I like getting to the point. Lately I've been getting a lot of emails with similar questions. The one category boils down to "there's this ONE girl at my office, and I'm not really a social person so clubs or group activities are not a good idea for me, so how do I get this one girl at the office who I can't talk to since she's blocked off by this cubicle etc ".
The other category falls under "hi, I'm learning a lot but haven't actually done REAL pickup, but there is this ONE woman I've met online who lives in another country, and we've had a couple of decent emails back and forth so far, but she hasn't been responding so well lately. What do you recommend?".
Both of these categories are clearly indicating a much bigger issue: The skills need to be developed in the first place. Then, you're able to pick up and attract more women than you could count, and just about ANYWHERE.
Here's an example:
While you are trying to find a parking spot, a woman can be walking to her car to leave the lot, and you could use that as perfect pick up opportunity.
You could ask her if she's leaving the lot, and you could tell her you're looking for a place to park, then as she arrives at her car, you can tell that this relationship is working pretty well so far, and tease her that does she always act this nice to guys she is attracted to (I'm laughing here). And then, as she laughs, perhaps you can tell her a bit about something interesting such as how many people are willing to get fines by parking illegally in the lot just to get to work in time, and how people really need to have more fun in life and not be so caught up in work, and you can ask her if she is a fun type or an all work no fun type.
Again, this is just an example from my own experiences, you shouldn't copy this exactly, as it was perfect for that situation, but you can get a feel here for what I'm talking about.
How many times have you been at the bank while in a huge line that will easily take 20 minutes, with a fine woman in front of you?
Opportunity is all over the place, once you are READY for it.
And when THAT happens, you don't focus your energies on the "one" girl at your workplace, because you already HAVE TONS of other options just as good if not BETTER.
And you don't need to jeopardize your work situation either when you have tons of other options. And, you don't spend all your energy and hopes on a woman who lives halfway across the planet who you can't even meet. I'm not saying there is anything WRONG with trying to pick up women who live a universe away from you and who you could only contact by internet, it's just not where you should be spending the BULK of your energy and time. There is no reason on earth to do that once you have the skills to get results with endless other women.
In addition, by being a guy who actually takes intelligent ACTION, rather than relying on a CRUTCH called "woman at work" or "woman from other side of planet" you develop the MINDSET that you are not NEEDY for any one particular situation, especially not desperate situations for the "one woman at the office", or the woman across the globe who you never even met yet.
Look, the reality is that you CAN attract that woman at the office, but only AFTER you learn how to attract women in general. And if social situations seem uncomfortable and "not your thing", you have to ask yourself why this is, because the truth is, once you get GOOD at it, it will VERY MUCH be "your thing".
The reality is that it's not a COINCIDENCE that 99.99 percent of the time when guys are doing this stuff like being stuck on ANY one girl, especially a one girl at the office situation, or when they are stuck on some girl who lives a hundred thousand miles away, that same guy is not skilled at pickup and at attraction and at being able to create any emotion in any woman.
Get the skills of pickup and attraction first, and then the world of women opens up to you.
Otherwise, what happens is that the internet woman a world away becomes a CRUTCH since you can't meet her now anyway, so it SEEMS good since the woman can't exactly REJECT a guy she hasn't even met. Similarly, it's EASY to focus on the woman at the office who is ALREADY there and who will be there everyday, it seems like an easier option, and our minds always want the path of least resistance, we want the easy thing.
But I'm saying that without the skills, it doesn't matter how easy it looks, because it's not about the location of the woman, it's about you having the skills.
You have to be able to have the skill to GO OUT and FIND women, and attract them, and TAKE CONTROL of YOUR DESTINY.
It's easy to just do NOTHING except take the easy way out, and focus on the woman who has been "brought" to you, but it means nothing without the skills.
You have to realize that focusing on these "easy" kind of situations is symptomatic of the problem itself. It's a lack of being PROACTIVE and TAKING CONTROL of your life. And not being active in that sense is not cool. Especially if the underlying issues are a fear of interaction that you are not willing to confront. Because those inner demons will manifest themselves no matter how convenient the situation is, even if the woman falls into your lap, it won't mean anything because without the requisite skills in this department, she will slip right back out again.
If you find yourself focusing on these kinds of "easy" or "crutch" situations, STOP. Get OUT of the house, get OUT of the workplace, and LEARN TO DO REAL PICKUP. Or, if you want it to be easier and you don't enjoy the thrill of pick up (it really is fun though) then just get a larger social circle and meet women that way through mutual friends. Even through social circles, though, having the skills of pick up will make you that much BETTER with women.
Success when it comes to attraction is about CREATING SUPER POWERFUL LIBERATING EMOTIONS in a woman's mind!
IT'S ABOUT MAKING HER FEEL ALIVE AND GREAT THROUGH EXPERIENCING TONS OF FANTASTIC EMOTIONS!
And by the way, ONE of those awesome emotions is EXCITEMENT.
How on earth are you going to do that if you are still internally emotionally stuck on worrying about weak things like what women think of you?
It's a great irony, that in order to bring out great emotions in a woman, you yourself have to not allow fear of approaching and interacting with that woman to get in the way. This is simply because if your state is weak, it's not attractive.
This is VERY DIFFERENT from being in a MEAN state, it's very different from not liking women, it's very different from being BOSSY.
It just means you are not HELD BACK by those fears.
In fact, you can USE that energy, even the fear, and CONVERT that energy into something awesome that is magnetic, with practice. For example, that same fear of women can be used once you already start the interaction, because you can say to yourself that you are already in it, and you're still standing, so you have nothing to LOSE by now using that adrenaline to boost the drama of the interaction by doing cooler things such as teasing her in a fun way that normally you wouldn't feel comfortable doing. You will now do it because you have nothing to lose, since in your mind you have already done the most emotionally risky thing - you have approached her, started the interaction, and you are still standing.
The highest level of success with women is about so much more than just NOT BEING AFRAID of interacting with women, and this is a huge topic that I go into massive detail into in my Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program CD Series, but before you can get into those advanced levels, you have to ERADICATE THE NEEDINESS and the fears holding you back. (Of course, I also go into FULL DETAIL on how to do that as well in my materials and programs.)
Think about a great singer or performer, there is no way they can be at their best if they allow fear to overtake them when they are singing or performing, and yet clearly there is so much more to it than just not feeling fear. But if your favorite rock star suddenly got up on stage and started stammering out the lyrics, and hesitating, and moving with uncomfortable body language, the effect of the song would be totally destroyed, right? In fact, many of the great performers DID and DO feel fear, but the ONE place they did not feel fear, the one place they DID and DO have it under control, is when interacting with the crowd, i.e. when they are DOING THEIR THING ON STAGE!
The reality is that even if you do feel fear, it's okay, as long as you can CONTROL it when it COUNTS, i.e. when interacting with women!
And, the truth is, creating ANY emotion is an ART. Much in the same way an artist elicits infinitely different emotions, you too can elicit any emotion you want in a woman once you understand how ALL emotions work. An artist knows that this involves many things, including not only the optimal and creative use of his voice, not only his confidence, not only his creative use of accessories and clothing, but also involves the ability to ENTER into infinite states of mind, and to do this with complete and total congruency. This also requires the COMPLETE immersion of one's self into the RIGHT ENVIRONMENT.
This environment has two components to it, when it comes to being successful with women:
First of all, you must surround yourself with the kind of environment that is congruent to the beliefs and lifestyle of a guy who IS successful with women. Second of all, it also means surrounding yourself with the kind of people who ALSO are improving themselves in this area. This way, it becomes a form of POSITIVE SOCIAL FORCE on you. This is just one of the many INDIRECT benefits of taking the Seminar by the way, (besides the actual direct benefit of LEARNING PICKUP) and taking the Bootcamp, because you are in the right environment - the environment of a guy who REALLY does this, not a guy who POSES or who just rips off written words from another guy and PRETENDS to be a guy who really is IMMERSED in this stuff.
Even just that environmental pressure factor ALONE will have huge impact on you, you will start to think differently and feel differently, you will start to take on different attitudes and it will feel very comfortable and natural.
And if you can appreciate that, then imagine how powerful the effect on you would be if you also PUT TO USE everything you also learned DIRECTLY from my programs!
And I swear to you, all this is just the TIP of the iceberg.
Having the ability to enter these INFINITE and different states of mind also enables you to be able to PERFECTLY relate to the woman in front of you, NO MATTER WHAT STATE SHE IS IN, so she feels a SINCERE and genuine connection, and yet your ability to CHANGE states not only enables you to open the woman up and relate to her, even if she is in a less than stellar and great mood, but it also enables you to LEAD HER INTO A FAR BETTER state, because YOU are able to COMPLETELY enter that other state.
You have to do this gradually and smoothly, if you jump states too abruptly it can be jarring and ineffective.
Now, of course, having INSIGHT into HOW emotions work and how to apply this to your interactions with WOMEN is CRUCIAL.
This is where I come in. Not only have I actually been teaching guys this stuff LIVE in person on REAL women for YEARS in my Bootcamps, (The Dating Wizard Bootcamp) but my background is SOAKING in experiences where creating emotional impact is CRITICAL, including advertising campaigns, screenwriting, and speechwriting. This is not something I happen to do, it's my passion.
And you can now benefit from all that in my insanely powerful CD Series also known as The Seduction Mastery Apprenticeship Program. This program is the MOTHER of all programs in this field. It's at:
And if you haven't yet downloaded my eBook, The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women, then do that immediately at:
One more thing about me:
I don't just know this stuff, I know how to teach different types of people. I'm a professional and certified teacher, a graduate of one of the most vigorous teacher education programs in the world.
The way I look at it, if you are serious about improving your skills in any area, it's about getting an education in that area. With me, you are learning from someone who has BOTH the practical experience and yet also understands the best pedagogical practices for learning and teaching. This becomes even more powerful in my live coaching programs where I can meet you and get feedback from you to make sure that I explain and demonstrate things in a way you understand. And in my one-on-one programs such as my bootcamps and consultations, I will gear every SECOND of the program to suit your particular learning style.
It's all at:
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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