality was ALSO saying "Hey, you do realize that if I'm TALKING to you, on some level I must be INTERESTED, I'm just keeping this FUN and not too serious".
And then from there, you are now in close to her, maybe gliding your finger up her arm gently, maybe a bit of a sly smile, but sexual too, and she asks you about yourself. So, by responding with something that says you DON'T take yourself too seriously, i.e. "I'm a mannequin for a store" you show that you are not so insecure as to have to need to get her to WORSHIP you, which ironically is actually showing massive security and playfulness, which actually is a huge turn on and a sign of what I have for YEARS called "SUPERIOR INTRINSIC VALUE".
It's INTRINSIC because it's not about your money or your fame or anything like that, it's about YOU, it's YOUR identity she is attracted to.
And it's not only sexier, but this type of behavior of not showing off your job also makes it easier for a woman to TRUST that you are not some guy who would try to use his power or titles to make her feel BAD. This actually makes you seem COOLER too, as if to say you know you have enough s-e-x appeal to not have to resort to artificial things.
So what starts to happen now is that she feels ATTRACTION, and NOW it's up to you to not screw it up on a deeper level, if you want to take things there. A lot of guys don't know where to draw the line one the playful stuff, they don't understand that the playful is not a tactic, it's an EMOTION, and when you are bonding on a higher level, there are OTHER emotions as well, such as deeper levels of trust where it becomes important to communicate THAT stuff. And then AFTER that you can go back to the playful stuff again.
And I'm telling you that this can ALL be done in a way that feels VERY instinctive. You just have to be open to do some cool LEARNING. It's not that hard, I mean it, but it DOES take an open mind and it DOES take practice.
So, if you're looking for the FULL SPECTRUM EXPERIENCE with the woman of your choice, including the building of a one-in-a-BILLION level intensity connection, and if you're looking to be able to BE all the cool things from sharp and witty and sexual and fun and wild and unpredictable and trustworthy and challenging and naughty and being able to say all the right things at ANY time with ANY woman, you OWE IT TO YOURSELF to get the BEST RESOURCE ON THE PLANET for success in this area:
This program contains the GOLD LEVEL insights that I spent YEARS dedicated to achieving, by learning from being out there in the real world of women and also from spending DAY AND NIGHT thinking about it from every possible angle as well, using every bit of knowledge and experience I had.
When I say YEARS, that's not marketing hyperbole. Instead of churning out dozens of "rehashed" ideas every few weeks like is the norm in the "seduction" field, I actually did nothing ELSE but RESEARCH and REAL WORK on this topic. No other materials were released in all that time, because I was obsessed with working on THIS project. A project that actually takes human understanding of this topic to a whole new level.
That's why my work stands out as the cream of the crop in this field. Not having this program at your fingertips is a crime against yourself.
If you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that now. This book is where the journey STARTS, and is ESPECIALLY important if you suspect you might be a "nice guy".
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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