Pick-up techniques, when done in your real life, and not just some ideas from some guys who like to type on computers, is actually fascinating when you realize the science and depth to it all. And for all the talk about it and all the books on it, and all the "experts" who just repeat what other "experts" say, there's actually very LITTLE useful information on it.
So I thought I would explain some crucial distinctions about pick-up, all of which come from the REAL WORLD, and I know you will be able to relate to them because these things happen all the time to any guy who is trying to meet women for real.
For example, what do most guys mean when they say they want to learn how to pick up? Do they mean meet girls at school/work? At the club? Anywhere in public places? Do they mean meeting a quality woman? Do they mean the pure raw SKILL of being able to pick up women anywhere?
Because I promise you, even though there is definitely overlap between those things, they are still very different topics that require different skill sets and different insights and different investments of time and energy.
For example, how many times have you been in a situation where you spotted a woman you'd like to meet, but the reality is that you had literally SECONDS to act before she was GONE?
And I'm talking about a woman who is HOT. And I'm talking about not at a club, but in a situation that calls out attention to the fact it's an OBVIOUS pick-up, that is causing you to CHANGE your normal schedule or pattern?
For example, many times at the mall you might see a woman moving toward your direction. If you go up to her and CHANGE your direction to match hers as she walks, especially if you do this right away, you are CLEARLY conveying inferior status.
You are CHASING her.
And not only are you chasing her, but at least in a club, when you go up to a girl, it's a pretty normal thing. It doesn't mean she is the prize just because you are talking to her, as there are tons of girls in a club and it IS a social place, that's what you're SUPPOSED TO DO in a club, socialize.
But if a woman who is HOT sees you are changing your direction to talk to HER, you start to look like a cheesy guy who has nothing better to do than pick up girls. NOT the coolest thing.
After all, why ELSE are you changing directions? And why does SHE count so much? You know nothing about her, so it MUST be her LOOKS. So now you are just like every other guy, except you have more guts, which of course is better than no guts, but guts is not enough. It still looks like you have INFERIOR status.
This is a FACT, when dealing with girls who are HOT.
This is why if I happen to meet a hottie in such a situation, I prefer to STOP her, and have a GOOD REASON for stopping her that has NOTHING to do with "pick-up" vibes that I might normally exude in other places or situations.
It could be anything from looking for something to getting directions to advice on a gift, but again, the main point is that you want to have a way of getting IN without getting blown out by looking like a cheesy pick up artist. The reason why it's cheesy is the LOCATION AND THE SITUATION makes it cheesy, whereas in a club, it's not cheesy at all to be doing pick-up even in an obvious way.
Again, we are talking about HOTTIES here.
So, in the situation at the mall I described above, at first I do NOT want the situation to have pick-up vibes, as it's simply going to look TRY-HARD if I do that.
In a club, NO PROBLEM. The pick-up vibe is FINE. Even good, I would say, as long as it's not a vibe of, "Sleazy pick-up artist with no emotional depth or capability of genuine bonding".
Also, in any other situation where you are not having to do anything different, i.e. merely turning to face her while you are both at the coffee shop in line, or at the magazine rack, etc, pick up vibes are FINE. Because you are clearly not TRYING HARD or changing your pattern for HER.
So then what I will do in the situation I mentioned at the mall is, after STOPPING her and chatting about something that provides a great PRETEXT for the conversation, I will THEN bridge into pick-up vibes, as once the convo has gone on for even a minute or two, we are now in a real conversation, which gives me the license to change modes into more of a sexual flirty thing.
And the best thing then if possible, is get her to continue the chat over a coffee at a nearby coffee shop where she can get an idea of my personality and I can get an idea of hers.
I can get her laughing, intrigued, and build rapport. So THEN if I accompany her after all this, as she has to do whatever i.e. get some stuff from the drugstore, it's OKAY because she has EARNED the interest, it's not just "another desperate horny bastard who wants any girl as long as she's hot" but a guy she actually is interested in who she has EARNED.
So you see, it's not just a matter of having guts. It's also about know-how, as you could have all the guts in the world, and be as bold as you want, but in some situations, going too direct just makes her feel creeped out, no matter how good your body language is.
In every situation, you want to REDUCE the "cheesy pick-up artist" vibes to an absolute minimum, to ZERO in fact, --the reason for this is because for whatever reason, in our society, the HIGHEST STATUS is not associated with being the type of guy who goes around "picking up girls" - the IRONY of course is that is EXACTLY what guys who are high status or even wealthy beyond imagination DO, Donald Trump, Hugh Hefner, Athletes, Celebrities, etc, but the difference is that they do "pick-up" exclusively through STATUS.
So they aren't usually comfortable or skilled at doing pick up when it comes to cold approaches, but they get enough women simply from whoever is in their proximity and recognizes them.
But my point is, when dealing with women who are HOT and CLASSY, when NOT in a club or lounge or bar, you will LOSE STATUS by making your pick-up seem TOO DIRECT. So things like CHANGING your direction to talk to her, things like asking for her number before you have even had any solid interaction/chat, they all look TRY-HARD.
Why are you taking her number without knowing a thing about her? Because she's HOT. So you are telling her YOU ARE THE PRIZE because you are HOT, that's all you need in my world for me to want to ask for your number.
So she feels you are beneath her in status, and it's goodbye attraction.
This is why anything you can do to get her seated and to get you both in a physically comfortable position conducive to chatting is a major help. Because now your conversation doesn't seem try-hard or desperate.
It's also why starting a conversation with something low key, like asking for directions, is not a bad idea WHEN IN THOSE ENVIRONMENTS.
It's DIFFERENT when you are at a house party, club, lounge, etc, because the whole POINT of these things whether people admit it or not is to socialize and mingle, so you do NOT look try hard because you are upstairs going downstairs, changing direction, etc. It's not like she can think "don't you have work you need to be doing???" or "Do you do this to every girl?"
When I hear "experts" saying how "none of this matters if your inner game is tight" I know they are full of horseypoo. If anybody believes MASSIVELY in inner-game, it's me. But the fact is, inner game is not EVERYTHING. It's a major PART of the overall formula, but it's not everything.
If you're at a bookstore, at the magazine rack for example, you appear WAY LESS "TRY-HARD" by opening up a conversation there, because you are BOTH there anyway, you clearly were not PURSUING her.
This not only makes you seem cooler but it also prevents her "anti-slut" defense shield from being raised, as it the interaction can be "excused" in her mind she can RATIONALIZE it all as a "social thing" that anyone could have done and that it's not necessarily a sexual thing, even though of course your VIBE does and SHOULD in fact VERY MUCH exude sexuality.
Honestly, there's a TON more on this topic, but I want to also get to something else in this newsletter, so let's move on to another topic that I notice STILL needs some MASSIVE PUBLICITY, because I meet guys in real life all the time who keep on violating this rule even though I keep on repeating it: NEVER qualify yourself.
Women IMMEDIATELY sense when you are feeling so insecure that you are trying to PROVE your worth by stating "show-off" facts about yourself.
Guys hear me say "don't qualify yourself" and they think I'm serious, but not REALLY serious.
So let me make it REALLY clear:
Even if you THINK she is NOT going to realize that you are qualifying yourself when you use your clever "stealth" method of qualifying yourself, believe me, she STILL knows you're doing it.
For example, a lot of guys what they will do, is if there is a woman who is hot nearby, the guy will start talking to his GUY friend but suddenly talk about his cool job, and exaggerate the truth or even totally lie about it, he will try to say cool things about himself in a "subtle" way, i.e. "I have to make sure all the girls I know are not getting emaciated and that they are allowed to eat even though they are under so much pressure from being models."
But believe me, it's NOT subtle to the woman, she hears it as if it was being YELLED, she sees it as if it was BRIGHT RED, she FEELS it as if it weighs a BILLION TONS!
ESPECIALLY if it's not actually TRUE, believe me, girls who are hot can sense these "cool moves" because:
A. They've seen it before.
B. They can tell that you are congruent with it.
They can tell for sure, because even I as a guy can tell. It's not that women are superhuman, they just have experience seeing the things that guys do to impress them. And I see it simply from experience as well, from my own and from training guys.
So, as long as YOU know in your own mind that in fact you ARE trying to qualify yourself, then no matter how slick your "stealth" version of the qualifying yourself is, you can bet SHE will know it too. What you thought was "stealth" was not stealth at all to her.
What ends up happening is that your effort to show her how cool you are ends up looking like a puppy dog trying to get approval, it looks like you are in fact so mesmerized by HER that you felt the need to PROVE yourself to HER.
What you have just read all comes from the REAL WORLD. To be perfectly honest with you, I haven't met any "expert" in all my years in this field who had the answers to my questions, so I had to go out there and figure it out myself.
And I'm STILL learning, I believe learning Is NEVER-ENDING. It's something I was taught in my teacher training- as a teacher myself, the truth is that I am always LEARNING, striving constantly to be a BETTER TEACHER!
My philosophy is that it's not ENOUGH that I can pick-up women.
I must also be able to TEACH YOU how to do it. And in order to do that, I have spent a MASSIVE AMOUNT of time helping all kinds of guys from all kinds of backgrounds and levels of experience, so that I can get to experience how different guys process information, especially on this topic that is such a vital area of all our lives.
When I make a program or product, I realize that not all guys are coming from the same place mentally, emotionally, and physically. So I strive to make the instruction strategies as inclusive as possible so that all guys can understand it.
And if you haven't yet got my SEDUCTION MASTERY APPRENTICESHIP PROGRAM CD Set, then do that IMMEDIATELY.
You can't possibly lose by getting this Program. It will make a MASSIVE difference in your game, and it will allow you to get even MORE out of ANY of my LIVE Programs.
This is the ADVANCED LEVEL for UNLEASHING ALL of the CRUCIAL emotions involved in attraction, and will even take you STEP BY STEP through exactly what to do in all types of pick-up situations-- like meeting a woman in a busy club and handling her friends who try to ruin the interaction, as well as how to meet women in "normal" places like coffee shops, and how to take things from meeting her to instantly dating her right on the spot and taking her to coffee, and how to get physical quickly.
AND it will explain how to keep things PUMPED emotionally so that she will be ADDICTED to you for as long as you want. AND it will show you how to develop the skills in a way that becomes very natural for you and requires no memorization.
And much, MUCH more.
And if you haven't already downloaded my eBook, "The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women", then definitely do that immediately. This book is packed with insights that will develop your FOUNDATION and you can start using it to meet women IMMEDIATELY.
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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