When it comes to teaching the truth about success with women, I believe reality is more powerful than fiction. Why do I say this?
The reason I say this is because I see a lot of misinformation out there. There is "this" tactic and there is "that" tactic. The truth is that any guy who relies on "tactics" alone will at best have short term success, if any.
So you wanna know how to be a "natural"?
Take a good look at how typical women behave.
The reality is that these days, women tend to do a lot of the right things naturally, at least in the BEGINNING. In fact, the same thing that helps a woman to attract a guy INITIALLY (overconfidence) is what often RUINS women's success long term, since psychologically healthy guys will dump a woman eventually if she keeps on taking him for granted. Most guys don't have to worry about being overconfident.
Now, of course, women have a giant luxury that men don't have- basically, men approach women in our culture, and chase them. This gives women a very easy environment in which to feel confidence in this arena and also a sense of abundance and a relaxed attitude toward meeting guys.
Nonetheless, let's take a good look at what women DO:
START OFF WITH THE ASSUMPTION THAT THEY ARE ALREADY QUALIFIED AND THAT IT IS THE GUY WHO MUST QUALIFY HIMSELF.
So regardless of whether you meet a woman online, in real life, in a group of friends, or alone, women tend to not take initial interactions very seriously at all. After all, it is already taken for GRANTED that the GUY will be interested in HER. But will SHE be interested in HIM is HER main question.
This is why it's so easy for women to act spoiled and a bit rude and play games. They already KNOW they have the guy, so it's kind of an entertainment for them at that point UNLESS the guy does something to STAND OUT or to STOP THEM from taking him for granted.
What can a guy do to accomplish this?
Well for one thing, he can MODEL the same behavior!!!
In other words, he can behave as casual and cocky and lighthearted about the interaction as she does. He can also make it clear about the kind of qualities HE is looking for in a woman.
And to me, this is not a game.
It's not a tactic.
It's the TRUTH.
When a guy behaves this way, this IN ITSELF causes her to FEEL something is DIFFERENT, ironically, because he is behaving the SAME as her. This means that now the playing field has suddenly become more level, and she KNOWS it.
This is one clear example of how men can take back some power in an era that has brainwashed men to become doormats for women.
There is NOTHING stopping any man from reclaiming this power.
HAVE A LIFE.
One thing about me is that even before learning and experimenting in the dating world, I always had my own interests. The problem was that sometimes I would get down emotionally because of the women situation in my life, and that would hold me back from being all I could be in my other interests and hobbies.
When I figured out the whole "woman thing", it took a HUGE EMOTIONAL LOAD off my back, because it no longer was this obsessive issue in my life, and it allowed me to focus on other passions of mine.
But the craziest thing is that having these other passions and NOT being obsessed with women actually INCREASED the attraction I was getting from women.
It started to make sense to me after a while:
The more diverse your personality is, the more interesting you become and not only that, but a woman then has to WORK HARDER to gain your interest, since you have other things in your life besides just wanting women.
Plus, passion is just plain SEXY. This is where the saying comes from "Getting there is half the fun". If you are passionate about your goals, you actually ENJOY THE PROCESS. And the people around you get to bask in the aura of that glow.
It's fun to be around passionate people. I personally like to find the joy in even the "little" things in life, whether it's an ice cream or a sunset. The funny thing is that the better your state of mind is, the more energy you have, and the more you do, the more energy you have, while if you do nothing, you feel like doing nothing.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying to lose balance, I'm just saying to not get over obsessed with just women. And guess what?
Most attractive women are very busy. Whether it's with their family or their career or whatever.
They are not too worried about the whole guy thing (unless they have made some big mistakes, which actually many women do make regarding men).
And the really desirable attractive women, the ones with good personalities as well as superficial qualities, can tell pretty damn quick when they are dealing with a guy who just doesn't have the personality, or who exudes negativity.
Little tiny things that indicate the slightest negative, bitter, or even needy butt-kissing personality traits become VERY OBVIOUS to not only women, but ANY person who DOES have their state of mind in a positive place.
And since the most desirable women already know they are desired, they are in a very strong frame of mind which enables them to detect others who ARE and others who are NOT in the same state of mind.
To be honest, the MOST desirable women actually DON'T spend much time in clubs, I have realized.
The reason is that these women ALREADY HAVE more than enough of the typical batch of guys to choose from, and going to a club where the masses have access to them would be kind of similar to a famous billionaire walking around in public with a sign saying "ask me for money".
I mean, HELLO.
That makes sense, right.
Hey, it wasn't obvious to me at one time either.
Now I realize why the best women I have met have always been in natural situations where they were just doing their own thing, and we just happened to meet, be it the bus, train, the store, or what have you. They were not seeking attention, the same way billionaires are not wearing signs saying "ask me for cash". (I'm not saying guys shouldn't go to clubs, in fact I take guys there to practice fundamental skills since the quantity of women is so huge).
They were busy LIVING THEIR LIFE, HAVING A LIFE, and NOT obsessed with meeting guys.
Guys need to take a cue from this, by getting busy with their own lives.
The great BYPRODUCT of this is that your self-esteem SKYROCKETS when you work on your goals and gradually achieve them. And self-esteem is very sexy. The next important behavior is, as they say on Sesame Street, is:
"IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, CLAP YOUR HANDS".
Okay, what I mean by this is that when you are in a good mood, you can let it show in many different ways, from the expression on your face to your mannerisms and the clothing you wear.
I think that as guys we have been trained to be kind of stoic. This is great for battle, but not that great for socializing. Women are not afraid to really let the vibes flow in a social setting. Women can chat about nothing for hours and feel great.
They'll dress in a fun way that catches attention, they'll hang out at a social setting whether a club or some friends at a café, or whatever, and be laughing their heads off etc.
Dressing this way not only reflects a powerful image, an image of being confident and fun, but it also reinforces in the brain that you are actually confident, desirable and fun. This is part of that HUGE phenomenon known as CONGRUENCY.
Guys, however, are a little too quiet for their own social good. Too concerned of seeming like an idiot. So they bottle up, they try to make themselves INVISIBLE.
OR they OVERCOMPENSATE and act like total CLUELESS MORONS, by being TOO ARROGANT or being just plain weird.
For example, instead of being playful, they are mean. Instead of speaking with a louder voice, they YELL. Instead of choosing a shirt that's funny, they choose a shirt that's gross or overtly sexual in a way that's reminiscent of a grade school kid who sneaks to read Playboy. (which could be funny if it is clear that that IS intentional, kind of like the name of the group "Barenaked Ladies"). Again, most of us acted this way at one point, so I ain't pointing any fingers!!!
Most women don't worry about this, again, it's easy for them since they are constantly having their confidence reinforced by guys. They are being given validation all the time in this regard. Still, the fact is that by being more socially expressive and playful, you open up the doors BIG TIME for social success.
It's amazing how if you wear a funny shirt, how many women will strike up a conversation with YOU just because of it.
That's because you are making a statement there that says you are playful and that you don't worry about seeming like an idiot. It helps say you are a positive minded fun guy, and that makes you more inviting.
This is actually a huge topic that I deal with in detail in my seminars, bootcamps, and workshops, but the point is you want to do everything in your power to exude the right attractive traits, which you NATURALLY would do if you just EXPERIENCED the kind of validation that a decently attractive woman does on a regular basis.
So there you have it - three traits that women exude NATURALLY that you can incorporate into your everyday life. And once you start doing this stuff, the VALIDATION you will get from women will make you start to exhibit these behaviours NATURALLY, for the same reasons women do.
I explain all of this stuff in detail in my book, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women. it’s jam packed not only with the specifics of what to do to approach women and bridge into getting physical, but also with how to get into the right mind frame and keep your mind that way. Remember, the greatest gift you can give a woman is the feeling of POWER that you will resonate as THE MAN. And that’s all in the brain, so watch what you feed it.
You can download the book right now and be reading it in just a few minutes.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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