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How Self-Esteem Affects Attraction

Author: Michael W

It’s really important to me to be as accurate as I possibly can regarding how to be successful with women, and it’s especially important for me to convey the “big picture”.

Probably the most important element to the “big picture” is the idea of cherishing your self-esteem more than anything else. Absolutely nothing is worth sacrificing this, for ultimately, being successful with women should only help ENHANCE the way you feel, not make it worse.

The irony is that conveying high self esteem actually is ATTRACTIVE anyway, so it’s really a win-win situation.

Once you train yourself to observe, then everywhere you turn, you can see examples of people with high self esteem and people with low self esteem and how this MASSIVELY affects the way they behave, and the way it impacts their ATTRACTIVENESS to other people. Before I continue, let me make it clear that I don’t judge people so fast, because this society makes it pretty damn easy to fall prey to low self esteem, honestly we live in a very sick society that brainwashes people to think they are worthless unless they are whatever society says they should be in order to have personal worth.

Onward: Please pay attention here, because this has a LOT to do with being successful with women as well, in a HUGE sense that will affect your entire life.

For example, I used to work as a personal trainer. At the gym, I would see these guys who basically stop their workout completely in order to chat with whatever half-decently attractive girl was there. These guys basically feel that this is their only opportunity to meet women, because the women are kind of a “captive audience” since they have to be there. So the guy follows the chick around the gym, and gets no real workout himself.

This ALREADY CONVEYS LOW SELF ESTEEM, in the sense of having a scarcity mentality, having the self concept that women wouldn’t want to speak to them in any other environment, and probably not even there at the gym either but at least the women there are “forced” to listen, etc.

All this stuff REEKS of low self esteem. Women can pick this up instantly, it’s obvious to them.

Low self esteem conveys LOW PERSONAL WORTH. It conveys lack of desirability.

Yet ATTRACTION is all about conveying that you are DESIRABLE. So what happens 99 percent of the time? The guy gets no workout, and gets no girl either.

Now let’s flip that around. Take the same guy, and let him IGNORE the women at the gym, let him do his workout, let him focus on HIMSELF first, let him NOT BE NEEDY and NOT FEEL THAT WOMEN ARE “SCARCE” and now he will start to ENJOY his workouts, he will start to REALIZE the value of working out in terms not only physical, but MENTAL, because exercise is a great way to get into a POSITIVE MENTAL STATE and feel BETTER about yourself naturally, and release natural endorphins, etc.

Trust me, NOW that same guy can go up to a woman at the gym and have him strike up a short conversation that’s FUN and not needy and not manipulative and forced. (Yes, the HOW to do this takes some know-how-that’s what you learn in from the book and in person services and what you get a glimpse of in these newsletters!)

She‘s finding this guy is FUN and also somehow making her feel like she wants to GET this guy. He finishes the chat and goes back to his workout after getting her number or email or whatever.

But he doesn’t NEED to do this, and it’s OBVIOUS from the way he came across.

Trust me, women NOTICE which guy is sending out CREEPY, NEEDY, DESPERATE, WEIRD VIBES.

And which guys are NOT.

Not only is self-esteem sexy in the sense it shows you believe you have worth and that you MUST have worth, but it also gives you the ENERGY to IMPROVE yourself in infinite ways that are attractive as well, whether that improvement is through reading, hobbies, exercise, education, or an infinite variety of other things.

Also, self-esteem will allow you to SPOT which women are BAD NEWS. If you don’t have high self-esteem, you will get “turned on” by the wrong things, or you will “accept” abusive behaviour because you will think you are NOT WORTH ANY BETTER, as if you are STILL BETTER OFF BEING ABUSED than to have NOBODY.

Well, I’m here to tell you that even NOBODY is far, far better than an abusive somebody. And the truth is, There are so many women out there that it’s actually absurd to seriously think there aren’t a LOT of choices for any guy. I just have to sometimes speak about extremes for any guy who seriously thinks he can’t get anybody better than his abusive girlfriend or wife, so I have to make it clear that NOBODY is still better than having an abusive somebody.

It’s REALLY IMPORTANT to be able to spot low self esteem behavior. People that are feeling like CRAP want to make YOU feel like crap, so run like hell if you ever meet a low self esteem person.

For example, if you saw someone giving a dog a bone, and then PULLING THE BONE away from the dog’s mouth, JUST TO MAKE THE DOG ANGRY, that should be a LOUD SIGNAL TO YOU THAT THAT PERSON IS LOW SELF-ESTEEM.

I just give that example especially because it pertains to ANIMALS. How much MORE SO does this apply to the way a person treats a fellow HUMAN BEING!!!!!!!!!!!

This doesn’t mean that just because someone is GOOD to animals that they will also be good to people, it Just means that if a person CAN’T be good to animals, especially THEIR OWN, then be prepared for the EVIL they will unleash on you.

Some of the worst sickest psychos in history were pretty damn brutal to animals first.

If you are a high self esteem person, sometimes you don’t want to believe that such humans can exist, so you RATIONALIZE the behavior. You come up with some way to explain that the crazy behaviour you just saw, whether it was a sick jealousy game/tactic, or whether it was a cruel put-down, etc, was somehow justified or “didn’t really happen”.


It’s really quite simple:
Those that are HURTING INSIDE have a need to make OTHERS feel pain as well.

Everyone wants congruency in their life. Same reason when you are sad, you like to listen to sad songs. (By the way, this is the very reason I recommend listening to EMPOWERING, UPBEAT MUSIC when you are in a negative state because it is INCONGRUENT to the negative emotion and thus WEAKENS THE NEGATIVE EMOTION and allows the positive ones to take over.)

Self-esteem is really huge, in every facet of your interactions with anyone, and that includes women, from first approach, to first date, to getting physical, to getting into a serious relationship and keeping it going strong.

A huge part of building and keeping your self-esteem is to realize that it is up to YOU to get it and have it and keep it. And because the people in our lives have a huge impact on how we feel about ourselves, it’s important to be an ACTIVE participant in our own lives and shut OUT the negative forces and only keep in the positive ones.

One of the strangest things is that so many “nice guys” want to HELP women in trouble with low self esteem, maybe it’s because they feel sorry for these women, Maybe it’s because these women make THE GUY Feel like HE has value since relative to her, HE is The “rescuer“, the hero, etc.

You see how SELF ESTEEM is the OPERATIVE factor here? The guy goes for her because it makes HIM feel special, and even as she becomes a bigger and bigger abyss, a black hole of negativity, and she begins to abuse HIM, he often takes it.

But if only HIS self esteem was strong to BEGIN with, and if only he KNEW how there IS NO WAY to fill up the gap of low self esteem people unless the low self esteem man/woman wants to change ON THEIR OWN, he wouldn’t need the ego trip of being the “hero”.

Low self-esteem is the enemy.
It can make a guy jealous easily and make him An easy target for women to take advantage of him.

HIGH SELF-ESTEEM, on the other hand, is the CURE. For me personally, I couldn’t care how hot a woman is if she doesn’t have self-esteem. A high self esteem woman actually IMPACTS my own perception of how hot she is.

A strange thing I have noticed is that sometimes women who are gorgeous on the outside actually ARE gorgeous on the inside as well, maybe it’s because they have a strong self-concept since they had so much positive feedback. But honestly, to me personally, high self esteem in a woman actually positively impacts how attractive I perceive a woman to be. Which makes me realize that this is probably true for women as well, especially women who are already high self esteem themselves.

You see, a high self esteem person can’t RELATE to someone who is NOT that way. THAT is just ONE of the reasons that some friendly good natured (not malicious) TEASING works so well, because when you are really high self-esteem this stuff is just normal communication. But to a low self esteem person, this teasing can HURT, because the immediate reaction in such a person is that you are trying to HURT them.

Self esteem, say it LOUD to yourself, it’s MAJOR.

The best way to GET self-esteem, is to at first just TAKE THE RIGHT ACTIONS, even if you don’t feel like it.

Some of the BEST actions a guy can take to build up his self esteem are to start behaving in the way a guy would behave IF he KNEW he was DESIRABLE.

Would he stay in touch with those who tried to put him down?
Or would he find those who were honest with him, but supported his best interests and tried to make him feel good?

How would he go about his day?
What thoughts would he have?
What would his lifestyle look like?
How would he walk?
How would he talk?
Would he be relaxed or uptight?
How would he dress?
What hobbies would he have?
What would his friends be like?
What kind of sense of humour would he have?
Would he be a clown, would he be overly serious, or would he be balanced?

I think it’s a great idea to actually FORCE YOURSELF even if you don’t FEEL like it at first, to TAKE THESE ACTIONS. Because when you take ACTION, you send a message to your brain and to your emotions that you believe, on some level, that it’s WORTH it.

And that means you actually DO BELIEVE in your own worth.

Now, having high self esteem really is the most important thing to your personal happiness. I’m not going to say that being awesome with women is the most important thing in life. That being said, however, I must also say that KNOWING THAT YOU HAVE A MASSIVE CHOICE WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN is probably the single greatest ENHANCER of self-esteem there is.

Knowing that you can give a woman the feeling that she has been waiting her entire life for you, and being able to do this without manipulating her, is a pretty awesome feeling.

It can’t GIVE you self-esteem, but it sure as hell can ENHANCE that self-esteem. And that’s the truth.

And if YOU want to be in that position of having CHOICE with women, so that women area actually chasing YOU because they are attracted to you, yes YOU, not your money or anything else, but YOU, then I highly recommend you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success With Women. The truth is that I STILL sometimes go back to this book myself, and till this day, I find it useful and inspiring.

When I wrote this book, I went all out, it was the culmination of a MASSIVE REALIZATION that took YEARS to crystallize. A realization based on real life, real dating, real approaches, and real relationships, with real women in the real world. It’s about what REALLY HAPPENS, and what REALLY WORKS.

I didn’t even want to undertake the enormous task of putting all those years into one tight, clear, organized book that could be understood easily, because I knew it would be a huge task to maintain the level of intense focus and clarity that I wanted to achieve. But once I started, I couldn’t stop. I also knew that once the book came out, there would be rip-offs, but what the rip-offs can’t give you is the guided tour of hell that comes from REAL EXPERIENCE that you NEED to hear about and know to TRULY get this stuff.

I spent a lot of time in this newsletter explaining the importance of self-esteem. However, it’s not enough in and of itself to make you awesome with women. You must have the KNOW-HOW as well. When showtime comes, i.e. you encounter a woman you want to approach, or you are with a woman and it’s time to “make a move” or “escalate” but you don’t know how, it really DOES become a matter of KNOWLEDGE.

I packed that knowledge into my book, and you can get it right now and have it downloaded to you in just minutes by going to:

Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women

Till next time,

Michael W

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