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Get ready for some irony. Yeah, big time irony.
I want to talk today about a total shift in your PARADIGM. I'm talking about your entire personal model of reality when it comes to women and what you think you need or don't need.
So hold on tight and don't let go 'till it's over, because it's deep.
This may surprise some of you, but my primary goal has never been to "succeed with women at ANY cost". Never has been, never will. Some "costs" are just too high. You see, for example, if you believe in your own self-esteem, then you realize that selling away your self-esteem is not worth ANY "prize".
And the IRONY of the matter is that it's only WITH this attitude that you BECOME the "prize". Women are ONLY attracted to guys who are NOT willing to sell their self-esteem.
And self-esteem is nothing but living in harmony with your own values. Go against your own values, and it's "good-bye, self-esteem". Too many guys are willing to sell themselves and do ANYTHING for women, which actually leads to poor self-esteem and poor results with women.
Now, without an understanding of how to be in charge of your own emotions, and an understanding of what emotions really are, this is easier said than done. Let me start by DESTROYING one of the GREATEST MYTHS of ALL TIME.
Hang on while I go Shakespeare on ya for a second- do you know what LOVE is to a woman? (in the male-female sense)
In general, it's the EMOTION felt by a woman toward a guy who she feels is, overall, (drum roll please).... SUPERIOR to others.
END OF LECTURE.
It's NOT a very romantic thing.
It's NOT a very "nice" thing.
It's actually a euphemism for "selfishness".
The more desirable YOU are, the more you will be "loved".
The word "love" is actually fairly new to human language. Our ancestors weren't so stupid to waste time on fooling themselves with ridiculous euphemisms. They were too busy trying to survive another day. The better you were at survival, the more sexy you were.
Only modern b.s. and "progress" were "intelligent" enough to come up with this "love" business.
Love is NOT the emotion a woman feels toward a guy who says "I love you"- unless she ALREADY feels he is superior.
Only once he is superior, in HER mind, considered SUPERIOR, then and ONLY THEN is his affection prized by her.
Okay, I hear you asking.
What the heck do I mean by SUPERIOR?
It means that she FEELS he is valuable and desirable.
Not that she THINKS he is, but she FEELS he is. THERE A BIG DIFFERENCE BETWEEN THE TWO. A woman THINKS that the nice guy is desirable. But she FEELS that the totally confident, leading, cocky, NON-NEEDY guy is valuable.
EMOTIONS beat out THINKING every time. Especially these days. Especially with most attractive women, who are not forced to think much about these matters. Most guys give off the vibe that they are NOT VALUABLE, THAT THEY ARE NOT DESIRABLE.
Most guys tolerate disrespect, or they kiss up, or they keep on giving without getting, as if they were defective merchandise that had to compensate by giving more and more to make themselves more worthy.
Or they approach a woman all namby-pamby and weak, as if she has the power to make him or break him.
Or they approach a woman and they get all serious in tone, again, making her feel that she is serious stuff to him, worthy of his overly serious attention at the first sight of her.
All this is just signs of HIS "love" (lust?) for HER. It does NOTHING to make HER love HIM.
It's CRITICAL to understand what this "love" stuff is, or more importantly, what it ISN'T.
A few years ago, when I first started to figure this stuff out, I got a bit upset, to put it mildly.
I felt like I had been fooled.
Yes, my success with women went up, but I wasn't HAPPY about the whole thing, because I felt that my old fashioned concept of "love" was NECESSARY to have in order to be a complete person. Imagine knowing that something is both a lie and impossible, but yet feeling you need it anyway. Well, I want to share with you the secret that I learned that made everything make sense.
WE ARE WHAT WE FOCUS ON.
Focus on feeling great, smiling, having a great time, not needing approval, and you will feel exactly that. If you focus on what you are missing, you will feel you are missing something, no matter how MUCH you have of everything else.
If you focus on what you HAVE, you will feel that you have an ABUNDANCE of things in life.
So the FUNDAMENTAL PARADIGM SHIFT should be to BE THE BEST MAN YOU CAN BE, to improve YOURSELF instead of trying to find endless ways of being "nice" to a woman.
Don't get me wrong- if a woman has earned your respect, by all means give it to her, just remember that her attraction to you is based on YOUR superiority, not on hers. If she feels she is superior to you, you are finished, history, toast, nada, zilcho, .you get the idea.
Once a woman has clearly expressed a serious interest in you, you can reciprocate some attention, but never in a butt-kissy way.
It's critical to make the paradigm shift from love and romance to the TRUTH about what attraction is. Any other viewpoint is just a recipe for disaster.
Trust me, if you were told everyday from childhood that one day you will fly like a bird, just like Superman, and you believed it, but then as the years go by, you never flew, and one day you found out that it was a lie, you would be majorly pissed off. Like, totally depressed.
Eventually, you adapt and things are cool again, good times, and you realize the whole thing could have been prevented by just not being lied to in the first place. So the BIG SECRET is that you DON'T NEED this b.s. version of "love" to be TOTALLY FULFILLED.
The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will be INTERNALLY solid and content.
And THEN you will have MASSIVE SUCCESS with women.
Because, you see, the GREATEST form of superiority is EMOTIONAL superiority. He who is happy with himself has truly unlimited power.
Think about it- how much time and energy do we waste on negative emotions? Imagine how much more productive we all would be if we did not expend energy or time on negative emotions. Think about what you could accomplish personally, emotionally, socially, or financially.
I think that nature itself has made us attracted to the truly superior being - the person with positive emotions who cannot be brought down emotionally for long. Sure, we all get thrown punches in this world, but the superior ones get right back up and keep punching back.
Looking good is sexy because it is CONGRUENT with FEELING good, but it's only PART of the puzzle.
If you feel like crap, you will not make women feel good no matter what you look like. A woman feels GOOD when in the presence of someone who feels damn good about himself. We all want to bask in the positive glow of emotionally strong, content, positive people.
Yes, you can be masculine and FUN at the same time. When you are in a good frame of mind, you can accomplish anything. You become a true SURVIVOR.
It's not about being the richest, the smartest, etc. It's about SURVIVAL. And the key to survival is usually not intelligence- it's CONTROL OF YOUR EMOTIONS.
THIS IS THE ULTIMATE SEXINESS seems women are hard-wired to feel this way.
Okay, so on to the "real world' aspect of this. If a guy is totally content with himself and needs no approval from others, how much do you think he cares if a woman rejects him or not?
ZILCHO, that's how much.
He will not be angry or bitter, because he JUST DOESN'T NEED IT.
If you had a trillion dollars, how would you feel if you lost a nickel? And guess what most women's reaction to such an impervious, self-content guy will be?
They're going to WANT him, that's what their reaction will be. They can't HELP but want him. And the thing is, when a guy is that happy with himself, he tends to be TONS OF FUN too. He is BURSTING with a SILENT radiance that has self-confidence OOZING out his pores.
When he makes a joke, you KNOW it's not because he needs to impress you. You know that it was just 100 percent pure fun. Now, I have good news for you. You can BECOME this kind of person.
And one of the greatest METHODS to do this is to learn how to approach and attract women easily. Forget about the women- that's just a side benefit, the main benefit is to your self-esteem, because once you KNOW you can attract women, you won't NEED to be obsessed with it, and you can focus on your other goals in life!
I know for me this was a HUGE area that was holding me down. And it seemed that only the JERKS knew how to attract women, which made things even worse. But I can show you how to attract women by truly being UNSTOPPABLE and just HAVING A GOOD TIME.
I'll make you razor sharp- your fundamental FRAME of reality with women, your approach, your presentation, all the important aspects of your body language, the mentality behind the way you are socializing. I'll eliminate the nervous movements you are doing without even realizing, and I'll obliterate your fears, so that you can get this area of your life conquered once and for all.
Once you are CONVEYING absolute TOTAL confidence, comfort, and relaxation, you will get the RESULTS you are looking for. And those RESULTS will GIVE you REAL confidence.
It's not even about women, it's about you.
It's an incredible feeling when you know women want you. You stop needing their approval because you KNOW you can get it if you really needed to, and your standards for the respect you expect from women go up. Then you can go and really take off in all the other areas of your life.
And if you would like to start getting results TONIGHT, I can think of no better way than by downloading my eBook IMMEDIATELY. This book is the DNA of attraction, PACKED with the info you NEED to KNOW to get RESULTS with women.
Download it now at:
Inside, you'll learn:
-How to trigger attraction instantly.
-How to approach women and create "instant dates."
-How to get physical.
-How to handle tests.
-How to create a powerful sense of connection.
-And much, much more.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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