I honestly believe that if guys just knew HOW INTENSELY women who are hot are being kissed up to by guys, and how most guys are being TOTALLY FOOLED by them, while the women literally laugh all the way to the bank, guys would stop the insanity immediately.
Please remember also, that it's not like hotties are FORCING men to be fooled. Once you understand what's going on, you start to realize that in many ways, due to bad "inner programming" that is the result of many factors, (which would be a whole new topic) guys are simply setting themSELVES up to fail with women when it comes to attraction.
How do I know all this? Simple- I went through it all myself!
Just a few days ago, I received an email from someone who has spent YEARS in one of the BEST places to observe the TRUTH about how things go for most guys who are trying to meet hotties- THE CLUB SCENE.
Not only that, but he has seen the realities of what turns on the HOTTEST of women from all over the WORLD.
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Just wanted to tell you that I enjoyed your last newsletter. You present a lot of ideas that most guys never think about, yet are always there just below the surface.
Your advice is spot on. I owned and operated a club from 1987-2003. The music as you alluded to is more about sex than it ever was. The way girls now dance (especially with each other) has also changed.
Guys reading your newsletter will be able to really get " dialed in" to what is going on. Most guys in a club are clueless about meeting women. They either stand around waiting to get noticed, or come on too strong and blow it.
Unless you are financially independent, or want to contribute to the club owners' favorite charity, forget buying girls drinks. I have done it myself, oops. There are girls who go out with a few dollars, or just enough for the cover. The rest of the night is "financed". They will take full advantage of you and think nothing of it.
As a bartender, you sort of laugh inside when a guy wants to buy a girl a drink.
I also ran a local segment of an International Model Search and Swimwear competition for 11 years and attended the Finals of that competition several years in a row.
Imagine being in Florida with 80-100 bikini models for a week. These girls were the best of the best from all over the US and other countries.
You would be surprised to see who the boyfriends of these girls are. You would be even more surprised to see who's room they end up in. What I mean is that any guy that would have your information could be successful with these girls. There was even a rich guy named (name removed for privacy) from NY (yeah you know him). Were the girls interested in chasing him? Actually not.
I wish I had your information years ago, I know it would have been a great help. Thanks and keep the good advice coming.
Michael W Responds:
There you have it, folks. Most guys are way too concerned if they have enough money or good looks, or anything else.
No, what really counts is your ability to exude POWER. Power in the form of how much VALUE does she FEEL you emanate on any or all levels?
It's IMPOSSIBLE to effectively answer this question TO HER with some form of logical statement in words about your job, your income, or anything like that.
That simply doesn't work to create attraction.
But man, I can tell you one thing- in the game of ATTRACTION, there is no mercy. If you act like a wuss, be prepared for destruction.
Most guys smile too much, or in the wrong way, when they talk to women. Obviously, if you're at a party, it makes more sense to be smiling than if you are by yourself on the train or at the store. But in such an environment, it is you smiling because you are HAVING A GOOD TIME, not because of the fact some woman who you hardly know simply EXISTS in front of you.
The problem with this smiling stuff is that usually, when a guy is chatting to a hottie he is smiling in a submissive way, or a way that is showing he clearly is being too impacted by the whole interaction with her -- when she hasn't done anything to warrant him FEELING such an emotional impact from her.
This stuff goes WAY BEYOND just being "nice" or "not nice". It's about the BELIEFS you have that CREATE your behaviors. And women can DETECT if your "nice" behavior is the product of your BELIEF in your own value or if your behavior is the result of your LACK OF BELIEF IN YOUR OWN VALUE.
And all too often, the "nice" behavior that guys have when interacting with hotties IS in fact the result of a feeling of LACK OF VALUE.
So the guy's "niceness" looks like it is FEAR-based.
Like he is UNSURE of what will happen if he DOESN'T kiss up.
So he doesn't want to TAKE that chance of rejection, since it's SO important to him to GET her approval. He is UNSURE of his own value, he is SCARED of not getting approval, and it all SHOWS.
A woman UNCONSCIOUSLY DETECTS all this stuff. And not only THAT, but she is ALSO subconsciously FEELING that, based on all his subtle behaviors, (especially his uncertainty about his own value and ability) that he is probably a LOSER in general as well!!!!
The reason she feels this, is because he is giving off the signals of having DOUBTS about his ability to GET her. And from this she subconsciously feels he has doubts about his ability to get ANYthing. His ability to be successful at anything.
So her primal instincts, the ones that are all about SURVIVAL, they all start SCREAMING out at her like crazy, manifesting itself in an EMOTIONAL form that she FEELS, a feeling called REVULSION!!!
A feeling that SHE politely dresses up and disguises with nice words such as "Thanks, but I'm busy and I have to go", etc.
If you go up to a woman anywhere, not just in a club, and let's say you are chatting her up about some fun topic, BE THE MAN AND TAKE CONTROL.
Don't ASK her if you can talk to her.
Don't ASK her if you can sit down by her.
If you're at a club, don't ASK her if she'd like to move over to where it's less noisy.
JUST BE THE MAN AND DO IT/TELL IT.
Your "niceness" will only be PUNISHED and interpreted as WEAKNESS.
Your leaning in to her both physically and emotionally will be interpreted as INFERIORITY.
You have to remember that you are dealing with HOTTIES who think they are WIELDING massive power. Guys are kissing up to them at all times. This gives them a feeling of superiority.
NOW, since humans are only attracted to superiors, you have to come across as wielding even MORE value and power than her. i.e. that you are even MORE desirable than she is.
In her mind, since SHE is borderline arrogant as a result of HER sexual power, she will expect that YOU will be bordering on arrogant if YOU have any sexual power.
NOT BITTER, but borderline arrogant.
You HAVE to speak their language.
This means things like appearing like you have little spare time, that you are always on the go, that you are difficult to pin down and get commitment from, that you are a challenge to figure out, that you are constantly sending mixed messages, being cocky, hard to get, etc.
And dressing in a way that is CONGRUENT with being BEYOND CONTROL.
This is the language of "hotties".
It's a LANGUAGE.
Some guys have learnt this language a long time ago, from other guys, as kids, even. And they are so good at it, they don't even THINK about it. They don't know any OTHER WAY to "speak" with women. And as a result, they create the POWERFUL feelings of attraction in women, even though the TRUTH is that very often these guys DON'T have any value other than the ability to make a woman FEEL the guy is a winner!
One of the most ironic things is that so often the GOOD guys who REALLY DO have so much going for them, they don't FEEL it, so they don't PROJECT it, thereby letting so many FAKES win "the game" strictly be default!
After all, the "FAKER" who speaks the LANGUAGE of attraction will generate more COOLNESS than the "REAL" guy who delivers a message of UNCOOLNESS! But if the REAL guy just learned to speak the LANGUAGE, he would be MASSIVELY successful, and make women a LOT happier and a lot more excited than the faker!
Now of course, all this might have you feeling a little deluded about things like love, etc.
And the irony is, that for many guys, once they understand this, they will stop feeling so obsessed with "hotties". They will start to see "hotness" in more girls that they didn't see hotness in before.
Well then, that's great, because in fact, that will increase your success, with ALL the girls you meet. Because you will grow in character and understanding and maturity, all of which are very attractive.
They are attractive because they show you are not naïve, not green behind the ears, and not a dumbass. This is part of why women who are young tend to be attracted to older men. So an 18 year old girl is usually going to be attracted to a guy who is a lot more than 18.
Not ALWAYS, just VERY, VERY, VERY OFTEN.
But if a guy acts like an immature dumbass, then he's screwed at any age, and not screwed in the good sense.
***LETTER FROM A READER OF THE EBOOK***
I just completed your eBook. It should become required reading for our gender. I realize many mistakes I have been making, especially like you point out on pg 84, about focusing too much on one woman.
I can see where this book can help in all aspects of life, not just dating. My question is you mention never give a compliment right away. Could you use it as a door opener, as long as it doesn't pretent to her looks? Like her earrings or how her shoes look so nice. Or do you think this is giving away too much to quickly?
J. P., NY, NY
Michael W Responds:
For so many guys, they get bogged down on one "special" woman. This is the greatest trap for a guy, because all the mental buttons that trigger HIS attraction to the woman and RUIN her attraction to him are being pushed in each of them:
He starts kissing up and acting like SHE is the prize, he becomes too available and soon she FEELS he is not so great, she becomes less and less available, while of course this only makes him feel she is MORE AND MORE desirable--the cycle quickly gets out of control and you have an obsession.
A WAKE UP call is needed- something that demands so much of his time and attention that he BREAKS the habit of thinking about her all the time- and so he finally realizes that he in fact does NOT need her and that actually he is HAPPY withOUT her.
And finally HE starts pulling back, thereby REVERSING THE PROCESS, which often leads to the woman coming back and pursuing him. And it's usually a mistake for the guy to go back to her because he needs to learn more about self-esteem and going back to her sends the message to his brain that she is worth it, when in fact no woman is worth feeling anxiety about.
The reality is that if the woman was TRULY special, she would have been calling him and treating him like GOLD before he had to become "so hard to get".
The only reason a guy thinks a woman is special is because either he believes the woman is superior to him in some way, or his self-esteem is down the toilet.
The bottom line is that NO WOMAN is worth busting your brains out for, and the irony is that it's always the guy who is a GOOD guy who is tearing his heart out over some "special woman" who in reality is obviously not so special or she would appreciate him. Jerks NEVER get bogged down like this. So why the heck should a GOOD GUY beat himself up for nothing?
Better to take that energy and go meet a hundred other women. Any ONE of them is probably just as "special" as the "special" one who is giving the good guy an ULCER.
Regarding your second point, I prefer to advise all new guys to this stuff to NOT start off with compliments. There actually is a way to give a compliment that will not RUIN your game, but unless you are ADVANCED, (see my SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM for a whole different LEVEL to this game that includes knowing the full details of how and when compliments actually WORK) it won't HELP your game, so I say to all NEW guys at this game, to just STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM IT.
You HAVE to realize that the game is MERCILESS, and every iota of power you hand over to an attractive woman too quickly CAN AND WILL BE USED AGAINST YOU.
Do NOT use compliments as a door opener, because they immediately establish that SHE is the prize and not you, and also she has heard 1000000 (okay, maybe 99,000 is more accurate) compliments from guys already just that day ALONE.
So instead bust on her and LATER in the conversation when she is CLEARLY showing STRONG interest in you, you may give her a compliment and make it something that is NOT about looks, but rather about her personality or her interests.
And if you would like to OPTIMIZE your attraction power, and REGAIN your power as a MAN, the first thing I recommend you do is download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, IMMEDIATELY.
It's jam-packed with tons of critical information for getting you the type of woman or women you want. This book is the FOUNDATION before moving on to any of my advanced programs.
Download it now at:
And if you've already got my eBook, then you owe it to yourself to take advantage of my SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM CD SET.
This is the next level of your training, where you will learn the most advanced levels of attraction including how to BREAK the rules of attraction, when to do it, and why. You'll learn how to unleash ALL the forms of attraction that a woman can feel for you, so that you are firing off as many awesome emotions in her as possible, all at ONCE for massive overwhelming effect.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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