Every guy before learning the TRUTH about attraction thinks that there are some specific set of lines that should be used for various situations with women.
Although having an awesome witty line can be helpful, and although I do teach guys some cool and fun things they can say to women to get a fun conversation rolling, I am absolutely convinced by my own experience and the experience of the hundreds of guys I have observed in my workshops and bootcamps that this stuff is just the icing on the cake.
Don't worry too much about the magic lines. Instead, learn to build your MAGIC PERSONALITY.
As I watch guys' success improve, it's interesting to see how the lines slowly disappear and something more powerful evolves: A stronger, cooler, more fun, more laid back, more MAGIC personality.
The lines they took at the beginning helped give them confidence, helped make them SEEM fun and playful, and validated. But as they grow in their development, the student BECOMES this person, and no longer needs to ACT the part.
I even encourage more advanced students to say the most bizarre things to women as an opener, but to focus on the DELIVERY and the personality and the tone- the overall VIBE behind the words, and it's incredible, the responses are still strong from women.
That's because the women are detecting something far more important than the words themselves.
I've been able to observe the subtleties in hundreds of guys' behaviors as they interact with women. And I can tell you that although having a cool line or comeback or opening sentence is helpful, by far the MOST IMPORTANT THING is the overall AURA you exude.
You ever hear the rule about grammar?
You can break the rules of grammar, but only if you KNOW why the rules are there in the first place.
Well, when it comes to attraction, it's similar, except that it goes like this:
IF YOU'VE TRULY INTEGRATED THE BELIEF SYSTEMS OF A FULLY VALIDATED PERSON, then you don't have to worry about making sure you don't appear needy for validation.
If you TRULY are emotionally independent, if you TRULY are not bogged down with insecurities, if you TRULY have positive goals and a healthy lifestyle, and if you also UNDERSTAND what women go through in terms of them being frustrated with all kinds of dumb-ass guys who only make them feel uncomfortable or make women feel like they are dealing with another woman and not a man, then you will have tons of success with women.
When all this becomes internalized and natural for you, you will CONVEY this through infinite subtleties in your demeanor, your body language, your voice, your sense of humor, your attitude, etc.
The thing is, every guy wants the easy way out. They want to know the magic line. Or they figure "yeah yeah, I'm not needy".
But then you can see how they care so much about even what other GUYS think of them. And for sure what WOMEN think of them.
They even care about other people's approval for super trivial things
This is all pure validation seeking.
It's not the way of The Man.
How much of what you do right now that is self-destructive is the result of you seeking validation? The greatest influence on most people is the other people they hang out with.
Sometimes, guys will even hold themselves back from success with women because their buddies mock the idea of having to "learn" how attraction works. Of course, those same guys who are mocking him have no clue about women as they guzzle another beer at the poker table. But as long as they have each OTHER'S approval, they get the VALIDATION from each other, and that counts more than anything else.
See, everyone seems to be enslaved to Getting the validation of the folks in their particular environment, even if that environment sucks.
Personally, the ONLY people I want in my circle are upbeat, positive, honest people that encourage each other for success. I actually ENJOY being with these people, I enjoy joking around with them, I enjoy their presence. It's not some enslavement to the validation they provide. We enjoy each other's company, the vibe of positive thinking, and we are not enslaved to validation. The only validation we might enjoy is the validation of other positive people, but we are not enslaved to it.
Unlike many other things, attraction is something that is INTANGIBLE, and it is based on intangible things. It is based on the EMOTIONS you help trigger in a woman.
If you want a woman to feel ATTRACTION, you have to STOP thinking that its about making her feel HORNY.
HORNINESS is not the same thing as ATTRACTION. Everybody has built in horniness inside. The thing is that as evolved complex beings, we tend to want to only unleash that horniness with mates we find attractive. Trying to make a woman HORNY is really only a good idea if you happen to be stranded on a deserted island with a woman where she has no other choice but to be with you.
Otherwise, it's a pretty dumb-ass idea if you use horniness as the first part of your "game". Save that for way later, when you ALREADY have a woman attracted to you.
I see these guys getting all touchy feely with women that they have just met, or going into sexual naughty talk right off the bat with a woman as their "opener".
They think they can "horny" a woman into being with them. None of this makes a woman attracted to a guy.
When that strategy works, it tends to work on women who are pretty "easy" to begin with. It's like when a woman is stone drunk. Not much "game" required there.
What DOES make a woman attracted is when a woman feels that a guy cannot be had so easily, when she feels that he is already fully validated and emotionally secure, and that he knows how to behave in a MASCULINE way, and that he also knows how to make the "dating" game challenging yet FUN. THAT is what makes a woman attracted.
So the question becomes how do you do this INSTANTLY, how do you convey all this in the first few moments you meet a woman?
It is in those first few moments that she will either be attracted or repulsed or indifferent.
The first thing you should be aware of is that a woman needs to be in the RIGHT STATE OF MIND in order to even FEEL attraction.
The emotion of attraction is a positive emotion. You can't feel a positive emotion if you are in a negative state. This is why it's so important to IMMEDIATELY get her in the right mood, never mind that you absolutely must avoid coming across as a dangerous psycho.
Enter the sense of humor. You see, humor itself is not necessarily a part of attraction, but it helps her to ALLOW HERSELF to feel attraction.
The emotion of humor is CONGRUENT with other positive emotions, such as attraction. So, if she is laughing, it's not a big jump to OTHER positive emotions, such as attraction.
This is why I'm such a huge fan of teasing a girl in a FUN way right off the bat. Not only does it get her in the right positive frame, but by teasing, you also set up a challenge which shows you are a catch, you are desirable, and of course because of that, you are not easy to get. All this enhances attraction, because as I have said many times, attraction is about superiority. You want the best and so does she.
I remember once a woman was working at a store and it was the end of the day and she was putting away these videos that were on an incredible sale. I teased her that she was just hiding them away so no one ELSE could get them and she could have them all for herself at these great prices.
Getting her laughing this way helped set the right frame of mind for having a good time and thus allowing herself to feel attraction for what else I was conveying.
Again humor is not necessary, only that she is in a more positive rather than downcast state of mind.
If you can learn to get people into great states of mind, you will not only have women banging down on your door, but you will have everyone wanting to hang out with you.
The thing is, that in order to get people in this state, it really helps if YOU are in this state as well. This is why wusses, for all their effort at being "nice", and trying to make women feel good, really AREN'T helping women feel good. Since it is very clear that they are indeed desperate and needy and in a negative state of mind, they REPULSE others, especially those who are in a good state of mind.
Especially the kinds of beautiful women who have their psychological act together.
Your state of mind is catchy, and those who have a good state of mind will seek out other positive people and reject negatives, while negative people will probably seek out or attract other negative people since they are looking for others who can validate their negative perspective.
The strange thing is that even the negative people will be intrigued by those who are positive, but they will resent them mostly for they do not validate their outlook on life and they remind them that they need to actually get off their butt and change their lives around.
So if you want to be able to attract not only beautiful women, but the kind of beautiful women who are awesome INSIDE as well, you better fix up your own "inner game".
The hell with what people think, especially if they are making you do SELF-DESTRUCTIVE things. Like things that harm your health, or that hold you back from learning new skills. Or that make you worry about your self-image.
Stop seeking validation.
Stop any self-destructive behaviours you might be doing out of peer pressure. Start living your life and feel the joy of self-validation.
As you start to live this way, you will find that you exude a totally different and powerful magnetism with all people in your life, including women.
And if you would like to get on the FAST TRACK to turbo-charge that magnetism, then you need to immediately download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women. Inside you will find a no-holds barred, easy to read guide to approaching women, triggering attraction, getting physical, and keeping the attraction for as long as you desire.
This book also forms the foundation for my more advanced concepts in my seminars and workshops and will make the seminars and workshops easier to understand.
Get it at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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