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When you are with a woman, from the very first moment you interact with her, the way you behave will bring out different elements of her identity, personality, and emotions.

If you think about it, though, how are most guys behaving with women? There are several different categories of guys, so let's get started:

On one hand you have the guys who kiss up to women, which makes a woman automatically revert to one specific dimension of her personality, which is "I am a woman, and this guy is trying to impress me, so I will now play my role as a woman judging what he has to offer."

On the other hand, you have other guys who tend to focus on the sexual element, and bringing that aspect of her identity to the forefront.

Then you have other guys who tend to act like jerks, trying to appeal to the ego element of her identity in a negative way, by challenging her worth and thus trying to make her fight to win him over to prove to herself that she is good enough to get him.

The thing about all these "methods" is that they forget the most important and powerful element of human identity- which is the desire to feel SELF-WORTH simply for being ourselves. And the ironic thing is that the above "methods" all HAMPER and RUIN the possibility for a woman to feel this! This is why those methods tend to only work on women who are already messed up psychologically and who are already hopeless in the departments of self-esteem.

Let me be specific:
For SOME girls, they WILL go out with a guy who kisses her ass. They might even MARRY him. Mind you, this is not ATTRACTION, but for them, ATTRACTION is not the most important thing in life. For them, the most important thing to them is SECURITY, and having a guy who they can control easily is tops on their list. The problem though is that since insecurity knows no limits, the guy will soon find that even all his ass-kissing eventually is not enough for her. So then he will have a woman on his hands who not only is not attracted to him, but also is not even feeling secure from him either.

And the problem with guys who focus exclusively on the sexual element, is that often the very best of women (inside and out) are not desperate for sex in any way, they know if that is all they wanted they could get it easily. So this part of their identity is already easily within their grasp.

And the guys who focus on using the jerk type behavior tend to appeal to the girls who already seriously question their own worth and will thus feel a need to prove themselves. Is it any wonder that the girls who this stuff works best on tend to be girls who are very needy for attention and act this way from the way they behave to the way they dress to the kind of places they hang out at?

When it comes to a quality woman, she already FEELS pretty good about her basic ability to get a guy for sex, she is also not so needy for attention so challenging her ego in a negative way is not very compelling, and trying to impress her and appeal to her role as a woman judging a guy is something she is already bored with doing since it happens so much.

So what is the thing that she DOESN'T have?
I'll tell you what it is:
Every guy she meets is so caught up in himself and his own agenda to "get her" whether it's through kissing up or through being a jerk, that she ends up feeling that NONE OF THIS IS ABOUT HER! It's all about the guy, even if he is trying to win her by kissing up or acting like a jerk, or appealing to sex, etc.

It's very ironic and the last thing you might think, but the reality is that if you were REALLY interested in giving her the GREATEST GIFT OF ALL, you would NOT be needy for her to be ANYTHING other than.................HERSELF!

Think about it:
If you REALLY "liked" her, if you really thought she was a great person as well, etc., you would want her to be HAPPY. Therefore, you would NOT WANT her to do anything other than DO WHAT MAKES HER HAPPY.

You would want her to be FREE to be HERSELF.

With most guys, she is feeling like she is playing a ROLE. Just like you might feel like you are playing a ROLE when speaking with your employee or employer or teacher or student or sometimes even mom or dad or child. But you are limiting yourself to that ROLE, you are not being your total self there. There is too much on the line, and often in these roles you may even have a responsibility or expectation to hold back part of who you are.

But when it comes to the most powerful connection and attraction between a woman and you, you want her to feel like she can be totally herself with you. THIS is what will get her to call you back, THIS is what will get her wanting to be with you, THIS is what will get her to feel good about getting intimate with you, THIS is what will cause her NOT to flake.

The thing is, and this is important, is just because you have a woman comfortable being herself with you, and attracted to you, does not mean that you necessarily should be with her. The reason for this, is that if being with HER requires YOU to not be YOURself, then you are giving up the most important part of YOUR identity.

And if you do THAT, it's just a matter of time before you get internally WEAK and thus start screwing up because your lack of strong identity manifests itself in a need to get APPROVAL FROM OTHERS, including from HER. This destroys the whole foundation, because the foundation of her attraction was that you were already complete, you did not need HER to have to change for you, to give you anything that she was not already naturally giving you.

You want her to feel FREE to be herself, to feel good about what is important to her, etc. This does not mean you never have ARGUMENTS, as you can very well ACCEPT someone for things you do NOT necessarily agree with or like, as long as they are not in conflict with FUNDAMENTAL values of your own.

I've had long term relationships with plenty of arguments, but the thing is, that deep down many times the fact that we both could get things out in person right away even if it was through an argument appealed to the much stronger point of our MUTUAL BELIEF in being STRAIGHT UP with each other and working things out on the spot and not holding it all in. In many ways, all this arguing built TRUST. Not saying this works for everyone, by the way, just trying to point out that accepting someone for who they are doesn't mean never having any conflict!

What it DOES mean is not judging her, what it also means is ENCOURAGING HER to be herself. Yes, ENCOURAGING her. Most guys will try to control a woman and restrict her personality from showing, because insecurity will make him feel threatened by it.

And the reality is that if you really do NOT like who she actually is as a person, or if you find out that she is the kind of person to ABUSE such trust, then WHY ON EARTH would you pursue such a low self-esteem, and to be honest with you, such a PATHETIC person?

The reality is that most women will CHERISH such a guy because it is so extremely RARE.

Why would you want to be with a woman who you really didn't like, unless YOU felt a lack of something?

After all, if you DON'T like her, why are you pursuing her? Because you are desperate for sex? That's already going to hold you back from getting results with ANY woman.

What you've just read is just a GLIMPSE into another UNIVERSE when it comes to understanding the way attraction and connection REALLY WORKS.

If you are reading this right now and want to get the FULL PICTURE on attraction, and on making a woman feel TOTALLY DIFFERENT with you than she could EVER feel with anyone else, then you owe it to yourself to get my Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program CD Set.

This is the most comprehensive and advanced program of its kind, anywhere. It's jam-packed with TONS of powerful, advanced insights and ideas that you can use immediately to start meeting and attracting the very best of women right NOW.

Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program

And if you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that IMMEDIATELY. This book is the DNA for understanding the concepts and methods in all my other programs and services.

Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women

Till next time,

Michael W

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