My pick-ups have started with conversations that ranged from playful and teasing stuff about The Flintstones and whether the girl in front of me would be more into Barney or into Fred, and just playing with that in all kinds of ways, to totally different types of vibes about deep intriguing stuff about emotions and psychology.
To get to that point I did start with steps. And I started with realizing some important facts as well as gaining certain skills.
In addition to learning the skills of pick-up, it's important to also know the facts of pick-up. The facts will help your skills, and the skills will help you get perspective on the facts.
Otherwise, you can be wasting time and getting less than stellar results, which will make you doubt yourself and weaken your inner game.
1. First of all, if you are in a nightclub environment, you can usually physically escalate faster and harder. This leads to crucial fact Number Two:
2. The reason you can escalate faster at a club, is because when girls go out to a club, they are usually going to meet guys. They are going to bond with their girlfriends and have a good time, sure, but they are also going to meet guys, for certain. Combine that with the next fact:
3. That the girls have all had at least a couple of drinks and are at least a bit tipsy, and the fact they are in an environment that is highly sexualized, with fun and music and dancing, etc., and it all adds up to one thing, our next very important fact:
4. The women are already in a sexual state in a club. So they are more receptive to harder physical escalation.
5. When you pick up a girl, it's pretty much the same skillset no matter where you are, but you have to be aware of the environment because if a girl is already in a more happy and sexual state, then you going into the interaction in a good mood and in high sexual state is the perfect thing to do.
But if you do the same thing in a bookstore, with the exact same attitude and smile, the girl might think you are weird, gay, submissive, or she thinks that you assume she's going to **** you on the spot or something.
A girl will call this "presumptuous".
That's because you've skipped a stage. A stage that the club partially already accomplishes for you, but the bookstore, mall, etc, does NOT.
So you have to be aware of the basic structure of how a woman goes from zero to sex. The club speeds things up.
But even there, to be honest, you have to calibrate, as some girls will still need you to slow it down some, contrary to pick-up artist folklore and music videos and publicity campaigns.
Also, sometimes even the girls who are ready to go into a more sexual state at a club, (not sex, just sexual) will be turned off if you come into the interaction with a smile.
They will see it as you not being hard to get. If you want a good rule of thumb, just make sure to open the interaction with dominance in your voice and a relaxed look on your face, you can have a smile but don't force that damn smile the whole conversation. You can be in a great mood without having to smile a lot.
Think of the way you might be feeling after sex with a girl you like. You are chilled out and in a good mood. Not smiling like a clown!
So the order of how a woman goes from zero to sex hasn't changed, but in a club, the club has speeded things up, and also it has attracted the girls who are ready to be picked up, and are looking to be picked up. You just have to do it right.
6. Now, there are always exceptions, but if you do hardcore physical escalation at a bookstore, or café etc, during the daytime, it will usually blow you out.
That's because the girl is not yet ready for that, it's too far away state-wise at that moment.
You're going to have to get her comfortable with you first and feeling some connection and getting to some more privacy before you can effectively get physical.
Also, even at clubs, not all girls will escalate hard core, it depends on the girl. By hard core, I mean making out with you, etc. And even if you can make out with a girl at a club, it's not always the smartest thing to do, as if she does not go home with you that night, and she's more of a normal girl, she might feel pretty bad about getting all physical with you in the club. So, she will avoid your calls the next day.
7. Another critical and related fact is that if you are just starting out learning these skills, it's good to go to a place where there are lots of girls who are both hot and also available.
That way, you can get some positive results rather quickly, even if she isn't your ideal vision of your dream girl personality. Which helps your inner game, and of course that will lead to even better actual results.
This is why clubs are a good practice place, because there are many girls there, in one place, and the vast majority of them are there to meet guys whether they say it or not.
And even if you are looking for the kind of girl that has long term potential, you might even meet her there too as well. Practically all girls go to clubs, pubs, lounges, etc. The key factor here is if she is a party girl who lives just for that, or if it's just something she does as one of many ways to socialize and to meet guys.
If you are new to learning these skills, and you avoid clubs altogether, you can still learn, but you are going to have to find some other place where there are lots of girls to practice on.
Even then, the chances of all these girls being single or looking for a guy are not as high as in a club, because the very nature of clubs is sexual and is about guys and girls meeting, even if most guys don't successfully meet because of a lack of skills. It's still the reason guys and girls go.
So, if you are doing pick-up at a mall, it might take you a lot longer to:
A - find a girl who is attractive to you, and
B - find a girl who also happens to not be seriously tied up in a relationship that she is happy with. This is why in real life having these skills is great because you don't have to especially go to the mall to meet a girl, but when you happen to be anywhere- Starbucks, the post office, the supermarket, the mall, and you happen to see a girl you like, you can then immediately take action.
Rather than actually going to the mall only to meet a girl as an activity in itself. That can waste a lot of time. But by learning the skills at a club, and then using the skills whenever you happen to meet a girl anywhere, you save yourself time.
Of course, in my bootcamps, I train guys in all environments, from clubs to major malls to the street, so that they won't feel the skills are limited just to clubs and so their frame of reference for the training won't be limited. This way, by training in all environments, you know that it works everywhere. The fact is, it works everywhere, but it's nice to know it by actually doing it.
But again, when you are first learning the skills, it's a great idea to practice in clubs, because if you are only practicing in places like the mall, you are going to run into several issues:
Often, the pickup is more difficult, because she is rushing through the mall, walking fast, and here you are stopping her. She is not ready for it, and it can seem weird to her.
Approaching a girl at a club is normal, even though so few guys do it right. It's socially "permissible". And the girls at clubs are totally there to be picked up, unless they are there with their serious long term relationship boyfriend, etc.
So if you are not going to do clubs, then any place like some kind of exhibition or amusement park where there are tons of girls, is the way to get started, so that you can get some positive results quickly. As opposed to going to the mall and waiting an hour for the next girl.
That being said, at the mall, you can pick up a girl who is hot and who is in middle of walking/moving, but the results are not as consistent as picking up a girl who is in the club.
Now, me, personally, I don't care what the stats are, if I see a girl I like anywhere, I'll go for it and enjoy the process.
This attitude is actually part of the "formula" for success, but you don't need to have that immediately.
Yes, the only way to maximize your results is to go for it, and not give yourself excuses.
And thanks to this attitude, I have met some pretty cool women in total non-club environments as well. But the fact is, not as many of the girls there are available as when you are in a club. And there are not as many girls to begin with there, so it can take a while to you meet one you are really interested in.
But, the thing is, if you are new to this game, you might find it unpleasant and take it personally if it doesn't go well, even though it has nothing to do with you and your worth as a person, because not only is it about your skills and not you as a person, but it's also about whether she is in a happy relationship or not.
But as a beginner, you might still feel bad somehow, because you don't believe it.
So, it's good for your inner game to get some results ASAP, so it's good to kind of play the basics before going to play the hardest stuff.
By the way, I'm talking especially about girls moving in the mall. If a girl is standing at some magazine rack, it's a lot easier. Not guaranteed of course, but easier. It's easier because it's more normal to have a conversation that way, than it is for her to be stopped by a guy while she is rushing with her bags etc.
And if she is hot, she knows why you are stopping her while she is walking. So if you give her the logical excuse of something like looking for directions, it has to be done with the kind of confident vocal tonality that clearly indicates you are not afraid of chatting to her, but rather that you are offering her a tactful way to go about the pick up because you don't want her to feel cheap.
Otherwise, you come across as weak. And that of course destroys attraction.
What I do in Bootcamp is go to the busiest malls, and if one place isn't happening, I will move to another place, i.e. the food court, the bookstores, the cafes, the department stores, etc. And if that mall isn't happening, we will go right out on the street or skip to another busy mall. Similarly, if you are at a place to meet women, and there aren't any that you are interested in, then leave to somewhere else. You will learn also that different places have different times of day when they are best to go to.
9. Doing pick up is actually not common. At least not doing it well. This is what tends to make guys feel weird about doing pick-up. There is a social pressure to not do pick-up, especially in places or situations that are not common.
But the thing is, if you surround yourself with guys who do pick-up, you have a counter-social pressure.
In fact, besides the massive skills and insights on pick-up and attraction that you gain from my materials and taking any of my programs, you also get the counter-social pressure from me being by your side either physically in my bootcamp, or metaphorically through my materials that are there to show you every step of the way.
Environment is a big thing, any psychologist can confirm this and you know this yourself from your own experience. It's the reason a lot of people actually get depressed around the holidays, it's because they keep thinking everyone else is having a great time, so the gap in how they feel and how they think they are "supposed" to feel, leaves them depressed. Environment is everything.
The more you immerse yourself in the right environment, the more natural you will feel adopting those behaviors. In fact, after soaking yourself in my programs and materials, you will then feel "weird" only if you do not do pick-up! I'm completely serious about this.
Another really important point about pick-up:
9. If you don't really learn to feel good about yourself, then you won't enjoy so much as the thought of sex or enjoy a woman, and you won't enjoy the process of learning these skills which may lead to giving up, and also without feeling good about yourself you won't correctly apply a lot of the things you learn.
You'll misinterpret tons of things. You'll hear ideas about teasing a girl, and you'll turn it into something mean. You'll be having great rapport at the right time with a woman and then ruin it because you are feeling that you gave her too much. You'll take everything women say the wrong way, and you'll also be doing everything with the wrong vibe, because you are coming from the wrong place internally and women will be able to sense it. Which leads me to our final point:
You see, the truth is that this process of learning these skills can be a whole lot of fun! And when you are feeling good, you are going to also get better results.
The reason why you might not find it fun is because of the associations you have made to the process - i.e. that it has to be tough, that it has to be painful, that girls are mean, that girls will reject you, that if a girl doesn't give you her number it must be something to do with your inherent worth rather than anything else, etc.
But the truth is, when it comes to attracting women, in a way you're overqualified but you don't even realize it, so you are acting as if you underqualified.
If you didn't have the natural stuff it takes, you would not be here today.
It's in your genes, man.
It's natural, it's part of our million year old hardwiring, to enjoy the whole process of meeting and having sex with a woman! If it wasn't, none of us would be here!
Yes, there is outer technique to this stuff, especially in the beginning, and you can't be "Mr. Nice Guy" for sure, but the outer technique stuff becomes less and less as your inner game expands.
Your inner game is actually the real you that evolution designed so that you mate. It's in you right now, it's just been buried deep by all kinds of brainwashing and distorted messages that were sent to you by ignorant folks -- everyone from the media to some of the people you have interacted with long ago to some of the people you interact with everyday! So it's messed up your concepts and instincts about how to effectively pick up and keep a woman.
And I don't just mean that it's in your genes in a caveman sort of way, although to be honest that is part of it. What I also mean is that the vibes you need for pickup, the vibe of being in a good mood, a playful mood, and yet a masculine mood, even the natural instinct of when to build connection with a girl, all that is really the natural part of you, but you have gotten tied up into the Matrix and bought into the wrong beliefs which create the wrong emotions and ultimately
the wrong reality for you.
You can change all that.
It's up to you.
This is serious inner game work.
You see, biology is constantly interacting with sociology, and just like social conditioning has affected you one way and taken you away from your instincts, I can actually take you back to your instincts, in a way I will be serving as your new social force who also happens to have years of experience teaching guys how to master these skills as efficiently as possible. And this time, we're going in the direction your instinct really has wanted to go with the entire time.
This inner game is about more than just confidence. It's more than just recognizing your own value. It's also about feeling a certain way and realizing on a deep internal level the nature of sexuality, and how being "nice" in that cliché sense is simply not natural and not sexy.
Once you start to get all this, then you will be able to learn way faster. You will learn the perfect balance of dominance, sexuality, teasing, and being a positive person without being a "weak" nice guy.
Positive is good and sexy.
Weak is not good and not sexy.
Techniques help, for sure.
But inner game is crucial.
And on that note, if you want to learn all the most important "techniques" and develop an inner game that is more powerful than you could possibly imagine, then you seriously owe it to yourself to own my Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program CD Set.
With this Program, you will have at your fingertips, 24/7, the most comprehensive and empowering resource on the planet for seriously taking your success with women to the next level.
And if you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that first. This book is the foundation on which all my other programs build upon. You can download it within minutes of now, and start using it to attract the women of your choice today.
Download it now at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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