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There are some TRULY APPLICABLE insights that I have found are CRUCIAL for ACTUALLY GETTING THE GIRL. Nothing here that is hocus-pocus, obfuscating, or mumbo-jumbo. Just what WORKS.
When it comes to dealing with groups, always GO DIRECTLY FOR THE GIRL THAT YOU ARE INTERESTED IN, unless opening the group is ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.
Sometimes, it IS necessary to open up the group, i.e. to find out if the girl is the girlfriend of the guy, or if she is just there with a bunch of friends.
So I'm not saying that the idea of opening up the group is wrong. What I AM saying is that ONLY do this when it's clearly REQUIRED.
You have OPTIONS when you see that a woman is in a group, and it's not always the right thing to do to open the entire group of her friends.
I see so many times that guys will preach about the need to open up the group as matter of "THEORY/PRINCIPLE" when in reality it's often NOT necessary and in fact can RUIN your entire pick-up.
It can RUIN your entire pick-up, because by opening yourself up to the WHOLE group, you are inviting the girl who is the most OUTGOING to JUMP on you, and if this outgoing chick happens to NOT be the chick you are interested in, you can have a serious problem on your hand. Especially if this chick happens to be 4000 pounds, and she jumps on you, the other chicks will either feel BAD to RUIN her "chance" with you OR may even think you are seriously interested in her and will be HAPPY for her that she met a cool guy like you.
So even if they want to talk to you, they will be willing to forego it for the benefit of their friend- if nothing else to preserve their friendship, even if deep down inside they HATE her for hogging up the conversation and jumping you, when they wanted to talk to you instead!
So they will IMMEDIATELY leave the scene to give you two time to get all alone together and intimate and cozy.
That's just the way it goes.
So, it's important to realize, especially when girls go out to clubs pubs and lounges at night, they are usually going because they WANT to meet guys.
So, you have to make it CLEAR who the heck you are speaking to, because otherwise one of THEM will do the choosing FOR you.
Now, this does not mean you are "giving all the power" over to the woman you are interested in speaking to, just because you are TALKING TO HER.
All you are doing is TALKING to her, and if you have solid game, it's clear that YOU have value as well as her. So TALKING to her as opposed to talking to all her friends does not have to mean you are "kissing up" to her in any way.
So, the rule of thumb should be always AIM for talking directly to the girl you are interested in, and if the logistics of the situation TRULY REQUIRE you to talk to the whole group, then chat to the whole group, but for as LITTLE as possible (I'm talking like 35 seconds!), just enough to show some class when the specific situation requires it.
ON A RELATED NOTE: THINK FAST!
When it comes to DECIDING which woman you want to talk to, you must think FAST, and you must also learn to think even faster.
There's not much point spending three hours talking to three different sets of women all of whom you were NOT interested in, when there was ANOTHER group or another woman that you WOULD have been interested in on the next floor, or the next club, or the next room, etc, but you were too EXHAUSTED emotionally or physically to do the leg work of FINDING her.
If you learn to think FASTER, then you will have MORE energy because you won't have wasted 3 hours on women you had no interest in!
So you have to think fast, because often you will only see a group of girls at a club or lounge or whatever for about 3 seconds before they are gone from view, and even if they are NOT, even if they stay there, you will look like creepy staring at them for an hour trying to figure out who want to chat to.
So, with practice, you'll learn to actually FIGURE OUT INSTANTLY which girl you are interested in on the surface, and then you can find out if she has the personality as well, within a few minutes, and if she has a pathetic personality, you can move on to the NEXT right away.
But you can't stand there staring and thinking, as it will creep them out, it will also make YOU feel weird, and it will rob your interaction of the spontaneity that is so important for your natural vibe to be right.
Related to number two: KEEP MOVING TILL YOU STRIKE GOLD!
Just because one location is "comfortable and familiar" to you, doesn't mean it has the women you are interested in, yet human nature is often afraid of CHANGE.
But the fact is, if a certain location does not have what you are looking for in terms of women, CHANGE location!
Try a DIFFERENT mall, bookstore, café, pub, club, library, bus, train, street, whatever it is, you have to keep changing till you FIND it.
The world will NOT change itself for US, BUT we can CHANGE our location so that we are aligned in the RIGHT PATH for success.
Sometimes, it's also a matter of experimenting with different TIMES at the same location, but more often it's the location itself.
YOU MUST KEEP UP THE RIGHT STATE, even as you may feel EXHAUSTED from the moving around from place to place!
It's easy to be in state when everything is going great, but when you've been going from place to place and NOT finding what you are looking for, you have to STILL be in state when you go the NEXT place, because THAT location may very well be where the woman that is exactly what you want just happens to be.
And now that you've finally found her, if you are out of state, your game won't be too great.
This is why taking care of yourself, your diet, fitness, rest, etc, is IMPORTANT, because meeting the woman or women you want sometimes takes ENERGY.
It's funny, as guys will spend a lot of time HOURS choosing a TV set, a movie to go to, or even what to eat for dinner. And certainly, they will spend a lot of time on finding the job they want. But yet isn't finding a QUALITY woman JUST as important if not WAY MORE IMPORTANT?
So take care of your physical and emotional self so that you CAN be in AWESOME state.
#5. And by the way, awesome state does not just mean "positive state", it's many states in COMBINATION with each other, much like a GRAPHIC EQUALIZER has many different options that all affect the sound, and how for different types of music, or even different parts of the same SONG you might wish to adjust that equalizer to bring out the specific instruments or voice that you want to hear most.
So, your state must be dominant, playful, sexual, upbeat, and sometimes more laid back, and sometimes more energetic at different stages of the pick-up. This topic is covered in depth in my programs and materials.
Allow logistics to work in your favor, and always try to IMPROVE the logistics if possible.
Doing a pickup on a woman who is leaving the store and spinning through the revolving door is obviously not the BEST logistics, so sometimes you have no choice but to WAIT until the logistics improve a bit, i.e. she is out of the store, or in the store, and has settled her gaze on something as she has stopped walking.
If you are both sitting down, it's better than both standing up, as you can sit for an hour and be comfortable while chatting. This is one reason why if I meet a woman at a bookstore, I will take advantage of the coffee shop inside so that we can chat there seated.
But it's not just at a bookstore. If I'm at a club, I'll try to get us both seated on a sofa. If I meet a woman at the park, I'll try to get us a bench, etc.
There's also a way of doing this smoothly without ruining the vibe of the conversation or the flow, but it's beyond the scope of this newsletter.
This doesn't mean you can't do pick-up when the logistics are crap, but it's more difficult, makes you look NEEDIER for feeling the NEED to try to pick her up in such an obviously strange situation (so she's thinking, "Does this guy have NO GIRLS in his life so that he has to go for these ridiculous situations?")
So you want to make the pick-up look like it's NO WORK at all, like it's NOT a strange situation at all.
The EASIER it seems for you, the MORE status you preserve. The more it looks like you are bending over backward to make the pick-up happen, the more INFERIOR your status becomes.
This is NOT an excuse though for anyone to NOT do pick-up! Too often guys will be looking for the PERFECT situation, which never exists. The reality is that in my own life the best girls that I ever met all came from situations where the logistics were not the BEST.
And also, I have no INTERNAL problem doing pick-up in the craziest of situations, it's just that I KNOW how this stuff works, and I see no point in trying to meet a woman by making things as INEFFICIENT as possible. Rather, I apply my understanding of this stuff to make things as EFFICIENT as possible.
If you have an internal block about doing pick-up in "weird situations" with rough logistics, you would be surprised how much GETTING OVER this internal problem will actually HELP YOU with ALL your pick-ups, including the ones where the logistics are GREAT.
The reason for this is because your INNER GAME takes off to new heights when you are TOTALLY cool internally with even the weirdest of situations. You become totally SELF-VALIDATED, so this vibe will now show in all your interactions, including the "better logistics" ones.
EVEN WHEN A WOMAN is not giving you really great signals of interest at the VERY beginning of a pick-up, don't give up so fast.
This is ESPECIALLY important if she is around her friends who are NOT as hot and who may be feeling JEALOUS or left out, so SHE may want to show her friends she is not all into you, etc., etc.
So KEEP UP the pick-up, even if she is not giving you much to go on. They KEY here though is to keep up the pick-up using MINIMUM GAME. Minimum game is always important but even MORE so here, as if you start doing anything THAT IS TOO "BIG ENERGY" when the girl is NOT responding, it will make you look like a TOOL.
So, what you want to do here is just keep things WARM, don't even go for HOT yet, as it's too much of a jump from where she is willing to go in front of her friends.
So keep up the interaction, while STILL being laid back and relaxed, and try to help HER qualify HERSELF so that she sees you have standards. Genuinely point out things about her that ARE respectable to you, whether it's her lifestyle, hobbies, attitude, values, and many other areas of her personality.
These things must be things that matter to you, so she can see this is not some slutty style pick-up, but rather a genuine connection, so that she can now elaborate about herself in this way to you. The point here is that she now wants to talk to you since this is not some "game".
Therefore the anti-slut defence shield of hers that normally would shut down an interaction, now has no need to be activated.
This is where being genuine once AGAIN is the key, whereas a lot of guys who are "pick up artists" can only FAKE this and it's super easy for most intelligent quality girls to spot the fakeness.
Learn to do pick up ALONE.
I have nothing against having a "wingman" to do pick-up with, as it can be a lot of fun, and sometimes picking up girls is not your main goal for the day/evening anyway, and with a wingman you can have a great time and meet girls simultaneously.
HOWEVER, a lot of guys use a wingman as a crutch, they don't have the motivation, or the skills to do pick-up without it. And that is not good ultimately for pick-up, as it means you can be much better, but are not pushing yourself to develop.
ALSO, even with the greatest of wingmen, sometimes a wingman will HOLD YOU DOWN no matter what.
Doing pick-up alone allows you to MANEUVER any which way you want, allows you to shift gears on a dime if necessary, and forces you to learn to deal with the friends of a girl quickly so that you can get on to picking HER up, rather than on relying on a wingman to take care of this. All this means that ALL your skills get sharper, as you have no one else taking care of any of the elements for you.
When you do pick-up alone, you have no one else to BLAME either, so you are more motivated to be FOCUSED and not make silly mistakes. You also have no choice but to pick-up girls, as you can't stand around talking to your wingman and wasting time which you might do if you are not comfortable yet at this "game".
THEN, once you BOTH HAVE the skills, THEN you can BOTH be far better wingmen to each other.
And even then, I STILL recommend doing pick-up alone sometimes to keep you from stagnating or getting lazy by depending on another dude to open up a conversation with a girl or group of girls for you, or to say good things about you, etc.
If you haven't already downloaded my eBook, "The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women", then definitely do that immediately. This book is packed with insights that will develop your FOUNDATION and you can start using it to meet women IMMEDIATELY.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
- Ways To Meet Women
- Secret To Meeting People
- Before The Approach
- Make The Right Impression
- Establishing Eye Contact With Women
- Dress To Impress
- What Not To Say
- How To Approach Women Anywhere
- PickUp Lines Don't Work
- When Girl Wants Approach
- Tease Her Please Her
- Start Conversation With Women
- State Control
- Two Approach Mistakes
- Tao of Judgement
- Mistakes When Approaching
- The "I" Perspective
- Approaching Women Tips
- Hook Theory
- Actions Louder Than Words
- Active Disinterest
- How To Approach
- Opening Sticking Points
- Neg Theory
- Slow It Down
- Trick To Sarging Solo
- Disarm Charm Her
- How To Begin & Complete Pickup
- State Killers
- How To Approach Women