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I bet you don't even think about all the skills you are using when you drive your car. "It's simple" you say. You just get in the car, and drive to your destination.

Big deal, right?

But think back for a second:

Your first driving lesson.
The first time on the highway.
First time parallel parking.
Your driving test.

Every time you drive on the road, you are using multiple skills, simultaneously, to not only reach your destination, but also to avoid horrendous accidents. Your eyes check the mirror, the speedometer, the gauges, you make sure to stay in the correct lane, you are watching the other traffic, both in your direction and the opposing.

Well, let me tell you something- when an "average" looking guy goes up to an attractive woman who is a complete stranger, and he walks away with her phone number, or with her herself, you can be sure he's got a license...to drive, if you will.

He can ride right into the territory of a beautiful woman, without causing an accident, a crash, or a breakdown, and then travel into her mind, conveying who he is, so that she will want to join him as he drives away.

It looks like nothing, because his skills have been so integrated to the point of it being instinct- he doesn't even think about what he's doing, it just happens. The first thing that you must realize is that YOU are driving here, NOT HER. So she's not going to do your job.

If you are wearing stinking clothes, or out of fashion clothes, if you need a lesson in basic hygiene, if you don't ensure you have fresh breath, trust me, SHE IS NOT GOING TO TAKE CARE OF THIS FOR YOU.

This is like putting SLUDGE into your gas tank and expecting your car to move. Nobody cares if your car doesn't work. They're not going to fix it for you unless you bring your car in and pay for it.

It's YOUR car, your responsibility.

YOU are in the driver's seat.

And when you approach a woman, no matter what happens, no matter what her reaction, it is up to YOU to take her mentally where you want to go. Let me tell you something, if you go up to a woman in a public place where she is NOT expecting it, you can't expect her to just say "HERE I AM, TAKE ME!".

If it was THAT pathetically easy, EVERY GUY would do it!

Let's face it- it's not typical social convention to do this. To just "go up to a woman". AND THAT IS A GOOD, GOOD THING. Because by NOT following social convention, it shows you have GUTS.

Women LIKE that.

It ALSO is more romantic for a woman to have a man SPONTANEOUSLY approach her than for her to have a formal introduction. It's far more impulsive and thrilling when a man sees a woman and just goes right up to her. So even though a woman may give you at first a slightly defensive reaction, like her eyes widening a bit, RELAX.

DON'T ABANDON SHIP.
STAY ON COURSE.

This is to be expected many times.

STAY COOL.

She is looking to YOU, the MAN, to show her that you are NOT PSYCHO, and ALSO that you are A SEXY, COOL, CONFIDENT MAN who does NOT give up at her natural defensive reaction. One of the things you can do to lessen her fear, is to approach her with a funny TEASE. It's hard to be scared and laughing at the same time. One of my favorite lines to ask a woman who is walking somewhere, "Hey where do you think you're going?" and no matter what she responds, tease her on it.

Remember, it's not the line, you can come up with thousands of your own lines, it's the attitude you convey. TEASING also prevents you from looking like a desperate man trying to kiss up to her. Your BODY LANGUAGE conveys much of your message as well- if you are SMILING the ENTIRE time you are talking to her, she will feel that she already has you hook line and sinker, and so there is nothing left for her to work for - you've ROBBED her of THE JOY of trying to IMPRESS YOU.

After all, she doesn't HAVE to try anymore, since you've indicated with your constant smiling that she ALREADY HAS you. Instead of giving a woman ALL THE POWER in the interaction, I recommend you HOLD ON to some of it yourself, and let a woman EARN the rest.

For example, who says you have to FACE A WOMAN COMPLETELY when you talk to her? Even though usually, you SHOULD look at her, and you should NOT have darting eyes, the principle of holding on to your power can even bend this rule if you understand how it works. But certainly, you DON'T HAVE TO ACTUALLY FACE HER WITH THE REST OF YOUR BODY.

At a recent workshop, on of my students went up to a girl at the mall, right by the sign that shows you where everything in the mall is...he started speaking to her while staring at the sign----

Guess what?
She starts talking to him, looking at HIM, meanwhile, he KEEPS talking as he's LOOKING at the map and the sign. This goes on for a while...

Although here it was a perfectly natural thing to do, most guys would behave as if "Well, it's a pretty girl, I want to show her my respect and interest so of course I'm going to look at her- I don't want to lose her by not looking at her'".

Women WANT men, but they DON'T WANT what they ALREADY HAVE. When you give all your power away to women, they KNOW that they
already have you. This is why it is so crucial to be more cavalier with women, especially when you first meet them. Any nervous gestures, erratic or rapid body movements all show her that you think she is the greatest thing on earth and that you value yourself as being below her.

Usually, after a bit of a tease, she will be more relaxed, if not, continue to be calm and cool, and DO NOT TURN INTO AN APOLOGETIC SCARED CHILD.

Instead, tease her again with some humor. You don't HAVE to tease her, you could just make small talk- if you use the RIGHT VOICE TONE, the RIGHT BODY LANGUAGE, the RIGHT FACIAL EXPRESSIONS. I could say the word "Hi" in at least 50 different ways, to convey anything from total insecurity, to total confidence, to a combination of a mischievous sly smile with a tone of naughtiness.

Do you see how this can work?

Once you have a woman warmed up, to the fact that you are NOT a psycho, and that YOU ARE a masculine, cool guy, I recommend that you have a bit of small talk to help make a connection between the two of you- i.e. what she's getting in the mall, or where she's coming from, or where did she get that interesting hat, or button, etc, etc, etc. If the conversation is really going great, you can arrange an INSTANT DATE right then and there- tell her you both should discuss some more over a coffee.

After your little instant date, at the bare minimum give her a hug and if she holds on, give her a kiss. AGAIN, your voice tone, your body language, all must convey that you are totally relaxed and calm and IN CONTROL....WOMEN NEED TO BE LED BY A MAN, they are REPULSED by the idea of THEM leading YOU.

You don’t have to go for the Instant Date, you could instead just tell her to give you her email, (or number- I believe email is practical and easier for everyone to reach each other these days at their convenience- plus she doesn't have to worry if you are psycho).

And no matter what, don't worry about the consequences of your approach- if she digs you, great, if she doesn't, big deal, there are thousands of other women waiting and wanting for a cool guy like you to approach them. And as your skills get better, you'll notice that the real question becomes who do YOU select to go out with. And if you want to get YOUR license for attracting women, for getting physical, and for KEEPING women crazy about you, I recommend you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.

Not only does it give you step-by-step details on how to meet women and get instant dates, emails and numbers, but it also teaches you how to get into the right mindset and keep your mind that way.

You can begin reading this important information within MINUTES of now.
To download the eBook, just go to:

Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women

Till next time...
From someone who's been there,

Michael W

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