It's what attraction is all about. It's what creates "sexual tension", which when finally released, is so passionate. When you WANT something, and you can't easily have it, there is that tension...so that when you finally do get it, you cherish it with gusto.
No one is attracted to someone who conveys a sense of being powerless. When it comes to being a MAN, however, power is not only important, it's EVERYTHING.
You see, a woman, if she is attractive, simply has to have a decent personality, and not act desperate. That's all the power she needs to be attractive. A man however, has to convey a lot more than just NOT BEING DESPERATE. This is because a man cannot rely on his looks as much as a woman can in order to stir attraction. A woman is NEVER attracted to a man who seems to be "equal" with her. In some major way, he has to be MORE than her.
Hence, you hear about women wanting a man who is TALLER, who is RICHER, (even if she is already wealthy!) who is from a higher social class, etc, etc, etc. And of course, a man who is more DOMINANT than her. Most of all, (whether a woman admits this or not) a woman wants a man who makes HER FEEL that HE is the dominant one.
This is because a DOMINANT MAN makes HER feel FEMININE. When a woman goes out with a guy who SHE has to tell him what to do, who she gets the feeling he is asking HER for approval, she simply feels NO FEMININITY with him, because there is NO CONTRAST.
Think yin-yang here: To feel feminine, she must be with a man who is MASCULINE. When a woman is with a guy who is not dominant, she feels like he is just another GIRL.
Yeah, that's pretty much how she feels. THAT is the reason women say they want a guy who is taller, richer, etc. It's all about making her FEEL feminine.
And to make a long story short, women feel attraction for such masculine men, because for survival, women have needed MEN who were courageous and tough. Life was pretty rough for humankind for most of our history. A woman needed a MAN. And today, emotionally, in their DNA, women STILL carry this legacy of our human history. But today, in the "Western World" women are MORE POWERFUL than they have ever been in history.
Now, before anyone jumps to conclusions, let me make it clear: I am NOT saying this is a BAD thing.
However, since attraction is BASED on the dynamics of power between a man and woman, it would be LUDICROUS to ignore the effect of these social developments on the situation between men and women today. ESPECIALLY when you consider that MOST MEN are ACTING toward women AS IF THEY WERE STILL LIVING IN 1951.
Let me tell you something:
That behavior has only become a formula for disaster in the last couple of generations.
You see, in 1951, if you saw a woman on the street, or in a shop, and you complimented her, you would NOT be immediately categorized as UNDESIRABLE "DESPERATE GEEK".
Because the average man relative to the average woman was far more powerful. He earned the bulk if not all of the money, he had far more rights and privileges, etc. Also, there was really no such mainstream activity called "dating for fun". In general people married far, far earlier, they were dating for marriage. (Of course there were exceptions to the rule, but I am talking about in general.)
This meant that women were thinking about a man's long term qualities as well as his "sexiness". It was not a "singles culture" like today, where nothing need last more than a day. Okay, so do you see what is going on here?
Since men were far more powerful relative to women than today, "nice" behavior was interpreted far differently. Buying a woman flowers on a first date, or chocolates, or even telling her "I love you" after just a few weeks was not the KISS OF DEATH that it is TODAY. TODAY, women already have TONS of power - education, careers, politics, etc. PLUS, most men have bought into the "GUILT TRIP" that men are BAD, nothing but sex hounds, who are just trying to use women. So we end up with men who are kissing women's asses, in order to "PROVE" that they are not the psychos that women have made us out to be.
We end up with a culture where men are made to look like sex-crazed morons and of course the women appear as almost indifferent to men.
(Just watch some tv commercials and you tell me what you think.)
MEN ARE NOW KISSING WOMEN'S BUTTS, and YET, SIMULTANEOUSLY women have actually made MORE PROGRESS than EVER before in history.... What is happening is a POWER SHIFT that, when combined with the butt-kissing behavior toward women….renders most men very UNSEXY. Today, when your average man meets a woman, he actually VOLUNTARILY gives away ALL HIS POWER and ALL HIS "CARDS" and ALLOWS the woman to KEEP ALL HER POWER and all her "cards". And then men go around wondering why it's so damn hard to meet a woman who respects them today.
Think about it.
When a man treats a woman as if it's 1951, by acting as if she is penniless and powerless and as if she needs his fancy restaurant dinners, his chocolates, flowers, and his favors….when in reality it's 2003…his behavior is UNATTRACTIVE and simply BEGGING TO BE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.
And guess what?
There's more, there's a WHOLE OTHER DIMENSION to this stuff. Not only are most men kissing up to women in a world where women find this now ABSURD and pathetic of men, but something far more subtle, and latent, is occurring.
Stay with me for this one, it's worth it.
Historically, women have been "modest" and have been the ones who regulated sex.* A man "courted" a woman, and then if a woman accepted, they got together and had sex. (or got married, etc.) Today, however, in the quest for equality, women are actually LOWERING their standards when it comes to sex. Less idealism. Women have actually tried to BECOME men in this sense. That's also why you can talk so much more rough to women today, and not only will they take it, but they will probably respect you more, since after all, women are supposed to be equal to men now, and don't need to be treated special, right?
I don't know about you, but I kind of liked the chivalry thing a bit. You have to be real careful with that today though or you may risk being labeled a weak , submissive loser. Now, men have ALWAYS wanted sex to be easier. It was WOMEN who were the ones who made men "earn" it by courting, etc.
Let me ask you a question: In the old context of "courting" was this such a bad thing?
People were looking for lifetime partners, and women were the ones who enforced this higher standard of relationships. If you weren't serious about a woman, it was more difficult to have sex with her than today. (in general) Today, however, women have largely abandoned this role and now are becoming pseudo-men, in the sense of having sex with more partners, and doing it easier. This is great news for men who just want sex. Bad news for men and women who want long lasting relationships.
Like a drug, if you over-indulge in anything, you really need more and more to get the same effect. We have more sex than ever, yet more Prozac
than ever too. (And by the way, far all the “progress”, women are no happier either- they are the ones taking Prozac far more than men.) For anyone who thinks this is off, just look at the pattern of some infamous sex offenders- the crimes often start small, then get greater and greater and into the heinous and bizarre.
Because of desensitization. A bigger crazier novelty is necessary to get the same KICK as before. As a society, we're getting nowhere fast. Sex used to actually have a lot more meaning and served more than just as a raw act. Sex has become largely about SEX and nothing else. Forget the whole old fashioned bonding thing and relationship thing and old fashioned morals and family.
That's for morons, we say.
There's no time for that anymore.
That's out of style.
So I wouldn't leave you with a problem without at least giving you the solution, too. The solution is to RECLAIM some power, in order to RESTORE that all-important sexual tension between men and women. Right now, there is NO tension for women– women are kicking men’s butts in the dating field. And it’s making it rather boring for them. Imagine going to a movie, where in the first 5 minutes the hero says to the villain “You will be caught” and the villain says back “Yeah, you’re right: I give up” and then surrenders. No movie, no action, no drama, NO FUN.
Well, don’t let women feel that you are NO FUN by being ZERO challenge for them. You don't have to give ANY power away if you don't want to. Let's say you see a woman you would like to approach:
The most important thing to remember is NOT how to be a comedian.
It's NOT about hypnosis.
It's NOT about pheromones.
It's about POWER.
So BEHAVE as if you DO have power, because the reality is that you DO.
Your power is the fact that women want men for being men, and nothing else. Just like you want a woman for being a woman. Throwing in gifts and compliments and flowers and chocolates only screws up the whole natural process, especially when those things will be interpreted as you possessing a LACK of power. In 1951, those acts were interpreted as you being generous, and thoughtful. But it's not 1951. Women WANT men and are not doing men any more of a favor by going out with them than vice versa. Women know this, and it's time you knew it too.
You don't OWE a woman anything more than yourself.
Women are NOT alienated, downtrodden members of society who need your generous support and endless compliments.
And if you start kissing up to women, they will feel NOTHING for you, because you make them feel that you have no power relative to them.
So go up to a woman, and tease her like you would do with someone you felt ZERO intimidation from, or just talk to her like you KNOW she wants you, because the reality is she WANTS that attitude from you, and anything less, IN THIS CURRENT SOCIETY, will be interpreted by her as UGLY and weak for a man.
And when you ask for her number or email, don’t make it look like you are begging for some favor. Because it’s NOT a favor. Anything less than total dominance these days makes you look real UGLY. And the more DOMINANT you are, the more LEADERSHIP you show, the more ATTRACTIVE you will be. Everything you do should pass through the filter of DOMINANCE- your words, your humor, your body language, your decisions. If you are about to make a joke, ask yourself "Is this self-deprecating or is this more of a making-me-look-SUPERIOR type of joke?"
Hey, guess what?
WOMEN ARE DOING THIS ALL THE TIME.
"I expect a man to do x, y, and z, for me if I am to go out with him" etc, etc.
If you FALL for this, you will LOSE all sexual attractiveness in her eyes. If you are thinking of telling a woman how good she makes you feel, tell her through the prism of dominance- in other words, show her in BED by making LOVE to her. THAT is the way for her to know you have "FEELINGS" for her. NOT from you kissing her butt and saying "I love you" after two days of knowing her. And then, if she turns out to be a "special" woman, who you think is worthy of a relationship, SET YOUR RELATIONSHIP STANDARDS AND MAKE THEM ABSOLUTELY CLEAR.
That means accepting none of the current baloney that is currently passing in many circles as "a relationship". You MUST be a leader in this regard, because society's idea of a relationship is absurd and a formula for disaster. Oddly, today, a man must not only be the leader in terms of initiating contact and sex, but he must also show WOMEN the way a relationship works. Women, in their quest for equality, have abandoned that which they value most, and will THANK you for taking command and accepting nothing less than the best for a relationship.
And if you want to know how to become more DOMINANT with women so that they will feel nothing less than a deep sense of carnal desire for you, I suggest you download and read my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women. It's packed with HUNDREDS of ideas to help you naturally become the man you were MEANT to be. This is THE book for TODAY'S MEN, made for TODAY'S situation with women.
Everything you need to know is clearly explained inside. I give you step-by-step details on how to approach women and get their numbers and emails, how to get physical, and how to get her to want to see you again and again.
You can begin reading this important information within MINUTES of now.
To download the eBook, just go to:
Over the course of one million years, man has adapted and evolved powerful strategies for attracting women. Now, you can learn them all in just a few hours of reading and practice.
Make the decision to become more successful with women NOW. You really can have success with women- the choice is now in your hands.
Till next time...
From someone who's been there,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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