The DIFFERENCE between what an amateur does to attract a woman and what a master does might SEEM like insignificant details, yet in fact the difference is HUGE.
This is because DETAILS MATTER. There is a VERY FINE LINE between being a jerk, being a nice guy, being bitter, being a loser, and being THE MAN. Allow me to explain:
You might already know that the reality is that since so many guys kiss up to women, using everything from buying her gifts, to being an emotional "punching bag" for abuse, to everything in between, women typically tend to be extremely spoiled in our culture. This does not make women good or bad, it is just the way our brains work.
Now, the more a person has, the more they want. So, to make a long story short, women basically want a LOT from a guy these days, since most guys tend to GIVE so much.
So what is a guy to do?
Is he supposed to try to give even MORE than everybody else? More gifts? More being a "good friend who listens to all her problems?".
NO, he isn't.
That just makes him seem desperate, and therefore, NOT THE BEST.
Is he supposed to be a jerk?
NO, that just makes him seem angry for not getting any. Again, that means he is NOT the best.
The answer is that he has to deliver the message to her brain in a COMPELLING way that he in fact IS the best. Accomplishing this requires mastery of THE SUBTLETIES - in behavior, in voice tonality, in the way you dress, etc.
Not only does a guy need to know HOW to REALLY come across as THE BEST, but also he needs to know how to SUSTAIN this perception long term.
A lot of guys are able to get one night stands, but the girl then finds out the guy is NOT the best, and it's presto goodbye. Which, for some guys, is not really a problem since that's all they really want anyway, or so they say.
A lot of guys want a simple solution that doesn't require any brainwork. Well, the truth is that your brain really has developed its massive complexity and power, unlike the animals, for the VERY PURPOSE of attracting females.
So if you really don't want to use your brain at all, that's not a good thing.
What I mean by this is that you have to learn to USE your brain for the specific situation you are in, and for the specific woman who is in front of you. What is optimum for one situation is not optimum for another. Yes, there are UNIVERSAL traits that are inherent to attraction, as I mentioned last week.
Think of the universals as the BASE.
But there are also a myriad of other factors that DEPEND on the situation. These other factors are more "advanced level understanding".
So for example, if I am walking downtown in the club district at 1am and the area is overflowing with women and everyone is already in a festive mood, I can definitely be a whole lot more funky and playful and partyish and wild in my "opener". This is because the FRAME of mind of the women in this context is going to be a whole lot more relaxed and ready to have a good time.
Now, if I am walking on a downtown street that isn't busy, at 1am, on a weekday night and a woman is walking in my direction, that playful thing may not be as effective, unless you can tell from her clothing, or expression, or a host of other factors which I explain in depth in my advanced workshops, that she would in fact be open to such an approach.
But otherwise, the playful thing might be downright scary for her.
That DOESN'T mean you can't open her up. It might require a lot more subtlety and laid back and INDIRECT approach. It might even start with something like needing help for directions. The inflection of my voice, the tonality, the relaxed demeanor, the ability to let her know INDIRECTLY that I realize this situation is a bit weird and will not take advantage of it in a creepy way, all this stuff is HUGE.
These SUBTLE things make a HUGE difference and says VOLUMES about yourself to a woman. In fact, the very fact that you are sharp enough to know what is creepy and what isn't, in itself, is an attractive trait.
That's just ONE example of the more complex aspect of attraction.
Let's say you are on the phone with a woman whose number you got the day before. You call her the next day. Now, most guys have no clue how many guys girls give their number out to.
(Again, I'm talking about MOST girls, not every girl.)
The guy thinks he is hot stuff, till 35 seconds later she tells him she has to go and she never calls back. This used to happen to me up till about 4 years ago. But once you realize that to a woman, a number is no big deal, you start to TAKE ON THE SAME ATTITUDE, and you learn that if you REALLY want to turn that number into a date, you are going to have to come across as SUPERIOR.
But just learning the art of WHAT is considered superior can take a lot of practice if someone doesn't explain it to you. You see, from a guy's point of view, superior is "not playing games", because guys come from a DESPERATE frame all too often. But from a girl's point of view, she's not playing games, she's just not needy for any new guy, they are all the same to her since they are so numerous. In order to rise ABOVE the rest of the guys in her life, you need to internalize the specific behaviors of true confidence, i.e. A WOMAN'S FRAME.
So, going back to our example, from the moment she picks up that phone when you call, you have to CLEARLY come across as a guy who is USED to getting what he wants, and who KNOWS HOW to get what he wants, and who ONLY goes for the best.
This is not simple stuff, unless you happen to REALLY be in that situation and so the behaviours come naturally. This is why learning from someone who knows the details about this stuff can save you SO MUCH TIME.
If you could REALLY see life from the viewpoint of an attractive woman, you would see the TRUTH of what to do and how to behave. In the meantime, the next best thing is to learn it from someone who figured it out.
Here's another example:
Let's say you were doing online dating. You set up a great profile. So good in fact, that women are contacting YOU.
She contacts you, she tells you she thinks you and her have so much in common. (read: she sees you are as SUPERIOR as she is by reading between the lines of your ingenious profile). You start a couple of emails back and forth. You tell her to leave her number, and she tells you she doesn't know you well enough yet.
AT THIS POINT, YOU REACH A FORK IN THE ROAD:
Most guys will either say something like "what do you want to know?"
If you say something like that, you are being SWALLOWED INTO HER CONTROL.
I.E. You are demonstrating that SHE is calling the shots, that SHE is superior.
If you say something like "well, I don't waste my time on girls that don't give me their number", you are doing better, but still, you might be overdoing it. You are getting too SERIOUS, as in taking her too seriously when you in fact hardly know her.
SUPERIOR guys don't act this way, they don't get all uptight so fast.
Think about it- imagine you were getting girls like Pamela Anderson coming out of your ears every day. How might you react to such a statement?
You might say something like "haha, it's okay, I know you don't have a phone and are just embarrassed".
Do you see how this shows a guy who is REALLY UNAFFECTED by her bullshit? Who is SO CONFIDENT, SO NOT-NEEDY, SO FULL OF HOT BABES IN HIS LIFE, that he really comes across this way?
I think you can see how the things I am talking about are the REAL DEAL.
If you would like to learn more about this, I suggest you download and read my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women. Inside, you will find the most powerful ways to trigger attraction in women. And it won’t even require “lines”, and it will work ANYWHERE, from streets to malls to clubs to your local bus stop. It also shows you how to take things from first meeting her all the way to getting physical, and there is an important section on relationships as well that I believe is nowhere else to be found.
Download it now at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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