One of the great things you know from my services and material is that it's all based on REAL interactions with women, and not just my own, but thousands of other guys of all types. So it's not just some dude at a word processor. The interesting thing I notice about a LOT of what is out there in terms of information is that they are often pointing out ONE thing without mentioning the OTHER important factors that are MASSIVELY related. They are just throwing out half-truths, but never putting it all together because they actually don't KNOW how to put it all together!!!
I KNOW this field because I EXPERIENCE IT and DO THIS STUFF ALL THE TIME. And I know what it's like to NOT know this stuff since I had to learn it all myself. So I can truly relate to the guys who are coming at this even at the total newbie stage.
I do this stuff all the time because I PERSONALLY am fascinated by this field, and I believe it is of MASSIVE IMPORTANCE for any good guys out there. Being successful with women enables good guys to get AWAY from the wrong kind of women, the wrong kind of emotions, and gets them into better situations with better women in better relationships, and all that leads to better lives. It really is amazing how once you begin to understand attraction in a powerful way, you start to understand the entire mentality of women who are able to attract men which is itself a huge epiphany and discovery.
But it takes learning the FULL TRUTH about how attraction, cultural norms, and trust works, before that epiphany makes itself clear.
For example, you hear about "being yourself" a lot. That is partially TRUE. However, the problem with just telling people to "be their self" is: What if their CURRENT self is a TERRIBLE version of their self? What if their current self has NO IDEA of what it's like to be MASSIVELY EMPOWERED? What if their current self is IGNORANT about the realities of women? What if their current self is FREAKED OUT by the thought of approaching women or escalating into getting physical?
You see, what the "being yourself" advice REALLY means is to NOT come across to women as some guy putting on an ACT.
Women want to feel they are talking to the REAL YOU. That makes sense doesn't it? Don't you hate it when you know someone is just ACTING with you and not being their real self? Doesn't it feel weird?
And it's usually very obvious to a woman when a guy is not being his real self. He is usually doing things that are incongruent. i.e. He acts cocky but his body language and tonality say otherwise. Or, because he doesn't REALLY understand what it means to be a fun cocky guy, he goes overboard and comes across as a total jerk, or total dork, and since women know that there's no way on earth he would WANT to be coming across as such a clueless dork who can't get women, then obviously he is ignorant about women and is covering it up with some kind of act.
But being yourself that DOES NOT mean being lazy! FIRST, IMPROVE your understanding of women, your understanding of the social forces acting upon women, learn how to make people and especially women feel GOOD, learn how to assess a social situation and know what is happening, learn what attraction really is, learn how to trigger it, and THEN you can be YOURSELF.
THEN you can be natural because you have IMPROVED yourself so that all that you do now is all "good" stuff which comes naturally without you even thinking about it. The idea about being your real self is about being your OPTIMUM SELF. Then you can be your real self.
And just like how THIS piece of information of "be yourself" or even worse, "be your romantic self" gets thrown about wildly without any context, so too does MOST of the information being published out there lack context. In that sense, it's almost MISINFORMATION.
Another example of misinformation is the idea of "BEING ALPHA": Too many guys think this means to act like a total selfish prick. Wrong again. For instance, let's say there are two girls you and a buddy are talking to at a club. And you isolate one of the girls and she's having a great time with you. Then for some reason she sees her friend and says she needs to get back to her friend.
Now, if you follow the "ALPHA" school of thought, you might basically act like a prick and tell her that you are more important or that she should ignore her friend, or you should try to "caveman" her into not seeing how her friend is doing. Well guess what? All this DEPENDS on a TON of things. You see, if she CAME with that friend, and you isolated her from her friend, even if you did it with the help of your wingman, it might be that her friend is no longer with your wingman and now has nothing to do. Girls don't ditch their only girlfriend that fast. But that's just the tip of the iceberg- let's say you can OBVIOUSLY tell that her friend is having a bad day, and let's say your girl even TELLS you that her friend is having a bad day and it's obvious she is not telling you a lie from the way her friend seems, it would be STUPID to try to act all "Alpha" and tell her to ignore her friend because of YOU.
THAT is why I keep on saying to be THE MAN. Not the jerk, not the alpha, but THE MAN. James Bond would never be a prick to a woman. He is THE MAN.
He has no need to be a prick, to be cruel, or to be thoughtless.
He is also sophisticated enough to know human emotions, and how social forces work, and how to make people feel good, and how to not come across like some clueless savage. He is also confident enough that the woman will SEE this in him, and thus confident enough that she wants him, and will meet him later. And of course, he is not needy for any of this either since there are so many other options available.
Sometimes, the best thing to do really is to just get her number or email and follow up. And by showing your obvious understanding of human emotions and that you have your finger on the pulse of the situation, that in itself makes you seem truly THE MAN, and the superior, more attractive and desirable choice.
And there are tons of other examples of misinformation, such as those who claim "the direct approach" to interacting with women is better than the "indirect approach". Again, it all DEPENDS on a lot of factors, including who the girl is, her state of mind at the moment, the amount of time you both have at the moment, the environment you both are in, what you are most comfortable with, and a ton of other factors.
The only way to KNOW all of this is from actually learning it from someone who REALLY KNOWS from experience and also you must ACTUALLY PRACTICE to get the skills ingrained.
Finally, there is also a huge deal of confusion over what it actually means to be a guy in CONTROL. Again, this is why I say be THE MAN. Women are looking for men, not "nice guys" or "jerks" as both nice guys and jerks are just flip sides of insecurity. So, for example, if you are in a club and it's too loud, then by gosh darn's sake, you're going to have to learn to talk LOUDER in a way that doesn't seem like you are straining or stressing yourself out. Or you're going to have to know a way to get her to a place that's QUIETER.
And if you are both standing somewhere, you're going to have to get yourselves both seated if possible, and you're going to have to do all this in a way that feels natural and fun and not weird.
Don't expect HER to do all this for you. That's why you're A MAN. That's why she's attracted to THE MAN. This is the privilege you get in this culture for being A MAN- you get to actually STEER this rollercoaster while she gets to RIDE it. But don't expect HER to steer. Women are ATTRACTED to men who know how to take control in a way that is FUN like a rollercoaster as opposed to dorks who act like assholes.
There's a ton of situations where you really have to know HOW to steer, how to navigate your way through. Women want men who KNOW how to steer, who already HAVE the license to drive, so to speak. If THEY have to be the ones teaching you, they feel like you are NOT the MAN, they feel a bit guilty too because of various social forces, they feel less feminine also if they have to do all this. And finally, they wonder if the reason they have to show you all this is because you really don't know or if it's REALLY because you are simply unprepared to risk rejection, which is not cool at all, it's not the way of The Man.
Download it now at:
Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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