If you're sick and tired of being CONFUSED as to what the hell to DO to succeed at pick-up, then you are in for a TREAT.
So let's get straight to it:
1. BE SUBDUED, IT AIN'T A SPRINT
The single greatest mistake that beginners make is that they view a pick-up as a SPRINT.
What guys tend to do is work themselves into a FRENZY in order to get the adrenaline to get themselves to go up to the girl.
That feeling of seeing a girl and being FROZEN, it's hard to get out the gates, it's as if it takes the booster rockets of the space shuttle to launch out.
Then, after all that pressure they exert on themselves, the tendency is to finally BLURT out something, whether it's natural or something "canned" (something memorized). They pray for a good response, hoping that they have done their own part of the pick-up, and that maybe the woman will now carry the rest of the interaction.
Well, what happens is that this frenetic approach not only does not look cool, (because it looks like the guy is not comfortable with women) but it actually makes the GIRL nervous as well, since emotional states are CATCHY.
There's a LOT to know, but the FIRST thing a woman is judging you on, INSTINCTIVELY, is your DEMEANOR, the way you seem composed and calm and cool and collect or the lack of all this.
And even on THIS point, there are subtleties, because you COULD enter into a conversation with higher energy as well, IF the environment is appropriate for that, like a club, and IF you are having the high energy from your own upbeat state as opposed to from being jittery and nervous.
2. DON'T "EXIT STAGE LEFT"
Then, on top of all this, the guy is looking for any excuse he can to EXIT the situation because he feels like a MORON or a CRIMINAL or UNWORTHY.
He doesn't want to be made fun of, so if the woman is not doing CARTWHEELS, he immediately JETS off.
Don't do this.
Sometimes, the woman is only matching instinctively to the very states you exuded onto her - i.e. frenzy, nerves, discomfort.
So, if you're not getting the best response, and you feel NERVOUS, then rather than EJECT, instead, SLOW DOWN your entire system, your movements, your thoughts, your breathing, etc. It WILL help you calm down and help her calm down as well.
This will also help you become more resourceful in terms of being able to be more fun, witty, secure, etc.
Slow it all d-o-w-n.
3. YOU HAVE TO BE FULLY PRESENT
The problem is that too many guys want to have to not actually GET "DIRTY" by getting DEEP INTO THE HEART OF AN INTERACTION. They would prefer to just do the whole thing by "remote control", in the sense of doing this one magic thing or saying something that then allows the guy to coast and watch the woman jump into his arms.
They want to avoid any emotional risk, (even though most women are NOT mean, so there really is not a problem of some kind of bitter rejection or anything) almost as if they are not really there, instead some mask is there in the form of a memorized line, or in the form of some hyped "one magic move" that appeals to the lazy tendency of human beings.
But to get good at this stuff, you have to get into it, you have to be actually listening and responding, and giving back good energies to her energies, and not getting frazzled just because it doesn't always start with a blast.
This takes practice, but it also develops SPONTANEITY, it develops quick wit, it develops your ability to respond with natural stuff very quickly rather than feeling stuck or at a loss for words. It enables you to also get a better feel for what she is EMOTIONALLY SAYING and not just verbally saying. All this stuff is HUGELY important.
4. EYE CONTACT
Do I have to even say this?
Five years of teaching guys in person tells me YES, I should still mention this.
I've seen guys memorize HOURS of canned material but fail to actually make solid eye contact for even 30 seconds, which is far more important.
This doesn't mean non-stop never-breaking eye contact. It means that you are comfortable looking right into her eyes. When you need to constantly be darting around your eyes away from her, it makes her feel you are either a sketchy character or lacking self-esteem.
5. TAKE INTO ACCOUNT THE SITUATION
Every situation is slightly different, and this is where CALIBRATION comes in, a topic I go into further detail in my advanced materials.
So, for example, doing pick-up at a nightclub where girls are with their girlfriends means that the girls are most likely slightly tipsy from a few drinks, concerned about how they will appear in front of their friends, and also concerned with making sure their friends are having a good time, and also they are all slightly on guard against guys even though they do want to meet guys or they probably wouldn't be there in the first place.
So, taking this into account means:
You can be MORE playful and sexual because this is not the workplace or the library. This is the party zone.
You can make more light physical contact.
You need to not ignore her friends when starting the conversation with them. You need to understand that if one of the girls who is her friend is not all that stereotypically hot, that friend probably feels BAD that her friend gets all the attention.
So it's cool of you to show that friend some respect, such as by giving that friend a compliment, even though you also have to make sure that you are not trying to lead her on either.
The conversation should start with anything not too serious, such as who would win in a fight, Mighty Mouse or Wonder Woman, whereas in a library you could start a convo with something that is a lot more intriguing, such as if you bump into her in the ancient history section, you could ask her if she has ever been to Egypt to see the pyramids, and then get into that if that is a topic you really know about and are interested in, etc.
There are TONS of other factors to take into account - is this woman in university? Is she in her 30s? 40s? 50's, etc? Is she a party girl? Calibrating for all this properly falls under the topic of social intelligence, which is another important topic.
6. COMPLIMENTS HAVE TO COME FROM A PLACE OF GIVING
Too many guys go into these pick-ups after hearing how to be all alpha and how to be the boss, in a very confrontational way.
There is this feeling of it's "me against her", and she has to see who's the boss.
This is LUDICROUS.
You want to be making her feel GOOD.
The reason that most compliments don't work is that the guy seems to have nothing ELSE fun, interesting, upbeat, or playful to say.
So a compliment can't be a substitute for not demonstrating the best aspects of PERSONALITY.
Also, regarding compliments, if a woman is showing repeated INTEREST in you, then of course you should make her feel good about that.
7. DON'T ACT AS IF IT'S SUCH A BIG SURPRISE WHEN SHE LIKES YOU
Too many guys have a MELTDOWN occur when the woman is showing INTEREST or even just giving good signals like giggling at your jokes, etc.
The guy becomes TOO AFFECTED by the fact she is interested.
Now, it's not that you are supposed to WITHHOLD good emotions from her, it's not that you are supposed to act cold, it's that if you seem to be SMILING SO CRAZILY from a woman you HARDLY KNOW just because she seems to like you, it's like acting SURPRISED that you got the job after being interviewed.
If you were interviewing someone for for a job, and you liked them for the job, and you then hired them, and suddenly they seemed to be MELTING DOWN in thanks, in being ecstatic, you might wonder if maybe this person had never been accepted for a job before and you might start to wonder if maybe you made a mistake.
Again, LOVE IS A GOOD THING, it's just that you should wait till she has SHOWN YOU A REASON TO BE SO ECSTATIC. So far, all she has done is shown interest in you, you don't even KNOW her that well yet.
So, again, by being more SUBDUED, you are actually showing greater MATURITY, and showing greater value on your part as well than if you were too impacted by the whole thing.
This is part of where the whole "be cool" thing came from, and this idea of being cool has been totally warped by most people.
8. FORGET THE INSULTS
Man-oh-man, every since day ONE I was against the use of these "clever subtle insults" such as "Is that really your hair or a wig?" or "What kind of coat is THAT?" or any type of rude behavior such as blowing your nose right up close to her face.
There are so many fricken reasons I was against this that I can write a whole book on that alone.
The bottom line is they IMPEDE your progress. Sure, it might get you some immediate ATTENTION.
But, they send the wrong message to YOUR mind about women, and they set up the vibe between the woman and you in a way that lacks trust, which means the whole thing is a ticking time bomb. Sometimes an IMMEDIATE explosion occurs.
All that stuff comes from lacking the right understanding of what triggers attraction in the first place. If you need to use that stuff, you are only showing what WEAK "game" you have. I said this years ago even when it was popular among "experts" to use these insults. That's me, the rebel who preaches love and not hate.
9. MINIMIZE CANNED MATERIAL
Man, this is a huge one. I believe that memorized material should ONLY be used when you are absolutely STUCK and frozen and have no clue what to say. The more you rely on it as a crutch, the weaker your real skills will be.
So yes, I will have a guy memorize some stuff, but it's his EMERGENCY CHUTE that is only to be used in an URGENT pick-up crisis, and ONLY to be used SPARINGLY!
The need for canned material comes from lacking internal development. From the wrong thoughts, beliefs, and perspectives of women and of attraction and emotion itself, and of your own identity. In my live programs, this is the FIRST area I work through with a guy. I find out what he currently believes and thinks, and I find out exactly where he is going off track and then I put on the RIGHT track.
Again, I said this way back, even years ago when the book The Game was popularizing the use of memorized material - the problem of course was that millions of guys THOUGHT canned stuff was good since before they had nothing to say at all, but the reality is that just opening up your mouth to a woman is not going to attract her. And in fact, most guys that use canned material do worse than guys who don't.
For example, the typical thing that a rookie at this game does when he learns memorized material is he starts to RAPID FIRE all the things he has memorized to say.
Why does he do this?
He does this because he is relying on the words, and not on his actual skill to enter the specific combination of states of mind that he needs, and he is also ignoring the larger context of the situation, meaning he is not LISTENING to the woman! He is too busy trying to get his words out--and because this all comes out WEIRD to the woman, she does not give him a FAVORABLE response-- which makes the guy feel like he is SINKING, so he then OF COURSE begins to spurt out his NEXT memorized line, hoping to Dear God that maybe THIS will get a better response, which of course it doesn't because his entire FRAME of how attraction works is all wrong.
And of course since all his memorized stuff isn't working, he then commits two cardinal pick-up sins by ALSO speaking too fast since he is nervous, so he now sounds like a guy literally reading a script, and reading it FAST. Like a desperate salesman trying to get something to stick.
At that point, he's totally not listening to her at all, when listening is what he really needs to do to get his finger on the pulse of the moment. He's just ready to fire away with another memorized line.
And it's not his fault!!!
He has been INSTRUCTED to do this!
By someone claiming to be an expert!
10. IT'S NOT ABOUT BEING "DIRECT" EITHER
And by the way, just because memorizing a script is not the way to attraction, does NOT mean that the answer is to just go right up to a woman and say "I like you!".
When you go up to a woman and you go that fast and that direct, you are FORCING a woman to make a decision about you on the SPOT, without having ANY time to really "feel" your personality, so in that case you are forcing her to judge you on superficial things, since that is all she knows about you.
It's worse actually, she DOES know that apparently YOU don't need to know much about HER, and that says a LOT about you and your personality and your values and your priorities in life and your lack of internal development.
So forget that "direct" stuff as well, it's actually not cool.
You have to instead develop the skills to create awesome emotions in yourself and in her, AND you have to learn how to create that all-important CONNECTION.
And that's where I come in.
I just happen to LOVE the ART of creating ALL AWESOME EMOTIONS and I ALSO love the science of human communication.
My friends, what you've read so far is a GLIMPSE into a whole other UNIVERSE.
And as valuable as this information here is, I assure you that what you get from my premium programs is the ENTIRE ICEBERG.
It will TOTALLY SHIFT YOUR ENTIRE PARADIGM of how you view women, attraction, and emotion itself.
You know from years of following my material that this is the most advanced, most accurate, most TRUE source of dating and pick-up advice in the WORLD.
If you want to get the best RESULTS in your life, it makes sense to go to the best SOURCE.
If you are ready for the MOTHERSHIP of all programs when it comes to attraction, go to:
If you are brand new, start your journey here:
And if you have any questions about my live trainings or questions about what would be the best program for your needs, let me know your situation and email me.
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Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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