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Disarm And Charm Her

Author: Michael W

Recently, I was interviewed by a journalist in the city, and I was explaining how ironic it is that in cities with millions of people crammed together, every day in places like public transit, there is still so much loneliness.

There are people EVERYWHERE, and still so many people cannot find someone to love and to be loved by.

People can spend an hour crushed together on a streetcar, train, or bus, and not utter one WORD to each other, and go home alone, night after night, simply because we are living in a culture that is anti-social. It's okay to watch tv alone for hours or to surf the net alone, but to talk to someone in real life, someone that you don't know? Heaven forbid, right?

It's all NONSENSE, though, because the truth is that there are MANY women, many awesome women in fact, who would WELCOME the conversation from you.

The key is to do it RIGHT.

And one of the FIRST things you need to do, to do it right, is to be DISARMING and CHARMING.

Unless you're talking in a nightclub, where the atmosphere is already very social, when you're in normal places like the bus or coffee shop, women have been conditioned to be a little cautious for good reasons, after all there are a lot of less than virtuous men out there just as there are a lot of less than virtuous women out there.

So how can you immediately DISARM and CHARM her?

Well, one idea that works is for you to draw upon POSITIVE VIBES that she herself can IMMEDIATELY recognize and feel and relate to.

In the same way you wouldn't be able to relate to a woman talking to you about the finer applications of lipstick, you shouldn't expect most women to be identify with demolition derby, star trek, or some obscure Bruce Lee movie. Also, there is no point in starting a conversation with a woman about anything BORING, even if she can relate to it.

You can STILL totally be yourself and disarm her and charm her, and you can do this by playfully bringing up topics that are both INNOCENT and FUNNY, and you can give these topics a flirtatious TWIST.

One idea I love and that works with fantastic consistency, is to bring up TV SHOWS from childhood that chances are you both liked, and then offer a playful sexual perspective on the show, or even a playful perspective on the show from the standpoint of male and female gender roles.

I call it "Innocent Adult Views On Childhood TV!"

It's important to remember that it must still be INNOCENT, and yet ALSO be ADULT. This is a fine line that most people overlook.

I mean, who CAN'T like The Flintstones?
Who CAN'T like Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, and Ernie and Bert???

Okay fine, maybe some people can't, but I don't want anything to do with those people, that's for sure!

If a woman does not "get this", it immediately screens her OUT, as you don't want a woman without a sense of humor, or a woman who is bitter and no fun.

So here's just one EXAMPLE of how "Innocent Adult Views On Childhood TV" works to disarm her and charm her:
"Excuse me, I have a very serious question I need the answer to. Could you help me out?"

(This SERIOUS tonality at the start is done on purpose because it makes it all the more FUNNY when she finds out in about three seconds from the topic that actually this is NOT serious at all!)

So she nods to you, or says, "Ok sure", etc.

You then go on with:
"See, I was wondering, if you were to choose one of the two, would you marry Fred Flintstone or Barney Rubble? This is very serious."

As she starts to crack a smile, you keep a straight face and give her a sec to answer.

If she laughs, you continue to let her know this is very important and serious and that you need the answer.

If she then says that she would choose Fred, you tell her "Oh man, this would never work out with you and me, Fred is far too normal, goes to work every day, very reliable good guy, far too much pressure for me. I'm more of a Barney Rubble type dude, I just go for a drive in the morning but don't actually work anywhere, and I need a woman like Betty who is more cool and who can help me in my underground illegal businesses!"

Chances are, she WILL be laughing by now, and that is not only because this stuff is funny, but because the MEMORIES of childhood and of that show are triggering POSITIVE EMOTIONS in her, and it's hard to view you as a THREAT if you are being associated in her mind with Barney or Fred or the Flintstones.

By the way, if she says she would choose Barney, you could high-five her and tell her she is SUCH a cool girl. (Totally over exaggerate, which only HEIGHTENS the humor because even though she knows you are kidding, it still feels GOOD for her, since she feels, even if just playfully, that she EARNED this respect because of her choice, she didn't just get this high-five for nothing, but rather because of her great taste in choosing a man- BARNEY RUBBLE! People appreciate what they EARN!)

And you could then go on to tell her why she is so cool, because she is like Betty, who was cool with Barney not having a real job all day and that you plan to do the same thing and just watch TV all day!

Then you can add the final kicker and say that you two are TOTALLY GETTING MARRIED asap!

She will NOT think you are needy, she will KNOW you are being playful.

So there, all at once, you have DISARMED her, and you have CHARMED her.

This is just ONE example, there about a BILLION other versions that you could create, (and you could make them even MORE powerful by incorporating into your examples all the OTHER skills I teach in my programs and materials.)

The first key to remember is to use something from CHILDHOOD TV, something that is FAMOUS so that she ALREADY is very familiar with it so that you don't have to waste time explaining all the details. You want her to GET IT immediately, so it's key you use something that she will KNOW.

The second key to remember about this idea is to give the whole discussion an ADULT twist.

The third key is to remember to NOT GO OVERBOARD with the adult twist. In other words, KEEP IT ALL INNOCENT. I see so many guys going way too far into the land of the VULGAR and that totally RUINS the whole effect, the whole point of the idea in the first place.

And remember to be CONGRUENT with your own personality. If you never watched the Flintstones, then don't use that example. There are so many shows that you could choose from, it's ridiculous. And the truth is that it doesn't even have to be TV. It could be some kind of popular SNACK that was famous for kids back when you were a child.

Maybe the snack came with some really LAME gift, or some offer for a free gift if you sent in about a "thousand" proofs of purchase, (exaggerate for effect) that at the time seemed REALLY cool, that you could discuss and twist in playful way. For example, you could tell her that you only like adventurous girls, and that you are looking for a partner in crime, to steal the toys from the cereal boxes in the supermarket. And you can tease her that she is too much of a wuss to be up for it, etc. Or you can tease her that you know she would do it for some prize from the Strawberry Shortcake cereal!

From there, now that you have her disarmed and charmed, it's going to be MUCH easier to get into rapport with her and to get into a real conversation of getting to know each other, now that you both have your "guard" down.

You've displayed guts, humor, charm, and you've taken her into a receptive state of mind.

Get the idea?
It's gold, and I guarantee you IT WORKS.

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Till next time,

Michael W

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