One of the contradictions to being good with women is that while on one hand you have to be DOMINANT, at the same time you have to know how to be laid back, and how to use FINESSE to weave your way smoothly into a girl's zone both emotionally and physically, even if that includes weaving into her group of friends and walking away with her or at least her contact info.
You have to have PERSISTENCE to not eject out of the situation, yet you have to BE VERY SURE to NOT come across as an inferior, as if you are some lackey waiting to do her bidding. Remember, attraction is about superior value. It's the way humans are built emotionally. We want to get an "INCREASE", we want to feel we are going "UP", not down, or even stay the same. This is why no one truly wants "equality" in that generic sense, both men and women want what they feel is slightly BETTER than them. That's what makes them feel better, unless they are truly totally self-actualized, (something you yourself should also be working toward) and so far I have not met one person who truly was this way totally, including any woman.
And if you DO happen to meet a woman who is truly self-actualized, ALL THE BETTER, that would be awesome too, because such a woman would have ZERO need to play any "games" whatsoever and would have a tremendous positive impact on your emotions and your life.
So it's a win-win situation no matter what.
These are all HUGE topics in themselves that you can get the FULL PICTURE on in my programs atThe Dating Wizard Website but I'd like to riff on an important part of this, something known as the "shit test" that women give so well. You really need to have a thick skin to be in this game as well as have INSIDE KNOWLEDGE, especially to handle this phenomenon known as the shit test.
Otherwise you will get melted instantly at the first "shit test" a woman gives you.
So, what IS a shit test, you ask?
It's something that just about every girl will throw at you when you try to pick her up. Honestly. Almost every single girl I have ever met and that you will meet will most likely throw some shit test at you which you have to learn to successfully pass before you make any progress with her.
Women do this often without even thinking about it, it is the result of various social forces and possibly even evolutionary forces.
For example, you may open up a girl at a club with some casual conversation, and she may tell you something to try to throw you off. She may say "you're cheesy", she may say she has to go, she may even feign anger that you are interrupting her friends.
Now, it takes SKILL to know when she REALLY means it, and when she is just testing you, and when in fact she is doing all this to try to game YOU, or to try to protect herself from getting hurt.
Yes, if you have REALLY TIGHT GAME, and the girl you are chatting with does NOT feel too confident in herself, she will often do what seems like bizarre things that she does not do with most other guys. For example, with most guys, since she is not interested, she just acts normal with them, as she feels no attraction and so acts with them in a very platonic manner.
But if she feels attracted to you, and yet also feels insecure about being able to attract a guy like you, she may very well try to show you she is not so interested by being kinda bitchy.
This often happens with 7s, and sometimes with 8s. Again, I hate to use numbers, and beauty is often partially based in the eye of the beholder, but it's helpful for getting the idea across here. Girls who are 9s and up tend to feel confident enough that they have you attracted so they don't need to act this way once they already like you. Or rather, if a 9 DOES act bitchy, it's not because she is trying to "game" you but rather because she is testing to see if you are in control.
But with a 7 or often an 8, the mere fact she is going OUT OF HER WAY to act bitchy with you is ironically a SIGN of her interest. But you have to be honest, because this only happens as her sign of interest when your game is relatively tight, and when the girl doesn't feel massive confidence in her own value.
Often, the best way to deal with a bitchy comment like this, i.e. "So are you recently DIVORCED or something?" is to say back to her a REFRAME such as "and what makes you so attracted to recently divorced men?". The funny thing though is that such her comment might REALLY be her protective way of finding out if you are single because she wants you! You could also instead say something like "And you would like to know, wouldn't you?", all with a mischievous smile. Or you could even say "Are YOU?".
The key is not to let any of this ruin her STATE of attraction, because in fact she IS attracted and starting some kind of argument will only reinforce her fears that indeed you are too good to be true, (even though it would be her fault for being a insecure person that triggered this, but hey, that's why YOU are smarter now and know how to deal with it.)
And, even if she wasn't particularly attracted off the bat, it's still a good idea to never argue with her bitchy comment, because you show MASSIVE VALUE by NOT reacting emotionally to her statements, and THAT in ITSELF will attract her, and also by NOT GOING INTO THE NEGATIVE EMOTIONAL ZONE, you nurture the RIGHT atmosphere for you to create the FUN EMOTIONAL SEXUAL PLAYFUL states that allow attraction to SKYROCKET.
Now, regarding girls that are not insecure, they will also often throw out "shit tests" but for different reasons. They are not doing it out of trying to protect themselves, but rather to see if you are a guy that means BUSINESS, a guy that is a MAN.
I've had girls tell me and my friends that I am interfering in their party/conversation/etc only to be having these same girls coming BACK for more within SECONDS.
All because I knew it was a shit test, and I knew how to handle it. Sometimes women act as if they are NOT into you, to show you and their girlfriends that they DON'T allow themselves to get "picked up" easily, and so they have to act "hard to get".
But if you GO for this act of them being hard to get, you only REINFORCE their frame and now they must CONTINUE their act of being hard to get, even though deep down they really wanted to meet you!!!! And the irony is that if you CAN'T pass this test, they figure you are not a man anyway and they will shut down their attraction to you.
If you get offended easily, especially when you know that deep down the girl really WANTS you, you won't get anywhere in this area.
In way, this is about more than THICK SKIN. It's about KNOWING YOUR OWN VALUE regardless of the messages that are being sent to you verbally or non-verbally from her.
Kinda reminds me of the story of the guy who thought the weight was lighter than it really was and nobody told him. So he ended up lifting the super heavy weight that no one else had ever done, simply because he didn't get the message that he could NOT. So he DID. Same thing with your interactions with women, it doesn't matter what the heck they say to you initially when it comes to you creating attraction. In fact, if you take all that initial stuff too seriously, you will turn them OFF! Women are not looking for a guy that bases his reality on getting the approval of a woman who hasn't even done anything to show her quality of character.
Sometimes a shit test occurs when a girl has to meet you for a first date, but is feeling a bit awkward about it since she is not sure if you are a pick up artist cheesy untrustworthy guy, or if you are a cool guy that just happens to like her and met her outside of the typical social circle of her friends. She might be late, but if you get pissed off before you even know WHY she was late, you can ruin a potentially good thing.
Maybe she was late because she was so nervous trying to fix herself up to look good, maybe she is late because she's unsure of you, maybe she's late because she doesn't want you to think she's easy. If she seemed like a pretty damn good girl to begin with, then there might be a good reason for her being late. Don't let your own insecurities from the past spoil the present and the future.
It's something ELSE if you allow a woman to walk over you, but until she KNOWS YOU, and you find out a bit more about her, you really don't know what is going on, especially if she is woman who is attractive and has no idea yet of the difference between you and the zillion other guys "hitting" on her.
That's why you should be living in the same reality as her, meaning that if you had tons of women interested in you, you would not be so insecure or needy to get jaded so fast. At the same time, you would also not be idealizing some woman who you don't know yet. You would simply be doing the SMART thing, which is being chilled out and finding out more about her with time.
So until you are actually getting intimate with a girl and have some trust and rapport seriously going, it doesn't make sense to make conclusions on everything.
It takes FINESSE sometimes to handle a shit test. You have to show that you don't accept less than 100 PERCENT respect, but you have to also show that you are THE MAN and that you have enough self-security to not get too emotional so fast and also show her that you are totally aware of the fact she might be feeling a bit awkward, and MOST OF ALL, she just might be TESTING you to see HOW YOU HANDLE HER BRATTY SIDE.
Do you blow up? Do you treat her like a little camper who misbehaved, in other words you are cool and composed and clearly in a superior position?
Are you THE MAN?
Often a sense of humor helps pass a shit test. If a girl says to you for example, "It's my friends birthday, leave her alone" she might just be trying to show her friend that she is not forgetting about her and that she is not going to allow a guy to get in the way of her and her friend. HONESTLY.
You have to be able to detect the vibe of what's going on, of course, which comes with experience, but also just KNOWING that this is a possibility as opposed to her really not wanting to chat with you is important.
So a good response might actually be to just call her on her shit, in a controlled way, calmly saying something like "haa, you guys are tough, I need a tough girl that can handle me, who has enough confidence. This is a dangerous area and I'm looking for a bodyguard. A female bodyguard would be harder for anyone else to suspect, so that would be more effective than having some guy beside me. You can be like my own version of that show VIP! Which bodyguard would you guys be?"
I've actually done stuff like this, and turned a girl who was trying to show how indifferent she is and disarmed her this way, making her and her friend laugh and get into the conversation in a fun way. By reframing her behavior as something kind of silly rather than anything serious, she herself has to re-assess her own behavior, and since she sees that I'm not some kind of needy desperate guy trying to get her, and that I will just let the vibe do it's thing, she and her friend feels that this is a guy who will not force anything, yet at the same time doesn't take shit, yet at the same time is fun and not taking the whole thing too seriously.
All this takes a combo of right attitude, right frame of mind, just the right amount of dominance in your tonality and body language, with the right sense of humor.
Which flows from having the right thoughts and emotions, and INSIGHTS.
And it takes a solid understanding of the social forces acting upon women that makes women behave this way in the first place. For example, the fear women have of being labeled sluts for talking to guys they don't know.
Sometimes it requires persistence to break through a difficult set of girls. You have to assert a certain amount of DOMINANCE to take over the set while at the same time being relaxed about it and playful about it, which might seem like a contradiction but it isn't.
One of the biggest mistakes that guys make in real life, even if they have tons of memorized material to say to a woman, is that they come across as "weird" to women. As if they are cold robots spewing out words regardless of whether anyone was really listening or not.
They are not CALIBRATING the response from the woman to figure out just what this woman is about internally and what makes her tick, they are not PAYING ATTENTION to what is happening and they are not being in the moment, they are not REALLY coming across as playful, they lack the TRUE comfort in themselves.
Now, because the material some of these guys memorize is so funny or intriguing, they STILL manage to keep the girls listening, but the women can tell something is NOT right and eventually the guy gets blown out or the woman will easily "flake" on him later.
Another problem I notice is that a lot of guys get hung up on trying to be Mr. Super Don Juan Who Takes Any Girl He Meets Home On The First Night. Instead of having a good conversation, attracting her, building up some solid rapport and then meeting her again later that week.
Look, dudes, the fact is not ALL girls go home with guys on the first night!!!! Sure a LOT do, but very often the best girls DON'T. I think that maybe a lot of guys KNOW that deep down they didn't establish a good rapport/attraction with the girl, and that she will "flake" later on, so they figure it's either all out tonight or nothing.
But if they developed a good connection with the woman in the first place, then they wouldn't have this flaking problem later on nearly as much.
Getting all this stuff sorted out takes practice and focus. If could take YEARS if you decide to learn it all through through trial and error. Why would you want to do that and deprive yourself of all the insane joy you could be having during that time if there was a better way?
Well now there is a better way:
THE SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM CD SET.
At your fingertips, 24/7, it will help you shave YEARS off your learning curve. Get the most powerful program anywhere on the topic of attracting and keeping even the most beautiful of women by immediately going to:
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Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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