I've never been into mumbo-jumbo when it comes to showing guys the reality of what is involved in learning to attract the most incredible women. There are no magic words or secret tricks. It takes skill, and it takes knowledge, and it takes practice. The fact of the matter is that if being successful with hot women was easy, every guy would be doing it.
At a fundamental level, the criterion that determines your attraction power is the degree to which your mind has been conditioned, the degree to which you have pushed your mind in this arena. This is the most difficult part of becoming more successful at attraction. It involves GREAT MENTAL EFFORT as well as a disciplined lifestyle so that you can call up your resourceful state of mind at any time.
What do I mean by effort? Well, for example, if you are uncomfortable even saying "hi" to a woman, then saying "hi" will be a HUGE INTERNAL STEP of progress for you, and an important step in your journey to success.
For someone else, he may be uncomfortable carrying on a conversation beyond 2 minutes. For him, THAT will be his "sticking point". For another guy, it may be getting things "physical". It doesn't matter, for each person, he has his "sticking point" that he must pass.
This is no different than lifting weights, which is an excellent analogy: The only way to get stronger, the only way to pass your "sticking points" (unless you use drugs like steroids, which causes a whole other series of problems) is by conditioning your mind to withstand progressively greater physical and psychic stress, just a bit more each time. Even if it’s just half a pound.
That little tiny bit involves A HUGE effort, because it is a step BEYOND what your body and your brain has been conditioned to do.
Every little bit is SURPASSING PREVIOUS STRESS THRESHOLDS, placing NEW STRESS on your body. Remember, your body naturally doesn't feel the NEED to change, to adapt, unless the need is HUGE. So you have to push yourself HARD for every gain, for your body to respond.
It's not your muscles that are feeling anything, it's your MIND. Of course, you have to be realistic, you have to be 100 percent honest with yourself- if you throw on a lot more weight than you can possibly handle, you will not even be able to move the weight and the exercise will be virtually pointless. However, if you even add a little bit more weight than you were able to handle the last time, it will be HELLISH work, but you will be able to do it, and even if you don't complete the lift fully, your body will respond if it was a maximum effort in good form.
This is the same with approaching women and interacting with women. Even if you "fail", i.e. you don't get the email or number or date or "lay", the fact of the matter is that you are internally progressing, even if you don't notice it at first. It’s a gradual improvement, and the problem is that many guys give up as soon as they don't see immediate results. But that is ridiculous, because progress is happening, it's just SUBTLE.
Just like not every workout do you go up in weight, but if you keep at it, you eventually break through your sticking point. Those workouts where you did NOT lift more weight, but you pushed yourself to your proper limits, were JUST as critical and useful as the workouts where you DID increase your resistance. In fact, they were the KEY to the workouts where you improved. There was a tiny bit of progress, just not enough to monitor in terms of weight.
There's another important analogy:
When working out, it's important to not be afraid of getting "stuck" or "pinned" under the weight, or you will psyche yourself out. This is why many people use "spotters"- either a safety rack in place or having another dude who will watch you in case you get stuck so you can just focus on pushing. In fact, it's important to push to the point of FAILURE or you WON’T get anywhere.
i.e. If you don't push to the point of FAILURE, you don't PROGRESS.
You need to go the point that you FAIL in order to PROGRESS.
It's the exact same thing with learning to hone your skills at attraction. SCREWING UP is not bad, it's actually the only way to GROW. If you never screw up, if you don't push beyond your COMFORT ZONE, chances are that your skills will never improve and that you are stagnating in your comfort zone. So if a guy is comfortable talking to women, but uncomfortable moving them to a different area of the club, or with asking them to coffee, he is only going to improve by pushing beyond his comfort zone, and if he "screws up' or "FAILS" that first or second or 30th time, he is actually PROGRESSING, as long as it was a focused effort each time and not just a half-assed thing.
Also, being dishonest with yourself and taking on TOO MUCH at once i.e. a guy who has never approached a woman who wants to be able to be THE MASTER overnight - will simply not be able to benefit from that challenge, since he has no internal frame of reference of concept of what is actually involved. It’s like a guy who walks in the gym for the first time and tries to lift the heaviest weights in the room. Pointless.
I'd like to carry the analogy further: Being successful in the gym means more than what you do in the gym. It means LIFESTYLE. That means you don't eat junk, you get proper rest, you don't waste physical and mental energy on things that bring you down - otherwise you will not recuperate mentally and physically for the gym and you will injure yourself.
It's the same thing with dealing with women:
If you allow yourself to get bogged down by a woman who treats you with disrespect, your emotions will get weaker and weaker, or if you get uptight about every little thing, or if you have poor time management, you will have no energy to properly approach women so that your skills can improve. You will "injure" yourself emotionally, either when you approach women or while you deal with other things in your life, and it will take you time to heal, during which time you will have to be EXTRA careful not to repeat such stupid mistakes again so that you can get back on track ASAP.
And finally, just like in training in the gym, some people resort to artificial means to enhance their progress- for example, steroids. The equivalent of this is guys that use alcohol or other drugs or money to get courage or to manipulate women. On the SURFACE everything looks GREAT to everyone ELSE, i.e. hot woman seems to be with guy, but internally there is so much crap going on that the whole point is defeated- the idea is to be THE ULTIMATE MAN, who is with a woman that further ENHANCES his life, NOT to be THE ULTIMATE WUSS who sacrifices his own esteem, health, and values just to be with some chick.
Once you adopt this attitude to living your LIFE, you will see great progress in your interactions with women. For one thing, you will be more focused on your goals in life besides just meeting women, which actually makes you more attractive as a person. So that you have more to your personality than just, "Uhhh, those chicks are hot, Beavith".
So, learn to adopt this attitude to your life and also PUSH yourself BEYOND your comfort zone with women. Be PROUD of pushing to the point of "failure" because failure is PART of the stress your brain must accept so that it the same actions (i.e. approaching women) becomes EASY in the future. This is no different than your muscles failing on the last rep of that set of presses.
Does anyone make fun of you if you fail on that rep? No one who knows anything about training will laugh. Anyone who does laugh is a real moron, right?
Well, it's the same with any dudes or “friends” who "laugh" at your efforts to improve your skills. They simply are IGNORANT and usually jealous, and most likely have no women themselves, or if they do, they are women who they SETTLED for and not who they chose. The guys who DO understand "the game" will often come over to you and give you props on your efforts and maybe even share strategies with you! That's because we have the ABUNDANCE mentality and not the scarcity mentality. (Note how "scarcity" sounds like scared-city - don't go there!)
This is another reason why I recommend going out alone in the beginning, because most guys can't find GOOD wing men, and also because going out alone forces you to develop INTERNALLY as THE MAN.
The more you push yourself beyond your comfort zone, the more impervious you will be emotionally, and this will make you absolutely CONGRUENT with being THE MAN in your body language, your tonality, and even the content of what you say. And guess whose behavior your behavior will resemble after all this?
Get ready for some IRONY:
THE MAN'S behaviour in many ways resembles your typical WOMAN'S, except THE MAN'S is even STRONGER.
I mean this 100 percent.
Women do SO MANY things that guys WITHOUT the mental conditioning would consider "OUTRAGEOUS" and "JUST PLAIN WRONG" for MEN to do, but yet don't even QUESTION it when WOMEN engage in those behaviors.
Let me give you an example:
Ever had a woman who in middle of talking to you on the PHONE started eating and chewing and didn't even say anything about it? Having her mom's homemade stuff and stuffing her face on the phone with you? She just assumed "who cares" or "big deal". How about things like brushing her teeth all of a sudden while on the phone with you?
Or how about her grabbing that drink, protein bar, or whatever, out of your mouth or hands while in the car with you, WITHOUT asking? And then attempting to eat the whole damn thing? LOL.
How many times have women done this to you?
Without seeking your permission or approval?
I could go on and on and on, but I think you get the idea here:
Women CLEARLY exhibit that they are NOT seeking your approval. As if they are superior. On one hand, it's kind of "FUNNY". On the other hand, it's kind of "ARROGANT". Or shall we call it "SASSY" lol.
The underlying issue, however, is not funny, it's CRITICAL.
How many GUYS display behaviors that show they are NOT seeking approval from a woman? And manage to do it in a way that is so "innocent" and funny, and "sassy" that it's actually kind of SEXY?
Think about that.
And women are not just ACTING this part.
They REALLY feel it, because most guys’ weak emotional conditioning makes it easy for women to believe that women ARE superior to them. Understanding this is the DNA of your success with women.
Conveying clear SUPERIORITY while still coming across as PLAYFUL, FUN and INNOCENT is the KEY. NOT being playful and fun and innocent actually comes across as being bitter and upset for being a LOSER. If it weren't for the fact that it's so EASY for women to behave this way since guys inadvertently CONDITION women to behave this way, I'd say women were GENIUSES.
Of course, because a woman who is decently attractive has no idea of what's it's like to NOT have this power, it’s SUPER EASY for women to behave the way they do. At the same time, women FREAK out when GUYS do NOT give them instant total validation. i.e. Women feel ATTRACTION for those guys.
On the other hand, because in his “prior life”, he has had to endure zero validation from women for so long, if a guy HAS conditioned his mind and happens to meet a woman who does NOT give HIM that instant validation, it does NOTHING to ruin his IMPERVIOUS state of mind.
In other words, all that POWER that a woman has over a guy suddenly goes out the window when she meets a guy who can't be emotionally controlled by her. And if she tries to play the same game on HIM, it doesn't affect him, since he has had a WHOLE LIFETIME of rejection to get a real thick skin to it!!!
Check out Emerson's essay "Compensation" to grasp the full beauty of this law of nature.
Remember, for most guys, who are busy trying to SEEK a woman's approval, arrogant behavior by a woman often INCREASES his attraction to her, and increases his sense of neediness. Her "innocent", playful INSOLENCE gets re-branded as "sassy" and sexy because it’s “funny”. Sometimes even disrespect gets branded by the guy as more proof of her superiority.
Of course, a guy only feels this way so long as HE is busy seeking HER approval. So long as he is NOT THE MAN.
THE MAN just laughs at it because he knows that her "wall" is thin as paper and that for him at least, her "bad" behavior is going to be short lived and the tables will turn very quickly. Your typical guy would NEVER be impressed by a woman's arrogance had he just gone through the required emotional conditioning - had he pushed himself beyond his comfort zone, had he kept up his REGULAR ROUTINE of “emotional workouts” by approaching women a lot, to prevent the problem.
If he behaves as THE MAN to begin with, he is either not impressed by that behavior, or she is too busy trying to impress HIM and she does not want to jeopardize her appeal to him by acting like a smart ass.
I want to point out something else too:
To women, NONE of this is really being "bad". Not when they do it, and not when YOU do it. To women, this is, subconsciously, simply how the "superiors" treat the natural "inferiors"
Yes, this is EXACTLY what it is.
You see, women are so used to being smart-asses and not seeking approval from guys, that this behavior has already become NORMAL for them. Similar how you might feel it's normal to take certain other things for granted. Like breathing. Which of course, you shouldn't take for granted, but many guys probably do. For most women, getting guys is like BREATHING.
It's hard for women to appreciate. So it's pretty easy to show less than stellar levels of RESPECT if they can get away with it.
The funny thing is though, that if they encounter the SAME behavior from YOU, they will find it INTRIGUING, or FUNNY, or BOTH. It's THAT rare for them to meet a guy who is THAT COMFORTABLE and who is NOT seeking their approval.
To most guys, it seems RUDE.
But to women, it seems NORMAL.
It's NORMAL to treat guys like DIRT.
There's no guilt involved.
But nobody said you have to be asleep in the matrix any longer.
And remember, when women see this behavior displayed by you, they will not get ANGRY, they will not see you as a "jerk", they will just see you as someone on THEIR level and they will also think it's kind of FUNNY since it is so UNUSUAL.
The humor stems from the fact that it's so INCONGRUENT to women's typical experience.
Remember, all YOU are doing from their perspective is standing OUT from all the other guys who they can get simply by EXISTING. Trust me on this, I know from doing this for years. I originally thought, man, these chicks are nuts, they LIKE it when I act like a jerk!!!!! Now I understand that it's not so simple, it's more like I am acting like something that is REFRESHING and worthwhile and fun who will obviously require some EFFORT to win over. Who is well worth that effort.
And the truth is, that actually IS how I am anyway, the fact of the matter is that I don't just go with any hot woman, she has to meet my standards of stable personality as well.
The reality for me now is that it feels WEIRD to NOT BE THIS WAY. It feels WEIRD to kiss up, it feels WEIRD to treat women like they are on a pedestal. I can't do it without feeling weird. It feels WEIRD to even THINK about needing a woman's approval.
Brushing my teeth while a woman is on the phone with me seems pretty normal to me now, (of course, I learned this from a woman!) and funny to me when she playfully complains about it. And she thinks it's funny too. We are in the same reality, and it's hard for her to find guys in the same reality as her, or in fact, in an even more dominant reality.
Don't get me wrong, none of this is about being fake or abuse. As a matter of fact, it's GREAT if you can make women laugh, give them a great time, etc., etc., and if you learn the skills to develop a deep connection with them. I teach all of this, and it's very powerful. However, the FIRST emotion you want a woman to feel is the emotion that you are SUPERIOR, for THAT is the GREATEST turn-on a woman can feel.
And THEN, later, when you make her laugh, and give her the feelings of having a great connection, and rapport, it will REALLY be the icing on the cake.
And if you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that immediately. This book lays the roadmap that you need for taking things all the way from how to meet women to getting physical and relationships. This book is where it all begins, your foundation to your incredible future with women.
Download it now at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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