Around one year ago, I met a stunning woman I had not seen in several years. She had known only knew the old version of me, the version that thought women were angels, etc.
Pretty soon, we were hitting it off (better than ever) and somehow in middle of one conversation, she blurted out that the reason I was so much more "tough" (as she put it) these days was because I had many options in terms of women to date. I slowly shook my head and winked at her, casually replying "No, actually. It's the other way around- I'm tough, and THAT’S why there's no shortage."
And then she had that look on her face that said: OK, THIS GUY KNOWS WHERE IT’S AT.
When it comes to success with women, there are THREE KEYS far, far more important than all the rest. I don't care what system is out there, how complex and sophisticated they seem to be, they all rely on these THREE KEYS.
FIRST, you must become this unstoppable force. THEN, you get the woman. Remember the following line from SCARFACE? "In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the woman."
Well, there IS some truth to that, but the MORE ACCURATE statement would be: "FIRST you must gain MASSIVE SELF-ESTEEM, EMOTIONAL STRENGTH, and DOMINANCE. THEN you get the WOMAN"
Once you are in the RIGHT STATE OF MIND, you will then become VERY resourceful with the right things to say and do. NATURALLY. You see, although there are a lot of guys who say they have the "most sophisticated and latest hypnosis" techniques to get you women, the truth is that YOU ALREADY HAVE THE MOST SOPHISTICATED, ADVANCED, AND EVOLVED weapon for success- it's your highly evolved human BRAIN.
And let me tell you, SEX is probably the human race's greatest specialty. Unlike animals, we mate all year long, for pleasure as well as procreation.
Do you think that after a million years, something as fundamental to the survival of the species as how to ensure SEX would not have been made "instinctive" in the brain?
Believe me, NO TOOL is ever going to match your brain, which has evolved steadily over a million years to handle almost ANY challenge presented by the need for survival. So, allow me to help you help your brain do it's thing. As Jerry Maguire said, "Help me help you".
What is EMOTIONAL TOUGHNESS? Well, for men, I think it's a combination of MASSIVE SELF ESTEEM, a healthy dose of DOMINANCE, and the ability to not get emotional so fast. If any of that sounds like a stereotype, then GOOD. Because THAT is what MEN are SUPPOSED to be.
You see, I believe men are like this NATURALLY. We just get MISGUIDED from a young age by being told to behave otherwise. We are already pre-wired to behave the way that WORKS to attract women, but we go against our own wiring to be MEN.
Yes, to be MEN.
THAT is what WOMEN are attracted to, and for good reason- for over a million years, a woman needed such characteristics in a man for SURVIVAL. When I talk about SELF-ESTEEM, I mean HUGE DOSES OF THIS STUFF. So much so that you feel DAMN GREAT ABOUT YOURSELF.
For all the talk about women and body image and them having low self-esteem, I believe most men are suffering from low self-esteem as well, since they find that all their misguided yet endless struggle to attract women usually yields no results. Attractive women just sit there and have guys approach them. Even a woman who is not so attractive could still get her share of male attention if she takes basic action. But guys go around trying hard to meet women, doing the hogwash that society teaches them to do, and they keep hitting a brick wall.
This can be tough on the self-esteem.
And I have GREAT NEWS FOR YOU: You DON'T need a woman’s validation of you to have SELF-ESTEEM. Of course, if you HAVE HIGH SELF-ESTEEM, women will be drawn to you to such a degree it will seem ABSURD.
You see, most guys have it all wrong: They think to themselves, "If I had a woman, I would be so confident, and happy, and fulfilled".
The reality is more like this: "If I was a stronger person internally, I would have women."
And how do you GET SELF-ESTEEM? Well, the first thing is to realize that NOTHING brings you happiness unless you DECIDE that it does. Think about that. Think about how much PERSONAL POWER that ONE sentence gives you over your life. Don't buy into the crapola that you need a woman's approval to feel good. (or anyone else's approval). I recommend a FANTASTIC BOOK on the subject of internal power, called Man’s Search For Meaning, by Frankel.
By not buying into the baloney that you need a woman’s approval, you RESERVE YOUR POWER FOR YOURSELF INSTEAD OF GIVING IT ALL AWAY TO WOMEN.
When you are FREE of all the B.S., you suddenly are free of ALL YOUR FEARS. You suddenly find that you do not need to live in a "bubble" anymore, because you can HANDLE what life throws your way, including what women throw your way, since women are not controlling your every action and thought. You reserve THE POWER FOR HAPPINESS for YOURSELF.
Which brings me to the topic of EMOTIONAL STRENGTH.
FEAR is paralyzing. It stops you from really living. And there is NO NEED for most fears- they come from LIES. I deal with these LIES in my eBook, lies ranging from the myth that women are only attracted to looks and money, to the lie that women want guys to buy them dinners and gifts. For now, just realize that your fears about women are NOT natural - they are the product of culture and brainwashing, albeit it may not have been intentional. When you are FREE of these fears, and especially, in terms of success with women, when you are FREE OF YOUR FEARS of needing women for happiness, THAT is when your success with women will SKYROCKET.
You see, women SENSE when you DON'T need them. When you DON'T NEED women, women want you MORE, since you convey STRENGTH AND SELF-ESTEEM. And the way to get into this state of mind is to start THINKING this way about women, and life, ALL THE TIME.
Listen, you ARE your thoughts. As you constantly think, so you will become. I believe that women's b.s. about wanting a "sensitive guy" has made guys EMOTIONALLY WEAK. So FORGET "sensitive guy"- it's BAD, BAD ADVICE. Be tougher, about everything- stay cool as much as possible about EVERYTHING in life. Hey, does JAMES BOND sweat over anything? Ever wonder what Sean Connery and Pierce Brosnan convey with this character? THE ESSENCE OF COOL.
And if you train your mind to think this way, by CONSTANTLY thinking this way, you will soon realize that this is the way things were MEANT to be. You will feel how much more powerful and resourceful you are with women. I mean power in a non-needy sense, and a sense of ENRICHING and bringing VALUE to your interactions with women. Simultaneously, you should also DO THE ACTIONS that are consistent with this philosophy- so actually consciously STOP yourself from any behaviors that run contrary to the idea of NOT NEEDING a woman's approval or love in order to feel fulfilled:
-Stop talking about women as if they ruled your life.
-Stop calling a woman who does not respect you or reciprocate your affection.
-Stop running your life around women.
And you should be PROACTIVE about behaviors that are consistent with the philosophy outlined above:
i.e. if you have plans with a friend for an evening, and a woman calls you up, KEEP YOUR PLANS WITH YOUR FRIEND instead of canceling the plans so you can go out with the woman. This is CONGRUENT with the philosophy of not kissing up to women as if they were the gods in charge of your happiness. After all, if you don't NEED women, why would you ditch your friends for a woman?
I see so many guys who will be talking to a woman, and when a guy they know says hi and is walking by, the guy will ignore him so he can worship the woman. Awwwwww man it hurts to watch this, cause I know where he is going to end up in a few weeks or months- The woman will DUMP him and he won't know why, He'll be telling me "But I treated her so WELL!"
If you want to develop EMOTIONAL STRENGTH, you MUST at first consciously make decisions to live that way, until it becomes natural. If you can conquer these fears based on total lies, you will have the confidence and energy to accomplish almost anything in life. For most guys, handling the area of their life called "women" is a massive DRAIN on their energy.
It doesn't have to be this way.
Emotional Strength most definitely includes not needing women to approve of you in order for you to be fulfilled and at peace, and it includes not getting sad or angry or even so happy because of something a woman does.
So that's the irony:
If you want women, learn NOT to need them. Then you'll have your choice from more women than you can possibly handle.
I believe women respond so strongly to this trait because emotional strength is the greatest determinant of a person's ability to succeed- i.e. intelligence, physical strength do NOT contribute to a person's success in life NEARLY as much as that person's EMOTIONAL I.Q. (check out Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence for more on this)
So to put it bluntly, sex is about SURVIVAL. While men looked to women's physical attributes for child rearing abilities, men on the other hand could easily father children even in their later years, so women judged men on OTHER qualities- his ability to SURVIVE the challenges of life, to provide, to hunt, to protect, to get food, etc. And success requires emotional strength, so women Were looking for men who had that QUALITY. That quality of total confidence and this could be observed by a man's obvious self-esteem.
Once you develop this self-esteem, you will find it far more NATURAL to KID AROUND with women and to tease them and to NOT kiss their ass. After all, you are NOT AFRAID of what women Can do to you, since they can do NOTHING bad unless you ALLOW IT TO in your mind. And here is where a lot of guys mess up.
They are all cool when they meet a woman, and then they get so used to having a woman around, that when the woman threatens them or acts up, the guy actually starts to FALL for her tricks and he even starts to BELIEVE that she may have some power over him. And he slowly starts to allow her to play With his emotions, to beat down on his confidence, And of course all this adds up to LOW SELF ESTEEM. Which of course ends up ruining the relationship.
Slowly, without realizing it, a cool hip guy Lets his personal power slip through his fingers. Needlessly. DON'T BE THAT GUY.
Finally, let me speak a bit about DOMINANCE again. I believe that sexually, women naturally respond to DOMINANCE. That is not the same as pushing yourself unwanted on to a woman. It means MAKING DECISIONS and LEADING the way, and not asking for her approval. She can always TELL you if she doesn't approve. Women WILL NOT initiate action for sex. It is up to YOU as a MAN.
Dominance has a lot of subtlety to it- from the first moment you meet a woman, she can tell- are you looking to her for approval? Are you speaking in a meek voice? Are you afraid to "rock the boat"? Are you waiting a month before you kiss her? Are you asking her what SHE would like to do all the time? So if you want success with women, forget about hypnosis, complicated manipulative tactics, and instead JUST BE A MAN. It comes naturally, and it naturally turns women on more than anything else.
Let me give a quick example of how you might approach a woman successfully and naturally: Let's say you see her on the bus.
Well, you go sit next to her or stand beside her, IMMEDIATELY, because you are not afraid since she has NO POWER over you emotionally. You feel good about yourself, so you don't have excuses not to go up to her. You feel DOMINANT over her and it shows in the way you BEHAVE. Instead of turning this into some kind of big deal, you have FUN with it- maybe you tease her about something, maybe you make an interesting comment about something she is reading, the bottom line is you connect in a HUMAN way, and a CONFIDENT way, not a robotic one.
At the same time, your self-esteem is sky high, so your comments are not nasty, but rather good-natured like you would do with a buddy. Before it's time for either one of you to go, you TAKE ACTION and you don't wait for her to do it- you tell her to give you her email so she can be with a cool dude - you- again. And as you do all this, you will naturally convey self-esteem, emotional strength and dominance through your voice tone, body language, etc.
And if YOU want to learn more about how to succeed with women in a way that feels GOOD and feels natural, and requires no memorization, then I seriously suggest you download my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
If someone could have written a book like this when I was struggling to succeed with women, I would have done almost ANYTHING to get my hands on it.
You can begin reading this important information within MINUTES of now.
To download the eBook, just go to:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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