Greatness often lies in the details. And it's just as true when it comes to success with women. The difference between being good and being great rests in your ability to understand the SUBTLETIES involved.
You see, in real life, we tend not to be so OBVIOUS about anything. The reason for this is because when anything seems OBVIOUS, we tend to be SUSPICIOUS of it. So that's why a guy who talks too much and tries to show off to a girl about how GREAT he is, actually comes across as NOT COOL.
By trying to make it so obvious that he's great, what ACTUALLY seems obvious is that he is UNCOOL.
He would actually come across as MORE cool if he tried LESS HARD, and just leaned back both figuratively and literally.
Have you ever approached a woman, where the conversation just went awesome, and she was showing you she was into you REALLY FAST? And you just felt like you were AWESOME and that you were THE MAN and totally in THE ZONE?
When things go well really fast, what's usually happening is that you are conveying TONS of stuff at once through all the thousands of subtle things that you do when you GENUINELY feel like you are the PRIZE. It's like you're basically sending her subconscious messages at high-speed bandwidth instead of low speed. TONS of cool data about you is getting pumped into her brain FAST.
Understanding these subtleties is the key to the master level and TOTAL CONGRUENCE.
Let me give you an example:
One guy goes up to a group of women and says with a smirk, "chicks are such a waste of time" -and they all take it to mean that he HAS his choice of tons of chicks and basically is not easily impressed and has high standards. They start to feel interest in him.
Another guy says the same thing, but the women think he is just plain bitter and couldn't get a date if his life depended on it. They ignore him. The difference between the two guys goes right down to the different way the guys crinkle their eyebrows while speaking. Right down to how one guy was partially distracted by the tv show on the screen, while the other guy gave the group his focused attention.
If you think I am exaggerating a detail here, you're wrong. You see, women have got the art of this down perfectly.
They fully understand the power of subtleties and use it to DEVASTATING effect all the time. Mostly, it's done in arrogance, to show you SUPERIORITY.
Ever notice the way women roll their eyes a LOT? They do this instead of saying a word, because it more effectively says "you're hopeless" or "not even worth my time". With a simple roll of the eyes, they can obliterate an entire universe. Heck, a simple sigh can be done in a way that says "you suck".
You see, most guys don't even THINK of doing this stuff to women. Because most guys are too busy thinking on a very deep level that SHE is the prize, and not him. And they're too busy letting testosterone and anger take over. But it ain't the caveman days anymore, so you got to learn to show your superiority in more elaborate methods.
Here's more:
How many times have you heard women say "whatever"? It's used mockingly, like "yes, whatever, you're so stupid, I'm just going to make you feel good because the truth is you're so stupid and I totally think you are wrong but you're hopeless and not worth my time".
Another subtlety:
Given the choice to say something a long way or a short way, the cool guy gets to the point faster. Why? Because the longer he talks, the more it looks like he's trying to win a woman's approval. Granted, when initially approaching a woman, you have to get the ball rolling, and you have to speak to keep things under control, but guys that go on and on and on look like they are trying too hard.
All this stuff DOES matter, because we are living in a world where women get kissed up to so much, and so BORED by it, that you MUST use every tool in your arsenal to convey that conquering you is something that is going to be ONE HELL of a challenge. (You DO want her to think she has a CHANCE, or she won't even bother trying. But of course, you never actually give in, like most guys do)
In order to appreciate something, you need to NOT have it. She NEEDS to feel the struggle, in order for her to FEEL THOSE AWESOME emotions for you.
Think about how people who grow up never knowing hunger don't appreciate food. Even if you fasted for an entire 24 hours, so that a glass of juice would look like ABSOLUTE HEAVEN to you, you would still BARELY know what REAL hunger is. Well, when it comes to women, they haven't even had that measly 24 hour fast when it comes to NOT KNOWING what it would be like to have a good guy by their side.
It's YOUR JOB to do that. And do it effectively using subtlety.
Think Yin/Yang here.
This is similar to how a rich father may still make his son work hard, so that he doesn't grow up into a spoiled brat.
Okay, so back to subtleties.
If you spend too much time with a woman, she'll just figure she has you like everyone else. You need to NOT spend so much time with her so that she can APPRECIATE how awesome it is to be with you. Be SUBTLE about it, though, or it won't be believable or penetrating. Instead of telling her how busy of a guy you are, let her discover by herself, that mound of paperwork you had to take home tonight.
Or those resumes you've been typing away.
As a matter of fact, if she says something about how much work you have, say something like "it's no big deal really" haha, see this is the sign of a guy who is REALLY busy, when a HUGE mound of work is "no big deal". If you work out, don't talk about it so much, let her find out all by herself. When you're subtle about something, it's much more believable.
And if you would like to learn how to use the power of subtleties to trigger a deep level of attraction and connection in women, then I recommend you download my eBook- The Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women.
It’s the place to start- it lays the foundation for what you need to know about how to approach women, how to make instant dates and get numbers, and how to take things quickly to a physical level.
Download it now at:
Dating Wizard: Secrets to Success with Women
Till next time,
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This article has been reproduced with the permission of ©Michael W and The Dating Wizard®
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