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Have you ever "rationalized" something to yourself? Something that deep down felt wrong, but you rationalized it as "okay"? And then, of course, ultimately, everything became very clear that in fact it was not "okay"?
Rationalizing is what causes a lot of good people, both men and women, to end up getting abused by others, especially by the opposite sex, until the day finally comes when things become clear to that individual.
Things are especially confusing in the field of men-women relations, because many women have been brainwashed by feminism (which ironically has led not to women being empowered, but rather to "girls gone wild" in shows clearly designed for MEN, something that never would have happened before the days of feminism) and men have been brainwashed by a "porno culture" as well, to be obsessed with the "instant orgasm" mentality when it comes to male-female relations.
The irony is that all this has nothing to do with gaining "freedom" for men or women, but rather is fueled and has been distorted by the same old thing that has affected humanity since the dawn of time - greed. S-e-x sells. So, in the last 30 years, things have spiraled to the point that everything is "porno sexed" to the max. It's infiltrated every pore of life and affected the entire culture.
(And even the idea of women working in men's jobs to a large degree was a function of economics and not "feminism", as women were required to work during WWII to produce ammunitions while the men were off fighting-- and once the war was over, it was now too late to close the Pandora's Box of having more money.)
Little girls now dress up as tramps and it's supposed to be "cool". Now, even military generals sometimes refer to their military operations as "sexy".
So what's my point?
My point is, if you want a quality woman, for something significant, you have to be a SUPER SOLDIER these days. You have to be unshakeable in your convictions. You have to be a leader. You have to be calm. You have to be passionate. You have to be tough. You have to be, dare I say it, S-E-X-Y. You have to stand apart from the crowd, yet you have to be able to DRAW the crowd in as well.
(By the way, check out "Female Chauvinist Pigs" a book that is pretty damn interesting even though I don't agree with it all. )
Another thing you need are THE FACTS.
You see, once guy KNOWS a woman is no good, usually he has no problem passing her by and going on to the next woman to find someone better.
But because guys are so brainwashed, they actually end up accepting into their lives the kind of women that actually end up messing them up. All because the guy believes the hogwash the woman says, who herself is often just repeating the brainwashed messages she has had implanted into her.
The woman is treating him horribly, but the guy still doesn't get it, because she has robbed him of any self-esteem, so he can't even SEE how badly she is treating him. It's as if he thinks that life with her is so IMPORTANT that it's worth selling his SOUL AND HIS DIGNITY to her.
I get TONS of email from guys about "this one special woman" that in reality is probably not so special. And the reason I say this is because usually the man is pining over her and she has done nothing for him. So what makes her so special?
I feel like SHAKING THE GUY out of his DELUSIONAL state.
You have to get out of the "soup" of NEEDINESS and jump into the other mode, which is more along the lines of "I'm a man, and although I am a sexual being, and although I fully understand the power of a great relationship, and I can be the greatest guy on earth in one, there's no way in hell I'm going to settle for some woman who doesn't treat me as I deserve and as well as I treat her."
Again, don't get me wrong:
It's GREAT to meet a woman who IS all those good things, but the fact is, men are being held HOSTAGE to a MYTH. The MYTH that they NEED a woman's approval so badly that they are wiling to be with the wrong woman.
And man, let me tell you something BIG:
SOME women are using this MYTH to MILK guys for everything the guy has- emotionally, financially, and taking all the guy's TIME and ENERGY as well.
What these women are doing is PRETENDING to be innocent and good, all the while NOT being such a person. You see, it's IMPORTANT for them to pretend, because they know that a GOOD guy is not a STUPID guy. They know that if the guy knew she was no good, the guy WOULD in fact dump her.
And not only would the guy dump her, but he would then realize that a lot of women are like this and he would stop being such a target.
If all men did THIS, then you can bet your assets that most women would be busting their gut trying to EARN men's interest rather than EXPECTING to get it for NOTHING.
Of course, there are ALSO a LOT of really warped GUYS out there. In fact, this is one reason why I DESPISED much of what was being taught by "seduction" experts, because they PRETENDED to be one thing, but actually they were damaged and massively insecure guys who felt a need to cause a lot of pain to women, and thus messed up a LOT of women, WITH A LOT OF LIES, and then these women became bitter and caused damage to a lot of innocent men, and these innocent men then became convinced that women were evil, and so on and so forth.
I WANT TO STOP THIS VICIOUS CYCLE.
At the same time, you cannot rationalize away a woman's bad behavior. Just like a woman should not rationalize away a guy's bad behavior. You have to recognize a problem and not think it's going to change, because it won't, not unless the person owns up to it and changes it themselves.
So what I'm going to do right here is give you a few TIPS on how to know if you're with a quality woman or not.
Because really, if a woman is not treating you right, there's no reason on earth to be with her.
1. If you constantly feel bad around a woman, and she constantly claims to not have a clue about what she's doing to make you feel that way, chances are that in REALITY she knows EXACTLY what she's doing.
If your self-esteem was high enough, you'd see it from a million miles away, but since she has hacked away your self-esteem since you met her, you can barely recognize when someone is abusing you anymore.
WAKE UP, my friend, if this is happening to YOU.
If you ACCEPT this into your life, all you will do is activate cognitive dissonance in your own head and start to believe that in fact somehow she is WORTH the abuse, and that you are NOT worth more than this.
If this sounds like your situation, you definitely should download my eBook IMMEDIATELY at:
2. Here's another thing: ACCUSING YOU of what in fact is THEIR "Modus Operandi".
When a woman is doing something wrong to you, and she knows it, and you bring it up with her, the number one tactic that all abusers to their victims is accuse them of the very thing THEY ARE DOING TO THE VICTIM.
So, for example, if she is dishonest, she will accuse YOU of dishonesty. If she is making you feel confusion, she will accuse you of making her feeling confusion. Etc, etc.
So, if you see this kind of thing going on a lot, it's not some kind of coincidence, it's very much a part of her METHOD.
3. INCONGRUENCIES in their behavior.
You know how I always talk about actually BEING "The Man" rather than faking it?
How I focus on your ACTUAL development instead of on memorizing a pick up line?
It's because if you aren't REAL, it shows anyway!
Similarly, if a woman isn't REALLY a good person, it will SHOW no matter WHAT she says about how great she is as a person.
A lot of people lie to themselves and they accept the excuses that another person gives them, but ultimately, your GUT tells you a lot about a person. Your "gut" is really all the things you have registered about the woman but that you may not have formally recognized or observed consciously.
Plus, if you look to see if she is consistent or not, you will see if she is a good person or not. Do her words really match her behaviors? Forget about who she SAYS she is "deep down". Does a good person REALLY do and say the kind of things she does and says?
By the way, words DO matter, they reflect what's going on in her head. So words AND actions count. But those words really only count if the actions match up.
Regarding her behaviours, ask yourself, "Would a good person do this"?
4. Do they only respond to CONSEQUENCES?
If a woman only responds to CONSEQUENCES, she's no good.
You are not there to be her kindergarten teacher teaching her how to be a decent human being and giving her "hard lessons".
FORGET such a woman, even if she RESPONDS to your consequences.
When I meet a woman, the best thing she can have going for her is the vibes she gives off in the department of human respect RIGHT FROM THE GET GO. And of course, she gets it in return.
Any woman who has to be "punished" in order for her to behave, is a woman who simply is trying to get away with AS MUCH AS SHE CAN.
It's a woman who KNOWS what good behaviour is, but will only do it from CONSEQUENCES, not from her own natural desire to be decent.
5. If the only reason you are with a woman is because she says she wants to be with you, it's NOT enough. Plenty of women can want to be with you but still have no desire to treat you right. Some women want to be with a guy because they feel they can control him. Not cool at all.
Okay, so those are some important red flags to watch out for with a woman, but as always, it's CRUCIAL to me to be as ACCURATE as possible about how things work and what's going on.
There ARE some QUALITY women out there, but they are as rare as it is for a great woman to meet a QUALITY GUY. It may damn well be even HARDER for women to meet a guy that really has his act together and is cool and is still a GOOD guy.
And before you can even KNOW if a woman is good or not, you're going to have to MEET her and ATTRACT this woman.
And in order to do THAT, you're going to have to approach her in the RIGHT way.
And that means while you can't be NAÏVE, you also can go around with a chip on your shoulder. A lot of guys will hear the things I have to say above, such as how so many women can be so horrible, and then feel like acting like TOTAL A-HOLES to women.
But that's NOT going to work.
You can't have a chip on your shoulder, or you will turn OFF even the women out there who have great values and great personalities.
But at the same time, acting TOO smiley makes you seen NAÏVE, as if you are easy prey for a woman to take advantage of. Not cool.
This is part of the reason why going into an interaction TOO "smiley" makes a woman figure that you are either naïve or crazy. Especially when you approach a woman in a low key environment, i.e. a bookstore as opposed to a dance club. The overly smiley approach can make you seem pretentious as well.
But you can't go in with a chip on your shoulder either. Your past experiences with women, if not positive, still do NOT equal your future experiences or the CURRENT experience that you are having in the pickup at that moment.
If you're looking to meet women, one way to be in the right frame of mind is to focus on the vibe of the MOMENT and totally forget about thoughts of "Is this going to be my WIFE" or anything extreme like that, because those kind of thoughts will ruin any spontaneity and rob your interaction of the natural fun that it would normally be.
It doesn't have to add up to anything beyond the moment, and that attitude actually makes it more likely for that moment to be a GOOD one, leading to ANOTHER good moment.
Which leads to the next step, such as having a coffee together and finding out more about each other, and laughing, which leads to holding her hands, which leads to kissing, which leads to making out hardcore, which leads to sex, which leads to more sex, which may lead to a relationship, etc etc.
Get the picture?
Step by step, as opposed to worrying about the massive and often emotionally overwhelming goal.
And by the way, when you do the pickup, NEVER qualify yourself. It's so sucky. Most of the time, what happens is that you feel the PRESSURE to show her you are COOL and that you have value. So you give into temptation and you try to show her you are cool by mentioning things about yourself as if you are selling yourself to her.
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What makes this program different from every other program out there is that I discovered that the REALITY is that being successful with women at the most advanced level requires expertise at being able to create the RIGHT EMOTION for the RIGHT moment.
For example, meeting a woman at a party while she's having a blast is one thing, and meeting a woman who's feeling down after a day of work is something else. And not all women are the same. If you use the same old thing on every woman, you are not going to get the best results. Attraction is far more complex than most people realize.
This program will show you how to develop powerful dimensions of yourself that you currently don't even KNOW you have right now.
This Program is extremely comprehensive, going into FULL DEPTH on everything from REHAULING your entire inner game, to showing you exactly what to do for every component of the actual pick up itself, from first seeing her to getting into the conversation, to building a powerful connection, to getting physical, and even how to sustain the attraction long term.
You will also learn the TRUTH about how to develop the kind of humor that actually WORKS instead of just making you look like a clown. And you will learn how to do this on the SPOT without having to have memorized lines.
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Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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