Since day one, I've been the guy who emphasized COMPLETE development, and balance in your life, and you can see it in my first book, it's still there. It was never about using "special tactics" but rather about BECOMING a certain type of PERSON.
It's about YOU, and the way that gets EXPRESSED through everything else from what you say to what you do to what you wear.
Also, it was not about QUANTITY of women, as that can easily be achieved by simply going for "easy" women.
With that in mind, let's take a look at some letters from the real world.
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Hey Michael, how are you?
I work in the social work field and I gotta tell you, your ideas are on the money. Stuff I never thought about, stuff that goes against everything I thought and believed "till now.
I was in a short relationship, 2 months, about 3 months ago. It just recently ended and I'm really feeling it. Had I had your materials beforehand I think things would have turned out differently.
She was everything I could ask for, beautiful, smart, nice. We both fell for each other, so it seemed, really fast.
Thinking back now I realize that she put me through what you refer to as the s**t tests. I thought I passed them, but looking back I realize that I failed every one of them.
I'm not gonna go into details about why she broke up with me, but I'll tell you that it was my lack of self-worth that caused me to put her on a pedestal and pressure her away via my insecurities.
My question is this, does your "stuff" work on a guy who's 40 years old? I mean, do the dynamics change for different age brackets? I keep telling myself, "man if I only had this 15 years ago I would have saved myself a lot of grief". I need to fix some things about me and get in the game.
I'm just wondering if this all applies at 40. By the way, I've got it pretty together, I look much younger than I am, I'm considered attractive and I have a good career. I just got to get some game.
P., New York
Michael W., The Dating Wizard, Replies:
First of all, thank you for your honesty and the props on my programs. The reality is that these insecurities are a mother of an issue for most guys. And so what happens is that rather than CONFRONTING these issues, guys end up compensating for the issue by acting in all kinds of ways that actually push women AWAY.
Or, the guy ends up settling for or accepting a relationship with a woman that is abusive.
Why is why my approach focuses on massive INTERNAL development that allows for very tangible results in the real world with women.
And YES, this stuff ABSOLUTELY works on a guy who's 40 years old. Without giving you BULL, the reality is that this stuff works also for guys who are 50, 60, and 70. The reason why it WORKS is because this is about EMOTIONS. A woman doesn't care about the LOGIC of anything as long as you are making it FEEL awesome.
Also, to be honest, in many ways, 40 is a BABY. You are entering your prime, because you have the experience and maturity to now take my materials and make a relationship with a woman something even more emotionally COMPELLING for her.
Whereas most guys that are younger are still stuck in the "Happy Days" mentality of "what club should I got to on Saturday night", you may have the potential to offer a woman a lot more emotionally.
Think of the aura created by Mickey Rourke in 9 ½ Weeks vs. the aura created by The Fonz in "Happy Days". (And if you haven't seen 9 ½ Weeks, go see it, just remember not to learn from the psycho parts near the end, but rather the BEGINNING parts, i.e. his demeanor, the way he attracts Kim's character when he first meets her, the places he takes her to, the way he keeps sex erotic, unpredictable, passionate, the way he makes her feel feminine by him being masculine, the way he can be playful yet exciting, etc.)
So the Fonz is cool, but Rourke in the film is a little more...adult.
So you can go beyond the high school mentality of most guys (i.e. "I scored!" or "I've got to score!") and go into something that is not only sexual, but also EROTIC. The deepest levels of attraction are MORE than just sexual:
The deepest levels of attraction are actually many different emotions at once, as I explain on my website: The Dating Wizard Website
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Thanks for the book! It explains a lot of where I've went wrong, and went right without realizing why in the past.
I have a question:
I'm in the 'classic' problem of wanting a woman who happens to be a friend - not wanting to waste an opportunity, not wanting to blow a good friendship.
Here's the story - I've known this girl, not as a close friend but someone who's been around for a few years - on and off we've been in the same city or conversely in different countries for months at a time; for over a year I was with another girlfriend etc., etc., you get the picture.
Anyway, the friend I'm talking about - recently we've had more opportunity to hang out with each other. A couple of weeks back I thought I'd see what my luck was, we were sharing a bottle of wine together, I flirted, she backed away, so I backed off too. The next couple of times we met I think we both made a point of allowing there to be a bit more distance between us than usual.
Right now, I've just returned her call and she suggested meeting at a cafe for lunch. I go 'yes, let's meet, but come round, I'll cook us something'.
The past me would assume that we're only meant to be friends and would not make any move... however the past me knew very little about relationships and the present me is still learning. What is your take on this? Thanks in advance for your input,
B. from UK
Michael W., The Dating Wizard, Replies:
First of all, just in case you are not seeing other women right now, you need to start doing that right away, or this whole situation will mess you up internally.
Now, if you are seeing other women, and you are still interested in her, then I can tell you that YES, there is a chance that you can take this situation further, but the challenge is that you had a couple of meetings where it seems you were put into the friend zone, and that's hard to get out of.
It's easy to change zones when you are in the friends zone and it's your CHOICE, but not so easy when SHE puts you there.
So, the only choices you have here, if you want to make this happen, is to seriously ESCALATE the interaction when the moment is right.
I'm not going to explain the entire dynamics of attraction in one newsletter, but I will say that the key thing here is ESCALATION. In fact, that time that you flirted and she backed away, may very well have just been initial token resistance that EVERY girl gives when she is feeling not 100 percent sure, rather than a "BACK OFF MISTER" kind of thing, as you might already know.
So you have to be persistent, yet totally chilled out, and you have to be INTENT on this in your mind- not the kind of "negative pressure" but the kind of intent where it's like "Man, I am going to GET this chick, because she turns me ON!" This kind of mentality blows apart any obstacles. You have to learn to instantly reframe and any kind of stuff she throws at you, i.e. she says "I dunno about this, I don't want to ruin a friendship" so you say back "you talk too much" with a confident smile and then pull her in, and KISS her.
If she still backs away, cut her loose, completely, and don't call her at all. Let her see you with other women. (And not just in a game, you really SHOULD be going out with other women anyway). Let it be TOTALLY ON HER at that point to feel it, to think about it, to come to the conclusion on her own.
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Hey Michael, what's up?
I was wondering, there's 2 girlz I can go for.
The first is a really nice girl my friend introduced me to at a club. we had one date, it went ok, i tried to kiss her, but she wasn't ready. a few days after she told me she just wanted to be friends, and i was kind of ok with it. but a few weeks later, she is really depressed and she whines and moans to me about her ex-boyfriend who is a real asshole to her.
and i actually said yes to being her shoulder to cry on. the 2 things i want to know about this situation is:
1. how can i tell a girl to f'off with her problems with her boyfriends without hurting their feelings,
2. how can i attract her back?
the other girl is one i know at school, she's really nice, and she knows i like her, ive asked her out but she said not at the moment, and ive been kind of trying some tips to help attract her to me, but they dont really seem to be working out. so i just told her that i'm done trying to date her, so i'd like to know how i can attract her without her knowing i'm doing anything.
Michael W., The Dating Wizard, Replies:
Okay, I appreciate your honesty, but let me cut to the chase: From your email, I can tell that the solution to what's going on here goes WAY DEEPER than any "do this to her " or "do that to her" answer, because right now, in the state that you're in, and in the perspectives that you have on women, no matter what you say, it's not going to come out right.
How do I know this? Because of "the first is a really nice girl my friend introduced me to at a club."
How does mean she's nice?
What has she done to show you how "nice" she is?
You're already putting her on a pedestal.
Then, "I tried to kiss her, but she wasn't ready." Even though it's true that a girl needs to be "ready", it's not nearly as big a deal as you think it is. In fact you can often get girls that hardly KNOW you at ALL to kiss you. So it seems as if you're perspective on women is that all the "power" is in their hands, as if you can only hope to kiss THEM when they are good and "ready".
Then you say: "a few days after she told me she just wanted to be friends, and i was kind of ok with it."
Kind of okay sounds to me like "kinda not sure." Look, here's the reality: You probably could have made her MORE than just friends, but if a woman DOES end up wanting to just be friends, then be DECISIVE about it. So TRULY be TOTALLY COOL with it, and move on to other girls.
The sad thing is that it's a cycle, because if you are NOT cool with it, then you don't move on properly, and you don't get the other girls, and then you go back to thinking about the first girl, and that makes you needy, which makes you not able to get her or other girls. The REVERSE is true as well, i.e. if you ARE cool with it, you easily move on to other girls, and if you can so easily move on to other girls, you probably would have been the guy who was not needy at all, and you would likely have gotten the first girl.
Which would also skyrocket your inner game and make you attract other girls as well.
So the best thing you can possibly do right now, and something that is cost effective as well, is to get my Mastery Program right now at:
After that, I seriously suggest you consider a Bootcamp with me in the near future, so that I can make sure you've got the skills ingrained and that you will never have these kinds of issues with women again.
***LETTER FROM A READER***
Hey man, i bought your book and things are going way better now. During the first week i didn't see any magic, but after that when i actually started to be the man at all times even really good friends started to get all flirty and stuff. Any i just made a profile for an online dating website and if i could have your review on it it'd be great.
Why are you looking at my profile?
Did I ask you to? Because seriously if you want to know me it's not here you'll find the stuff; try asking for my msn and then we'll talk how bout that? But don't bother if you think you're not hot, crazy, and up to some extreme sports, such as rock climbing, bungee jumping, bed jumping etc.
And you might as well know to how to have fun, because a relationship without pillow-fights really isn't worth it.
If you've got all of these now just make sure you aren't shy, creepy, bad humored, always ranting and that you won't tell me every detail of every day you live and lived :)
Also you should be an active, maybe even overactive person, because if you aren't you'll be promising me quite some boring times doing nothing; you should always be up for stuff, but sure you should get a few nights sleep otherwise you wouldn't survive a whole day would you? I'm an early day starter, and by 3 am I'm totally wasted and then I'd only sleep to about 11am and I'd be full of energy again. A morning juice can really do miracles
I'm a healthy person and so should you be, sometimes I don't eat the healthiest stuff, but I always exercise a lot, so I've got a good looking body although that isn't not even close to 1% of what I am; it's just a bonus.
I'd prefer if you didn't smoke, and if you do I'd help you quit or keep you at a distance when your smoking, for health reasons that actually matter to me.
If you know how to sing it is quite a plus, because I really love that when I'm playing guitar people sing along. I think music reflects what is on people's minds and their personalities, just like art. Feelings can't have words describing them, but music and art can shows us feelings very well. So yeah i really appreciate art and love playing on my guitar, it's always a good thing to have around; it makes us always have something to do.
i think it shows i'm quite picky but there's a sense of humor missing in it..
Michael W., The Dating Wizard, Replies:
Okay, man, you are obviously starting to get it, or you wouldn't be getting the better reactions from women in real life.
Now, when you're online, the truth is that it's the EXACT SAME THING as real life, but what happens is that in real life you have more tools at your disposal, such as your voice, your body language, your style, your tonality, etc, to help get the right vibes across.
Also, what happens is that guys figure that since they are on the INTERNET, they should be SPECIAL, OR DIFFERENT from how they are in real life.
That's ABSURD, though!
Attraction is UNIVERSAL.
Here's the funny thing though: When you REALLY get good at doing this stuff in real life, then online becomes a TOTAL JOKE. Why? Because you then UNDERSTAND just how LAME most guys come across in real life, and you UNDERSTAND the INSECURITIES that most guys PROJECT from their real life onto the INTERNET dating sites.
This is not about FOOLING women, it's about developing yourSELF.
That self will then show up and be attractive wherever it is present.
But right now, you are still thinking that you need to be DIFFERENT on the net.
The idea is the same as always, to give women AWESOME EMOTIONS by being an "AWESOME EMOTIONED" GUY YOURSELF. And that shows naturally when you communicate.
But your profile right now, there is a lot of stuff saying that you are ANGRY. Or bitter. Or too serious.
Are you really? Because if you really are, there's internal work that needs to be done.
Let's look at the intro:
"Why are you looking at my profile?
Did I ask you to? Because seriously if you want to know me it's not here you'll find the stuff; try asking for my msn and then we'll talk how bout that?"
Ummm, this is better than being a total wuss, but it's still NOT cool.
Is this how a guy who really is chilled out and not-needy and in a great state already, who already has everything he needs, is this how he feels and acts and talks?
It's starting things off on the wrong foot at the outset. It sounds like a guy who is fed up and pissed off. It's cold.
Now, if it said something like:
"Why are you looking at my profile? I'm feeling like a sex object now, the way you keep undressing me with your eyes. Stop it. I made sure to wear extra clothes just for the picture because I know what's on your mind, and I won't have it. My mind must be made love to first, ok?"
I mean, I just came up with that this second, literally, but I think you can see the IMMEDIATE difference in impact.
First of all, it's playful, it's not serious, it's a sign of a guy with REAL CHOICES. It's also warm, because it shows sexuality, in a way that shows he understands the typical WOMEN'S perspective on guys, and that he is reversing it. It also allows a woman a license now to BE sexual with him, because it's all "playful" and not putting her under serious pressure. So it's the best of all worlds.
Don't get me wrong, you can get to the fact you have high standards, definitely, but she needs to first FEEL a desire to be with you. And if she feels no emotion for you, there's no desire.
Then you have:
"But don't bother if you think you're not hot, crazy, and up to some extreme sports, such as rock climbing, bungee jumping, bed jumping etc."
This is better, it's more challenging, and fun, with one caveat though:
The truth though is that if you were a guy who HAD tons of women as options, you probably would actually be not too hung up a girl being HOT. Like, of course you want her to be hot, but that would be UNDERSTOOD, and more importantly, a woman would figure from the VIBES of your profile that you DID get women who were hot.
Never SAY what women can better FIGURE OUT. If they figure it out on their own, it engages them more.
Just like in real life, the more secure you are about having something, the less of a pressing need it is. You assume it, so you focus on the OTHER things, and trust me, women who are hot, the guys they DO hook up with, those guys are looking for MORE than just being hot, and those women know it, that's part of what attracts them.
The being hot is just the beginning.
But of course, it's okay to mention that a woman should be attractive, it's just not necessary, especially not in a "don't bother if you're not hot" sense, that's really not cool.
The pillow fights thing is good, (I think I wrote that in a newsletter and my materials, didn't I? ;) Still, good. )
Then it starts to commit the cardinal sin of LOGIC and boring facts, even though you say you don't want a boring girl!
"I'm an early day starter, and by 3 am I'm totally wasted and then I'd only sleep to about 11am..." and "I'm a healthy person and so should you be, sometimes I don't eat the healthiest stuff, but I always exercise a lot, so I've got a good looking body although that isn't not even close to 1% of what I am; it's just a bonus."
Instead of SAYING you are this or that, let her FEEL it. If you work out, she can tell from the section that says "ripped" or "muscular" or whatever. Or you can mention it in a playful way, but don't just state statistics.
"I'd prefer if you didn't smoke"
Umm, again, neither here nor there.
"If you smoke, you're wips won't kiss my wips."
You make a CLEAR statement, and it's playful at the same time.
So that a girl that does NOT smoke can playfully say back "my wips never touched a smoke" as she tries to earn your approval.
And so much more, but it looks like we're out of time and out of space, which means that if you're reading this article right now and you'd like to CHANGE YOUR REALITY with women right now, no matter WHERE you meet, the most POWERFUL step you can take is a BOOTCAMP with me.
That way, I can personally make SURE you have gone through the REAL internal transformation that goes far beyond just lines, pick up, or even sex. I'm talking about a transformation that NATURALLY changes the very way you FEEL and THINK. This is REAL DEVELOPMENT we're talking about. So that your interactions with women are not about "moves" anymore. No more sleazy pick up artist "tactics". This is not "Happy Days", this is about REAL FUNDAMENTAL INTERNAL DEVELOPMENT that most guys will never go through.
You'll be IMMERSED in the most powerful Program on Earth and you will graduate as a new MAN.
Will you become a MASTER from the Bootcamp alone? No, what you WILL get is enough MOMENTUM and internal development so that you ACTUALLY ARE IMPROVING all the time, instead of moving in circles all the time.
You will develop new INSTINCTS that you will hone.
In a concrete sense, even upon IMMEDIATE graduation, you will have about a HUNDRED TIMES better of a chance of getting the girl compared to most guys who are going on LUCK alone. Get the bootcamp facts:
If this is a goal you'd like to achieve, and you are prepared to work on it, instead of looking for a "magic line" then it's time you got yourself the finest education you can possibly get on this topic by ordering my Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program. It's at:
And if you haven't already downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then definitely do that immediately. It's the foundation, where the journey begins.
I have spent literally YEARS learning these skills the hard way, trying just about EVERYTHING until I broke through to what really works. And the great news is that it CAN be taught, it CAN be learned.
And you can start to understand and learn by downloading my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, here:
One more thing about me- I don't just know this stuff, I know how to teach different types of people. I'm a professional and certified teacher, a graduate of one of the most vigorous teacher education programs in the world.
The way I look at it, if you are serious about improving your skills in any area, it's about getting an education in that area. With me, you are learning from someone who has BOTH the practical experience and yet also understands the best pedagogical practices for learning and teaching. This becomes even more powerful in my live coaching programs where I can meet you and get feedback from you to make sure that I explain and demonstrate things in a way you understand. And in my one-on-one programs such as my bootcamps and consultations, I will gear every SECOND of the program to suit your particular learning style.
It's a WIN-WIN situation.
Download this special book right now at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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