***Letter From A Reader***
After reading so many of your articles on the net, I swear that your eBook will be the last dating book I'll ever buy. Unfortunately, I've been ripped by so many traditional dating books already. Sigh...
Anyway, I've 2 questions in mind. First, is it ok for us to be emotionally vulnerable when women shares sensitive stuff with us? Second, is it ok to force a woman to comply with something that we wanna do but it is not what she wants? Is this a way of dominance? It'll be great if you notify me when you receive this note...
Thanks a Million!!!
Thanks for your letter. I know that some of the material out there is way off or just plain confusing.
I've done my best to make things clear and practical, and I've not diluted any material - it's hard core truth, whether any woman wants to agree with it publicly or not.
Also, I've been careful not to make sweeping statements- not all women are bad, it's just that most women who can be called "physically attractive" have been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too spoiled by most guys.
In your letter you wrote:
"Anyway, I've 2 questions in mind. First, is it ok for us to be emotionally vulnerable when women shares sensitive stuff with us?"
The answer is that if she is sharing sensitive stuff, and especially if this is early on in your dating stage with a particular woman, it should be HER making herself emotionally vulnerable.
There is no need to make YOURSELF emotionally vulnerable, and I would recommend that if a woman makes herself emotionally vulnerable, just be decent and listen, but don't melt down and start telling her your emotional vulnerabilities.
She'll think you are a WUSS if you start becoming emotional.
Also, be careful about becoming a woman's therapist. It's one thing to listen to her when she is expressing herself and her love to you, it's something else when she is becoming emotional in the sense of always crying to you about all her problems.
Don't get me wrong:
When a woman has truly earned your trust, it only makes sense that you will be there to support her and vice versa. But too many guys become targets of women who are just looking to use some desperate guy for his attention and sympathy, while they then have "fun" with the guy who has no time for their problems.
This is where it becomes crucial to use DUE DILIGENCE to determine the kind of woman you are dealing with.
Too many women are looking to guys as limitless blacks hole to dump all their problems and frustrations on.
If she starts to go on and on, and you hardly know her, just tell her that Dr. Phil is covering her issue today. Even if you do know her well, many women will still try to exploit the sympathy factor.
It's a fine line, but you have to make sure that you are not being used as a male girlfriend. I know too many guys who felt sorry for a girl they met, and started listening to all her problems, and helping her, only for the woman to take him for granted, and ultimately kill the attraction she felt.
So: Absolutely, do NOT be so quick to become her therapist, and also, if she is getting emotional and sharing her feelings about you, still, I advise you to be careful before melting and doing the same.
Women take it for granted that you will melt, and when you do, you become low value, low on the attraction scale. You become like every other guy.
So don't show your vulnerabilities to a woman, ever. Do NOT make yourself open to an attack. TRUST ME, with most women, they WILL just use that as an opportunity to exploit, or they will lose some respect for you.
You don't have to be a jerk, just don't spill your guts just because she is. And if she REALLY has a problem, and if she has earned your trust, then make sure she knows that you are only going to help her solve the specific problem and you are NOT going to be her therapist.
Regarding your second question:
"Second, is it ok to force a woman to comply with something that we wanna do but it is not what she wants? Is this a way of dominance?"
No. Forcing is NOT the way of THE MAN. It's NOT the way of dominance.
Forcing only creates RESISTANCE anyway.
The way to get a woman to do what you want is to simply make her damn attracted to you, by using all the various methods I speak and write about.
Dominance, which is a part of creating attraction, comes from LEADING the way, from making decisions, and from always being in control of your emotions, and from living YOUR life and being happy with yourself, and not seeking her approval. So for example, you make the decision where you are going on a date, you lead the way for the first kiss, etc. And then you can ease up, as they follow your lead.
And then again you lead a little, and then ease up to make it clear you are not forcing... and then you lead again...etc etc.
Think of dominance as all the behaviours that flow from the attitude that you are living YOUR life, and never seeking her approval for what you do. When a woman sees that you don't need her approval, and that you live your life that way, she feels not only lucky that she has some super sexy dude, but she also feels the femininity that comes from being with a dominant man.
It makes her feel like you cannot be controlled by anyone, and that makes her feel safe and also feminine.
Thanks for your letter, it's a perfect example of the type of situation that a guy finds when he's looking to be with a woman long term.
***REALITIES GUYS NEED TO KNOW ABOUT WOMEN'S SOPs.***
It's crucial to know the REALITIES about women's Standard Operating Procedures for "relationships".
As guys, unless we're fortunate enough to have been shown the ropes by someone, we have NO CLUE about how women manipulate guys once they are in a relationship. Even if the guy is cool, and has self-esteem, unless he has INSIDE KNOWLEDGE, there's just no way in hell that he would be able to guess the truth.
So for the sake of all those guys, this article is going to give a snapshot of what happens. Okay, so you have a dude. Let's say he's not even a geek. He doesn't kiss up, he's got a sense of humor. The woman quickly falls for him, because she feels his challenging behavior is proof that he is the SUPERIOR guy, and both he and the chick have fun.
She is having fun, because as opposed to all the other guys who she COULD HAVE, this guy seems to be a CHALLENGE. In other words, she's not sure if she can really "get him". The woman starts to feel massive emotion for him, and tells him. She hopes he will melt for her. She is excited. If he does not melt for her, she will often show tears, or make him jealous by mentioning other men who want her. But she is still excited.
If he does melt for her and tells her how much he loves her, blah blah blah, the happy ending lasts for about 24 hours. She is in bliss, because she GOT something that she thought for a brief moment she could NOT have. But pretty soon, though, the chick loses her appreciation for him, bit by bit, unless he keeps himself a challenge i.e. PLAYS GAMES.
Because chicks are spoiled and have too many guys hitting on them.
Simple fact of life.
A consequence of a culture where men chase women, and women just stand around. These women just haven't yet had to learn the lesson of appreciation. They truly believe that if you were a desirable guy, then you would not be so easy to get, and vice versa: that if you are not easy to get, you MUST be a desirable guy.
Nobody said these beliefs were CORRECT, but the fact is these ARE the beliefs most women have about men.
So, when a woman feels she has a guy conquered, she does something a bit disrespectful, and figures she'll see if she gets away with it. Maybe she starts to get lazy and doesn't call him when she says she will. Maybe she flirts with the waiter at their table. Maybe she acts cold. If she DOES get away with it, she figures she will try to get away with more and more.
So she will do things like go "clubbing" with her friends to meet more guys "innocently". That way she can have her cake and eat it too. Of course, if HE does a similar action, she will threaten to remove his genitals. She will pretend that she truly is innocent and he is truly guilty.
And most guys buy her story 100%.
Her defense will be that she enjoys dancing, and she only goes to clubs to dance, while her boyfriend is a "pig" out to pick up girls. And if he allows it, she will tell him how she needs money for this and that, and how tough her life was/is/will be, etc. And of course, if the dude is foolish enough to feel sorry for her and get her this thing or that thing, he only exacerbates the problem.
And of course, eventually she "cheats" on him, either physically or emotionally. The truth is, he has been "cheated" on morally from the moment she stopped RESPECTING him FULLY. The reality is that most women will not be intelligent choices for relationships.
You will constantly have to play the game of being what she can't have while at the same time giving her enough to whet her appetite and keep her chasing you. I know this is not what most guys consider a relationship.
The truth is that if you want a relationship, you will have to have INCREDIBLY high character standards and self-discipline. And you'll need to know the games women play so you can spot them right on.
For example, a woman can cry on demand, much like a tap can be relied upon to give you water upon demand. For a woman, crying is often just a form of currency. If crying will make you feel sorry for her, will make you forgive her for unforgivable actions, will make you buy things for her, or will make you kiss up to her in any other way, she will most certainly cry.
Women also know most men's reactions to being made jealous. You will have to be able to have enough self-esteem to realize that her games have nothing to do with your innate level of desirability.
I get a lot of emails from guys who want to know how to get back "this one girl"- and usually after finding out how she treated him, my response is "WHY?" I mean why on earth does a guy want a woman who abuses him? This whole phenomenon comes from the BELIEFS you hold.
It's easy to get the WRONG beliefs in a culture that tells you your self-esteem should be based on how many women you can attract.
But it's FALSE.
Your self-esteem is 100% independent and has nothing to do with how many chicks you attract. And of course, the irony is, that once you detoxify your mind and you actually discover that what I have said is TRUE, you will find that women will want you even MORE, because you are the one thing they can't get: A GUY WHO DOESN'T NEED THEM!
Yeah, I know it sounds crazy, but you have to picture the reality of these women and all the guys who are kissing up to them. The opposite would be true if most guys were jerks. If most guys were jerks, then a woman would search her brains out for a way to meet a good guy.
But knowing how to attract a woman does not mean that you should WANT to attract every woman who is "hot".
If you want a relationship, you need to use DUE DILIGENCE and carefully observe her behavior. You must find out if she has learned her lessons and if she is attracted to a man who is good for her, or if she only wants what she can't have.
And if you're reading this right now, and would like to learn more about how women REALLY behave, the games most women play, what to watch out for, and how to attract a woman that you REALLY want to meet, then I recommend you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
Download it now at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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